Fidelity is about more than where you will sleep tonight

This CoffeeBreak is not warmly inspirational. It wasn’t fun to write. But, like Ezekiel of old, I feel a call to be a watchman, to issue a warning.


American culture has so blurred the lines of morality that many are confused about what is wrong. Even among Christians, many are ignorant of God’s demands of His people. So, let me talk frankly today. Are you married? Then, you are in a covenant that includes Christ as the third Person who stands as the witness to your fidelity to your spouse. God calls us to keep our hearts exclusively for our spouse and our bodies only for them, as well. It has been this way from the very first. The Creation account teaches us: "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” … So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ ” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." (Genesis 2:18-24, NLT)

There are numerous reasons for preserving fidelity in marriage, not the least of which is that the marital covenant is a living illustration of God's relationship with His people - the Church. Through the grace of Christ, we are married to Him, His beloved Bride, called to spirituality fidelity. The expectation of faithfulness to God precedes Christianity. Moses told Israel that the LORD wanted an exclusive relationship with them. "Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the Lord your God has forbidden. For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." (Deuteronomy 4:23-24, NIV) The Decalogue begins with the stark and clear command - Exodus 20:3 "You shall have no other gods before me." When Israel strayed to follow other gods, the Lord called it spiritual adultery.

Our marriages are to reflect God’s grace and wholeness. We read this in Ephesians: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:31-32, NIV) A Christian who does not honor his or her vows not only dishonors the spouse, they dishonor God. But, where love is deep and disciplined with fidelity, God is revealed before the world, for He is love!

Adultery is a word loaded with pain! When a spouse discovers that the person they love has become involved emotionally and/or sexually with another, it causes deep sorrow, a sense of terrible loss, and sometimes even murderous rage. Why? Because adultery is a basic betrayal. The pain it causes rips through families like a tsunami bringing devastation. The story of David, a man who loved God and wrote some of our best worship songs (the Psalms) includes a sordid episode of infidelity. One night this king allowed himself to entertain a friend’s wife for dinner. His sexual desire overcame his self-control and Bathsheba became pregnant. When the whole thing was over, Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, was dead. David’s sin was forgiven when he finally confessed, but Nathan, God’s messenger, warned him that he had destroyed the trust of his sons and as a result, "your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own." (2 Samuel 12:10, NLT)

David ignored the lesser boundaries that were in place to protect him from his lust. Because he ran through those stop signs, he found himself in a situation where he was overcome by desire. John Mayhall describes the choices that are made before adultery actually happens as ‘leaks.’ He writes:  The “leaks” leading up to sexual infidelity include:
• a feeling that you can talk to a particular person of the opposite sex more freely—and with more understanding—than you can talk with your spouse
• a stirring of the senses when you think about or anticipate seeing a particular person
• an interest in pornography
• unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the physical side of your marriage.
-(Discipleship Journal : Issue 75. 1999)

Here’s a word from the Word. May the Spirit cause it to take root in us, guiding our choices for the glory of our God.
"Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:18-21, NLT)
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God, our Husband and our Lover,
we pray for a true heart that loves You.
As a sin-filled world and
the Devil sing their seductive songs,
help us to hear Your song of love alone.

In a culture that worships sexuality,
We pray for protection, and
For the clarity of the Spirit to keep us
From deception.

Lord, as you love us deeply,
Help us to love.
Teach us to cherish our marriages,
To love even when it’s hard,
To forgive often,
And to go home – with our heart and body.

We pray this in the Name of Jesus, that You will be honored by our lives.
Amen.

Sunk or soaring?

Sometimes my life resembles an emotional earthquake! You, too? Are you afraid? Feeling lost? Confused and confounded? There are plenty of reasons for fear. Things we assumed were unshakeable are changing! Our political scene is chaotic both in these United States and in the world. The economy is stalled and prospects for a quick return to prosperity are not in sight. Our government is broke. Some say the dollar is going to rapidly devalue over the next two years. Socially, there are huge challenges in the area of marriage and family.

One might look at these issues and choose to downplay and/or dismiss them: "Change is constant and life turns out just fine." That's only partially true. Life always changes, to be sure, but things don't always turn out for the best! Nations do collapse, families are destroyed, people die. Indifference is not a real option.

We can try to turn off the alarms. There are many ways to drown the sirens that signal distress.

-Turn life into a party! "Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die!"

-Work hard! We can become consumed in what we do and for a time succeed in ignoring the fear that stalks us.

