Lonely?

In a time that offers us all kinds of ‘social’ connections, Americans report an epidemic of loneliness. About 1 in 5 of those under the age of 50 report that they feel isolated, alone, a majority of the time. An even higher percentage of young adults (18-29) report being lonely. Ever larger numbers of senior adults wrestle with intense loneliness.

There are many reasons for this including our social and political divisions, the rising cost of living that limits social outings, and the fact that fewer people marry; continuing to live in their parents’ some which often causes increased social isolation. Add in our mobile society, lower rates of engagement with community groups such as church and you have the making of lives that are marked by the sadness of loneliness.

Doctors report that loneliness is more than just a terrible experience. It can contribute to increased health with heart disease, dementia, and even premature death.

We are reaping the harvest of our affair with individualism! For a time, we can find immense pleasure in ‘doing our own thing’ but failing to appreciate the value of long-term relationships, shared purpose, and the ‘give and take’ that comes with real community will lead us to isolation eventually.

The Psalmist poetically writes about it. “I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins. I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof.” (Psalm 102) Most of us have experienced that at least some of the time.

So, how do we defeat loneliness? The answers to that question are neither simple nor easy.

Primarily, we find comfort in the unfailing LOVE of God for us.

By feeding our mind with the declarations of the Scripture, we can move past ‘feeling’ and accept, by faith, what we find there. John declares “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3) In a favorite passage of mine, we find this – “Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3)

I am convinced by the Word that the One who knows us best, loves us most! So many let false notions of a ‘gotcha God’ keep them from knowing the joy of the security of our Loving Father. But that is Who He is.

When we learn to live centered in Divine Love, we become capable of being loving, of developing the kind of acceptance of others that builds strong ties. “We love because He loved us first,” the Word says. A secure person has no need to be critical, exclusive, or mean. The generous overflow of God’s love will make us truly generous with others, willing and capable of true forgiveness. Few things separate people more than holding onto old hurts, nursing emotional wounds, or insisting on ‘fairness’ as they understand it. JForgiveints to the critical importance of this when He teaches us to ask God to “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”  Do you want God to generous in His love then give away the things that are holding you hostage to bitterness, isolating you from others. Indeed, Jesus goes on to repeat the point - “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6)

In Christ, we find a new ‘family’ connecting to a higher purpose with others.
Christ’s Church can be a place where loneliness is defeated. To be honest, it often does not meet that purpose. People fail. Churches are imperfect. Many attend as ‘consumers’ demanding that their ‘own needs’ be prioritized. But, when Church becomes a place where the focus is on worshipping the Living God and serving others selflessly, a beautiful community unlike any other can emerge.

In one of his earliest letters to the Church, Paul speaks of the family of Believers. “Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more.”  (1 Thessalonians 4)  

Few things can defeat loneliness more than being loved in a church family, finding a place of service there, prioritizing attendance at gatherings, and creating long-term relationships with others centered on the shared love of Jesus Christ!

Lonely? Don’t stay that way. Yes, it can be difficult to change old patterns, to learn new social skills, and to find a place to ‘fit’ in this world. But it is possible!

Here is a word from the Word – David’s lament and prayer.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.” (Psalm 25)

May you find the joy of belonging,
the comfort of true relationship,
and the security of the love of the Eternal Father.

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Video of this blog

https://www.youtube.com/@JerScott55

 

 

You CAN do it!

Who among us has not had moments when we feel inadequate, simply not up to the task? 
Am I up to the challenge of this new job?
Am I ready to help my child into the new season of life just ahead?
Can I survive the loss of my spouse?
Will I please God today in my life and work?

I readily admit that I have heard those questions and many others bringing whispers of doubt and fear to the doorway of my mind! There is an answer that lies outside of my own skills or strengths. The Lord God promises to be my Rock and Resource.

In writing of the Old Testament preacher, Zechariah, we find this passage. "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. "What are you, O mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘God bless it! God bless it!’"

Then the word of the LORD came to me: "The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this temple; his hands will also complete it. Then you will know that the LORD Almighty has sent me to you. "Who despises the day of small things? Men will rejoice when they see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel. " (Zechariah 4:6-10, NIV)

Zerubbabel was leading the work of rebuilding the Temple in Jerusalem many years after its destruction by invaders. He had all kinds of difficulties -  clearing the rubble and meeting the threats from the nations that surrounded Jerusalem. His greatest challenge was motivating the people to do the work when it dragged on and failed to meet their expectations of a Temple as glorious as the one that Solomon had built.

