Love me, let me love you!

 

Oh, what a thing is love, not to be confused with romance, sex, or desire! At some level we all want to know we matter to someone, to have formed a close bond with another, don’t we?  A thrilling experience, a concert enjoyed, a book read, a movie watched, a quiet dinner - all of these are made indescribably better when  shared with someone or even in a group. Why? Because humans are social creatures. We live in families, we work in teams, we discover purpose through worship and fellowship. We form churches, unions, marriages, political parties, and neighborhood associations - without thinking much about why we do those things.

As the old song says, “Love is a many-splendored thing” but it is complicated, frequently disappointing, and always costly thing, too!  Everyone has known the pain of a failed friendship. Too many experience the dissolution of a marriage that began so beautifully.  An angry word is spoken, a misunderstanding blows in like a summer thunderstorm, offense takes hold and soon turns into wall that is strong and tall. A friend becomes an enemy and her words that wound leave us bloody and confused. Love  can morph, almost mysteriously, into a bitter hatred. Even familial love fails! Sons and mothers do not speak over some relatively insignificant slight. Lovers who once could not stand to be apart for a moment become enemies who actively desire the destruction of each other.

After getting a broken heart, too many choose to refuse to take the risk of loving deeply again.  C. S. Lewis wrote of this - “If you want to keep your heart intact, you must give it to no one — not even an animal. Wrap your heart carefully 'round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change: Your heart will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

We who follow Christ Jesus, the Lord of Love, must not choose to lock ourselves away from love. Instead, we choose to love radically, just as He loves us. We will choose to love those who are unlovely. We will willingly forgive even those who are hard and cruel. We will look for ways to build up, not to tear down.  Difficult? Yes, it is. Costly?  Look no further than Jesus who loved and got crucified for it.  Love is not easy, but oh what wealth we find both in giving and receiving love.

One of the best books I have ever read on the complicated subject of human relationships is titled, Bold Love, (NavPress, 1993, Dr. Dan Allender). One of his assertions is that genuine self-less 'love is not natural.'  Shocked? Me, too. We do not like to admit that we are selfish, capable of living without genuine love.  We like to think that we are loving, generous, and unselfish but a closer look at our lives frequently reveals a less pleasant truth.

Left to our resources, we will love only when another pleases us or complies with our desires or makes us happy. When someone disappoints or fails us, we will be tempted to write them out of our lives. Who hasn’t read those popular posts on social media that urge us to discard those who make life complicated, to shut out those we have labled ‘toxic.’   Some will even resort to cruel and manipulative strategies designed to force the other person to comply or feed the Self!  So much for loving deeply!

Allender writes, "There is an enormous drive in the fallen human personality that impedes the process of learning to love and an equally powerful force outside of every person that labors to destroy every effort to love. ... Complacency and presumption work hand-in-hand to blind even Christians to the importance of love and inherent battle involved in learning to love. IF we are to learn to love, we must begin with an acknowledgment that love is not natural and that love's failure is not easy to admit."   

Simply said, sin and selfishness work inside of us and the Devil works outside of us- conspiring against love's birth and/or survival.  But, when the Spirit lives in us, through faith, assuring of God’s love, we are changed, inside out.  Then, too, there is the false belief that love does not need daily care. Neglect allows it to cool until it dies, all the while we live in denial of the truth!

One of the amazing things about knowing and loving Jesus, and being loved by Him, is the discovery of an ability to love boldly!  “We love,” the Scripture says, “because He loved us first.”  (1 John 4:19, NLT) His love for us defeats our fear of loving and being loved so that we are able to experience that kind of love that defies human description.  We must not read that familiar passage about the depth of God’s love casually or quickly. It is the seed of transformation of our minds and hearts in the profound declaration of the love of our Father.  “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it." (John 3:16-17, NLT)  Insert your name for ‘the world.’  Let that sink in!

Is love challenged in your life?

Before you form a fist and attempt to force a change,
go to your knees! Let the Lord of Love, love you!

Before you pray, "God make them change!"
give the Holy Spirit full access to your heart and mind and let Him change you,

Before you walk away, expressing hatred through cool contempt,
ask God to help you love others - the same way that He loves you.

Love is a force for change that is more powerful than any weapon ever devised by human beings.