-Get religious! Some people use religious practice like a mind-numbing drub to AVOID engaging with life's problems. Marx called religion the “opiate of the masses.”

God offers real peace to those who deal with fear in His way! We meet fear with faith. If we try to secure ourselves by performing at an ever higher level, or by seeking affirmation from other people, or by pushing away from intimate involvement with others (isolation); we will only increase our fear. But, if we make the active choice to trust God we move from the instability of reacting to our fears to the steady mature endurance that helps us to hold onto the Lord’s way through Hell and high water.

Isaiah was inspired, at a time when terrible crisis loomed before God’s people, to remind them of the way to true peace. Take a look. Read it slowly, with understanding, even if it is familiar to you. "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:28-31, NIV)

We can soar if we make the choice to meet fear with faith. What is a better picture of freedom than an eagle with wings spread, being carried aloft by the currents of the wind? The Wind of the Spirit will lift us, if we choose to release our fear and embrace His promises. Trust is active, not passive. We look to the Lord to lead. We actively listen for the Spirit's inner voice. We are students of the Scriptures. We conscientiously choose to meet the circumstance of life with integrity. We turn our life to Him, prayerfully committing this day's decisions to His guidance. We stop fretting and ask Him to help us to stand with courage while we wait to see what He's up to!

In this, we are not exempted from troubles, but we gain the assurance we are secure in the Father's embrace and that even death itself cannot separate us from the Father's love! Today, look up and pray:
"Father in Heaven, be the Lord of this day! I choose to trust You. Grant me courage. Settle my soul with your divine Presence so that I will live on purpose and proactively. Keep me from reacting to my fears and help me to respond to Your call. In Jesus’ holy Name, I ask this. Amen." Then, take His strength and go live with courage.

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In 1950, a preacher songwriter named Ira Stanphill faced some huge personal problems and tragedies. From the dark moments emerged this poem which became a well loved Gospel song of that era. A few years ago, country singer, Leann Rimes re-released it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fXin6ofsc8
I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine,
For its skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said;
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty.
But the One who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion,
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
And I know who holds my hand.

© 1950 Singspiration Music (Admin. by Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing, Inc., 741 Coolsprings Blvd., Franklin TN 37067)  CCLI License No. 810055

Father; yes He is 'Abba'

Few things in life predict a future of success and/or security like having a loving, involved Dad! Being fatherless can make a child insecure and lead to all kinds of self-destructive behaviors; rebellion, crime, and failure to achieve. In an interview on 60 Minutes, Senator Scott Brown (R – Massachusetts) recounted a childhood with several different step-fathers, a lot of abuse, and delinquency. Not having a strong father made him vulnerable in many ways, including being sexually molested by a camp counselor when he was an adolescent. Finding discipline in sports helped Brown turn his life around but the pain of fatherlessness is obviously still a factor in his life even after his successes.

Christians who accept and believe that God is their good Father gain a great blessing. Many who worship and serve the Lord call Him Father, but do not love Him as such, nor do they really trust Him to care for them with a father’s love. They relate to God as a Boss, as a Judge, or as a Source; but not as their ‘Abba.’ (A Biblical word for Daddy) The Word urges us to love our Father in Heaven familiarly, calling Him “Dad” as a beloved child would. "You have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children." (Romans 8:15-16, NLT)

Jesus explains our most basic relationship with God by teaching us to address Him as “Our Father in heaven.” He goes on to tell us of His care. “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." (Matthew 7:9-11, NLT)

Then, too, the Word reminds us that like a good earthly father, our Father also disciplines us! "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:7-9, NIV)

Are you scrambling to live self-sufficiently, like a orphan, trying to protect yourself, unable to trust the care of One more powerful?
Were you poorly or sinfully fathered so that it is hard for you to relate to God as “Abba?”

Go again to the Scripture and read of the Father-heart of God. Ask the Spirit to reveal the depth of your Father’s love to you, to help you to grasp that He is not the looming Authority Figure trying to catch you in failure so He can punish you; but rather that He is the Waiting Father, whose grace is amazing, whose mercy is deep and wide, and who acts always for your ultimate good. When that is settled into your heart and mind, you will pray with more faith, live with more peace, and live a holy life that grows from intimate love of the Father.

"Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.
May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us today the food we need, and
forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
And don’t let us yield to temptation,
but rescue us from the evil one." (Matthew 6:9-13, NLT)

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This is my Father's world,
And to my listening ears;
All nature sings and round me rings
The music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world;
I rest me in the thought
Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
His hand the wonders wrought.
This is my Father's world,
O let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the Ruler yet.
This is my Father's world;
The battle is not done;
Jesus, who died, shall be satisfied,
And earth and heaven be one.

This Is My Father's World

Babcock, Maltbie D. / Sheppard, Franklin
© Public Domain

"Oh, those idiots!" Fuming and Fussing?

Mark Batterson tells about hearing a speaker named Denis Waitley talk about how he came to live with radically adjusted priorities. Waitley arrived at the Chicago airport and was delayed. When he finally reached the gate the door was being closed. In spite of all his threats and pleas, the gate agent would not allow him onto the aircraft for Los Angeles. He rushed back to the ticket counter prepared to register an angry complaint and re-schedule his flight. Just as he was about to reach the agent, the announcement came that the flight had crashed on take-off, killing all those aboard. Waitley never even turned in his ticket, preferring to keep it ‘as an unforgettable reminder that life is a gift that should never be taken for granted.’ - Soulprints, Multnomah Press, 2011


In the complex world that we live in, I can guarantee that sometime, somewhere, in some way, nearly everyday, we will find ourselves in situations that are not going the way we think they ought to go. Traffic will come to a standstill, keeping us from an important meeting. Our cell phone will go dead just when we have to get a call to the office and we will discover that we forget the charger at home that morning. Our PC will lock up the very hour that our presentation is due. The morning we feel most fragile, our spouse will respond to our need for affirmation with a blast of criticism. The list goes on and on. Are we so in love with ourselves and our agenda that we will give vent to a temper tantrum, treat one of God’s treasures to our word full of contempt, or even shake our puny fist at God for making our life difficult?

I confess that I have been that angry man too many times in my life. I cannot shake the memory of a June Sunday in 1995, when, following church services, we were rushing to our eldest son’s high school graduation. I wish I remembered the day for the joy of his achievement, but instead with terrible regret, I recall bullying everyone; frustrated because some were not moving fast enough to suit me! I got us to the event on time, but my emotions were so ragged, I didn’t really enjoy it! That’s just one memory of too many. I am thankful that those kinds of outburst are much fewer these days. Perhaps I’ve just mellowed with age, but I think the truth is that I have come to realize that my life is not my own. Someone much bigger is in charge of my life and He is able to direct my footsteps and even use the mess ups and missed flights to accomplish His purposes for me.

Near the end of his life, Paul wrote to young Timothy (and to us!) with these inspired words. He was not in a good place. He was not spending his golden years in a villa on the Med, sipping cool drinks and soaking up the sun! He was in a dungeon in Rome, falsely accused of sedition, and facing execution. But, instead of fuming and fussing, take a look at the attitude of a man whose was submitted to the Spirit’s control. "I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." (2 Timothy 1:12, NIV)

This kind of calm assurance was a life pattern for this man. It wasn’t that he lacked fiery passion. He was highly motivated to spread the good news of the Kingdom across the Roman Empire. But, he also knew that his life belonged to Another. By faith, he chose to accept that the things that appeared to be detours were actually unforeseen opportunities. During an earlier imprisonment, he took note of God’s ability to use his confinement. "I want to report to you, friends, that my imprisonment here has had the opposite of its intended effect. Instead of being squelched, the Message has actually prospered. All the soldiers here, and everyone else, too, found out that I’m in jail because of this Messiah. That piqued their curiosity, and now they’ve learned all about him. Not only that, but most of the followers of Jesus here have become far more sure of themselves in the faith than ever, speaking out fearlessly about God, about the Messiah." (Philippians 1:12-14, The Message)

Stop right now, wherever you are, and honestly thank God that nothing that is happening to you right now is surprising Him!  Take your frustration- big or small – and offer it to Him. Surrender! I mean it. Let the tears spill. Shout, if you must. Don’t give yourself any excuse. Confess that selfishness and thank Him for the privilege of walking through the stuff you’re dealing with today with Him in the lead. Let God, be God.

Here’s a word from the Word.
"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil." (James 4:14-16, NLT)

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My Lord knows the way through the wilderness
All I have to do is follow
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness
All I have to do is follow

Strength for today is mine always
And all that I need for tomorrow
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness
All I have to do is follow

My Lord Knows the Way Through the Wilderness
Word and music: Sidney E Cox