His call was to do something BIG and his resources were limited so, using the preacher, God sent him a word to encourage his efforts, reminding him that his greatest resource was the Spirit of God and that when he finished the task, everyone would realize that it was God, not Zerubbabel who made it happen.

What does that ancient story have to do with you and me?  We, too, take the promise of His power to be in us, making us capable, resourcing us with everything we need. 

You and I, in the purposes of God, are also temple builders. God, the Spirit, lives in us. The Word says “our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God.”  He desires a way of life that honors Him, that allows His majestic grace and love to be on display to the people with whom we live.  Naturally, I am not equipped for such a high calling. Living a life where God’s love is consistently shown, where my daily actions are graced with goodness is a huge challenge.

Given that we are flawed by a sinful nature, the idea of being God's temple seems ridiculous - except that I am reminded that it is "not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit."

In Ephesians God's promise to empower us is clear. Paul writes, "God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

The Good News is that God’s love is greater than all my failure! (and yours, too!) Christ Jesus does for us that we cannot do for ourselves, making us right with God, taking away our guilt and shame, and granting us the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Take the Word to heart. Look up with faith. Ask for strength remain steady, for greater wisdom to see the solutions, and for release of Divine resources so that anyone who walks through life with you will say “Look what God is doing!" And, in that, you will have accomplished the calling we each share - to glorify the God who saved us.

Here is a promise. Paul writes after nearly dying in a time of awful persecution. “We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die.

But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.”   (2 Corinthians 1:9-10, NLT)

Put your confidence in the Lord and He will bring you safely home! Amen.

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Video of this blog

https://www.youtube.com/@JerScott55

My really mean Mom

(20 years ago I wrote this about my Mom.
She was an amazing lady who went on ‘home’ in 2011. Enjoy my memories.)

I'm writing this while watching my Mom sleep in a hospital bed. Occasionally she sort of rouses to recognize that I'm here, but mostly the morphine has her in a haze of semi-consciousness. It's my privilege to sit here by her bed, but it's oh, so hard to see her in such pain.

She was on a stepladder on Saturday evening changing a light bulb and she fell breaking her shoulder and hip! Mom doesn't like to acknowledge that she's days shy of 70 years of age, hence being on a ladder when she might have been more cautious. I'd scold her, but I'll probably be just like her 20 years from now - resisting every limitation of age with kicking and screaming.

It's Mother's Day and while I was leading the worship service at church this morning, I was thinking about my Mom; worrying really. In between worries, I remembered - Somehow thinking back to the way she was when I was 10 or 12, made thinking about the 'now' less frightening. I hated that she was a no-nonsense Mom then, but sure appreciate it now.

She believed in making her kids self-reliant, disciplined, and capable of understanding life's choices have consequences. I hated making my bed to her specifications, (lines on the bedspread straight, corners tight!) and I despised that I had to keep my room picked up neatly (no dirty socks on the floor, all clothes on hangars, thank you!) - but from those little daily chores, I learned that IF a person tends to the simple stuff, the harder stuff in life tends to fall into place, too.

She didn't let me think of letting school work go. It aggravated me that other kids could blow off assignments and that their Mom would cover for them with written excuses. Mine said, "you deal with it" and let me take the detention or whatever was coming my way for my irresponsibility. It taught me that deadlines mean something and to get my work done, on time!

She modeled the same diligence she expected of me. I can't remember when she didn't have dinner ready, when the laundry was piled up, or when the house was a mess! I didn't her complain too often either. She showed us that life was about doing what needed to be done. Yep, there's a lot of Mom in me.

So, sitting her watching her face, a lot more lined than the face that I remember when I close my eyes, I believe she'll be OK, because she's one tough lady and because she trusts God. I oughta know, cause she raised me to be tough and to trust Him too!

An anonymous author penned this in tribute to his Mom -- "Because of my mother, I missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. I've never been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property, or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. I didn't get drunk, didn't take up smoking, wasn't allowed to stayed out all night, or a million other things that other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and I didn't miss ever, that I can remember unless I was deathly ill. And, I knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays. Now I'm a God-fearing, educated, honest adult. I am doing my best to be a mean parent just like Mom was. I think that’s what is wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms anymore."

Forgive me for this little reverie... I'm only thinking about my Mom today!

• "Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise." (Proverbs 31:28-31, NLT)
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To all the Mom’s out there – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.