Here's a word from the Word. Meditate on it today.  "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God—for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other." (1 John 4:7-11, NLT)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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And Can It Be

 

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior's blood

Died He for me who caused His pain

For me who Him to death pursued

 

Amazing love how can it be

That Thou my God shouldst die for me

Amazing love how can it be

That Thou my God shouldst die for me

 

He left His Father's throne above

So free so infinite His grace

Emptied Himself of all but love

And bled for Adam's helpless race

 

'Tis mercy all immense and free

For O my God it found out me

'Tis mercy all immense and free

For O my God it found out me

 

Long my imprisoned spirit lay

Fast bound in sin and nature's night

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray

I woke the dungeon flamed with light

 

My chains fell off my heart was free

I rose went forth and followed Thee

My chains fell off my heart was free

I rose went forth and followed Thee

 

No condemnation now I dread

Jesus and all in Him is mine

Alive in Him my living Head

And clothed in righteousness divine

 

Bold I approach th'eternal throne

And claim the crown through Christ my own

Bold I approach th'eternal throne

And claim the crown through Christ my own

 

Charles Wesley, Thomas Campbell

CCLI Song #25280

© Words: Public Domain; Music: Public Domain

 

First Impressions?

It only takes a few seconds for our brains to unconsciously decide whether we will trust or like that other person. It’s called ‘first impressions.’  We take in how that person is dressed, the way he stands, the expression on her face -  and choose to engage or ignore. If your reaction to that statement  is ‘not me, Jerry,’ you are not being honest with yourself.  The conclusions that we make in that moment, persist long after we have come to know the person better.

Here is the good news - we are able to make a choice to take a second look and get to know a person’s true character.  First impressions are made without thought, people deserve more!  This does not mean we abandon discernment, that we lose the ability to hold others accountable for their actions.  Our high calling is to approach people with a loving spirit, expecting the best of them, not the worst.  We make the choice to give more thought to the opinion formed in a moment.

Here’s how Jesus talks about the importance of that second look - “Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?" (Matthew 7:1-3, NLT) 

In Sunday School, I learned a story of real drama about how to look at people.  Our memory verse for the lesson stuck with me all these years. “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at a person’s thoughts and intentions.” (1 Samuel 16:7, NLT)   Here is the context.  Samuel, the prophet, was told by God to find and anoint the next king of Israel. Led by Spirit, he went to Bethlehem, to the home of Jesse.

When he saw the first born son, Eliab, he immediately concluded that he had found the king! The young man was confident,  accustomed to making decisions, and looked like a leader.  As the prophet readied the anointing oil, the Spirit spoke to his heart, ‘not that one!’  He met the next, then the next - seven of Jesse’s sons.   “The Lord has not chosen any of these. Are these all the sons you have?”

Jesse told him of one last son, the youngest, apparently of little standing in the family, left out to tend the sheep!  That teenager’s name was David, a ‘man with God’s own heart,’  who would become the poet-king of Israel.

Aren’t you glad that God looks past our failures, our weaknesses, our bumbling and fumbling, our natural skills, our intelligence – right into our heart? I am!  He reads my intention, knows my motives, and calls me higher.  He extended the gift of favor to me, making me a member of His family, not because I impressed Him, but because He loved me. 

Though we were "dead in (our) transgressions and sins," (Ephesians 2:1, NIV)  "because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ…  it is by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:4-5, NIV)  "For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10, NIV) 

Graced, we need to be grace-filled, willing to take a second look, to revise our opinion of others beyond our first impressions.

John teaches us that because we are loved, we will love. A Christian who looks at others judgmentally, who lays a harsh application of rigid rules on others, who just ‘knows’ that the other guy is a worthless piece of trash – needs a love infusion, reminded again that  “he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:4-8, NIV)

Is there someone who needs a second look from you, a person about whom you have made a judgement, someone you have written off as hopeless or worthless? Pray for grace and wisdom, to look, like God, at the heart of those with whom you live.

The word from the Word is a repeat of a passage with which I started this CoffeeBreak. May the Spirit make it living truth for us today. “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. " (Matthew 7:1-3, The Message)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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Give Me Your Eyes

Look down from a broken sky

Traced out by the city lights

My world from a mile high

Best seat in the house tonight

Touch down on the cold black top

Hold on for the sudden stop

Breathe in the familiar shock

Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere

Why have I never cared

 

Give me Your eyes for just one second

Give me Your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me Your love for humanity

Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me Your eyes so I can see

 

Step out on the busy street

See a girl and our eyes meet

Does her best to smile at me

To hide what's underneath

There's a man just to her right

Black suit and a bright red tie

Too ashamed to tell his wife

He's out of work he's buying time

All those people going somewhere

Why have I never cared

 

I've been here a million times

A couple of million eyes

Just move and pass me by

I swear I never thought that I was wrong

Well I want a second glance

So give me a second chance

To see the way You've seen the people all along

 

Brandon Heath | Jason Ingram

© 2007 All Essential Music; Sitka 6 Music; Peertunes, Ltd.; Windsor Way Music

 

CCLI License # 810055