Monday, May 20, 2024

This is not what I hoped for


This Monday morning I am looking out on a bright, beautiful day, from a place of comfort, living in security.  In comparison to millions of people I am rich, living an enviable life. But, I also have known disappointment, setbacks, and unexpected developments in my life. In my pastoral ministry more than a few persons have shared broken hearts with me, telling me about situations in their own lives that were not what they hoped for, unforeseen developments that have left them wondering if they will ever know joy again. 

Are you struggling with loss of hope today? 
Is tomorrow hidden in shadows of disappointment?

The story of Hannah, the mother of Israel’s great prophet, Samuel, knew that kind of disappointment. She desperately wanted a child, but year after year she was unable to conceive. Her husband loved her, tried to comfort her with his affection, but still she "was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord." (1 Samuel 1:10, NLT)  When she took her tears to the holy tabernacle to pray, even the priest, Eli, misjudged her!  “Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. “Must you come here drunk?” he demanded. “Throw away your wine!” “Oh no, sir!” she replied, “I’m not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord." (1 Samuel 1:12-15, NLT)   Such anguish!

When John, the disciple that Jesus loved, was an old man, the pastor in Ephesus, the Romans sent him into exile on the rocky island called Patmos to silence him. It is not a stretch to think that he felt some disappointment. There he was, in a cave, alone.  But, the old disciple got up on the Lord’s Day and the Bible says, he was ‘in the Spirit.  He was given the visions of the Revelation, wild and wonderful pictures of God’s ultimate triumph over Evil!  Jesus came to John there and we read this line from the first chapter. "When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last." (Revelation 1:17, NIV) 

His submission in heart and mind, his willingness to let God be God, allowed him to experience the touch of the hand of Jesus. I wonder if he would have received the same glorious visions if he had stood on that rocky shore screaming at the heavens about the injustice of it all?  Could he have known the comfort of the touch of the Lord if he wrapped himself in a blanket of bitterness fed by disappointment with God? I think not!

I find no place in the Bible that tells me that I cannot weep, that a Christian must live above disappointment.  Days come when tomorrow is hidden by the fog of frustration, when the ache in the soul is too deep to express beyond a groan. Those moments bring us to a moment of decision. We can become embittered or we can become broken.

A bitter person blames God and cuts himself off from the touch of the Father’s hand.

A broken person kneels in humble worship.

In the song of the broken, the 73rd Psalm, the singer reminds us to look upward in faith. "I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. … Yet I still belong to You; You hold my right hand." (Psalm 73:21, 23, NLT)  We must remember that we are not secured by our grip on His hand, but rather by His grasp of my hand.

Disappointment can bring a depth to our love of God and others. David’s song reminds us that broken hearts are open to God’s healing. "I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice." (Psalm 51:17, The Message)

When tempted by bitterness, reject it. Instead, let your heart break. And, my prayer is that you will feel the tender, comforting touch of the hand of your Father.

Spend a few moments meditating on this word from the Word, letting the picture language form in your mind and feed renewed faith in the Father’s care. "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. On the very day I call to you for help, my enemies will retreat. This I know: God is on my side. O God, I praise your word. Yes, Lord, I praise your word. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" (Psalm 56:8-11, NLT)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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Don't Stop Praying

What's your impossible
Your I need a miracle
What's got you barely hanging by a single thread
What looks so hopeless now
What weighs down your heart with doubt
You beg for a breakthrough
But no sign of breakthrough yet
When you've cried and you've cried
'Til your tears run dry
The answer won't come and you don't know why
And you wonder if you can bow your head
Even one more time

Don't stop praying
Don't stop calling on Jesus name
Keep on pounding on heaven's door
Let your knees wear out the floor
Don't stop believing
'Cause mountains move with just a little faith
And your father's heard
Every single word you're saying
So don't stop praying

He's close to brokenhearted
Saves those who are crushed in spirit
The Alpha and Omega knows how your story ends
When you've cried and you've cried
'Til your tears run dry
The answer won't come and you don't know why
When you wonder if you can bow your head
Even one more time
Do it one more time

Don't stop praying for the prodigal
Don't stop praying for the miracle
Hallelujah hallelujah and amen
Don't stop praying that addictions end
Don't stop praying for deliverance
Hallelujah hallelujah and amen
Don't stop praying for the sickness healed
on't stop praying for His power revealed

Hallelujah hallelujah and amen|
Don't stop praying for the kingdom come
Don't stop praying that his will be done

Hallelujah hallelujah and amen

 

Jeff Pardo | Matthew West

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