I'll Tell Him Like It Is!

I tried to form a bond, but the friendship, if you could call it that, was never healthy. Despite my best efforts, I could never really make a connection. Was the person just too psychologically broken to form a real bond or just selfishly evil? He spread discord wherever he went, stole from others, lied so frequently that it was impossible to trust anything he said. “Just walk away,” some counseled. “Cut your losses and move on.”  I wanted to.  Indeed, part of me thought that what he really needed was a harsh confrontation, a wake-up call. Yes, I was angry. But, anger is not a fertile place in which to grow godliness, is it? Having this man in my circle of acquaintance was costly in many ways! But, my Lord asks a different response.

Let’s get something clear at the start today. Evil is real. We must not be naïve and think that everyone is must ‘mistaken’ or ‘confused.’ There are bad people who do terrible things to others just because they can. Maybe it is an undercurrent of meanness expressed in rudeness and selfishness. Perhaps it is more malicious – that person who tries to take our job, steal our property, or divide us from friend and family.  Then, there are those who are downright cruel – who want to hurt us.

My response cannot be self-preservation only. Another radical response is dictated for those who follow Jesus. He said that as a person filled with His Spirit I must primarily known for an amazing quality of love that includes a deep reservoir of forgiveness. “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect (whole, complete), even as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:43-48, NLT)

Think through His words in those real situations of life. That former spouse who treated you so badly, that business partner who used you, that friend who betrayed you, that child who grew up to reject your love – Jesus says, “Love him!”  Prayerfully ask the Spirit to help you with the answer to this question: 'how would I express a bold and godly love to that person?'

As you process this remember these things.

First, that kind of love is beyond mere sentiment and is more than benign indifference!It is active. It comes from a deep work of the Holy Spirit, from a solid foundation of God's love in our own life first. "We love," the Bible says, "because He loved us first." There is no way I will consistently choose to turn the other cheek, no way that I will pursue the well-being of a person I believe hates me, if I am not fully convinced that God is my refuge, my fortress, and my loving Father who cares for me. It is almost impossible to boldly love an evil person with an active love that overcomes their wickedness unless we are held securely in faith, the wisdom of the Word planted deeply in our mind and heart. Before we can give grace, we must know grace.

 Second, bold love is not needy. Much of what passes for 'love' in our world is nothing more than an expression of our need to own another's affection. Healthy love that Jesus desires in us is not shaped around our emotional desire to be liked!  A codependent person will continue to let others abuse and mistreat them in one-sided relationships. That leads to pitiful situations where things go from bad to worse. The kind of love that overcomes evil has little to do with our own needs. It has everything to do with meeting the other person's need. Jesus did not need to become our Savior to fill an emotional need in Himself. He is God, self-sufficient in every way. He chose to love us because He knew we were lost. He moved strategically to bring about change.  Is your love both wise and tender?

Third, bold love is hopeful! 
Jesus' love as the model in this, too. Our aim in loving those who are mean, cruel, or abusive is to lead them to the Savior, to call them to wholeness and transformation.  He sees the person who is sinning, who is resisting God's ways, and He loves. Likewise, we love others with prayerful hope that persistent love will overcome and sow the seeds of change in their heart and mind. Radical love is costly and those who choose to love like Jesus will pay a high price. In the short-term it often looks like evil wins over goodness. Love, as we commonly know it, is a weak and inadequate response in the face of evil. The love of God, working deeply in us, is a powerful thing.

Pray for a tender heart, one that refuses cynicism, that will not return evil to those who are unloving. This love is the prime evidence of the Spirit living in us.  Here is a word from the Word: "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:16-20, NIV)

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You Are My King (Amazing Love)

I'm forgiven-

Because You were forsaken.

I'm accepted-

You were condemned.

I'm alive and well,

Your Spirit is within me,

Because You died

And rose again.

Amazing love,

How can it be

That You, my King,

Would die for me?

Amazing love,

I know it's true.

It's my joy to honor You,

In all I do, I honor You.

You are my King.

You are my King.

Jesus, You are my King.

Jesus, You are my King.

Billy J. Foote

© 1996 worshiptogether.com songs (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

CCLI License # 810055

Rich in a different way

Facebook- some hate it, some love it. I am one of those in the second category. Can it be a time waster? Yes, indeed. Can it be addictive? Yes, again. Is it a great way to connect with people? In my opinion, yes, too!  My friends, far and near, take time to publish photos and share stories from life. Our church has a ‘virtual prayer room’ on Facebook, where members (it is a private site to protect confidentiality) can request that others pray. I love to see a request posted and within moments see people promising to pray. I enjoy catching up with acquaintances from the past and ministry associates in this way. It's fun and keeps me connected with people that I would otherwise seldom, if ever, see in person.

The virtual connection can never replace flesh and blood friendships. I have some good friends who are missionaries based in Fiji and we stay in touch online. It’s good to know what they are up to in their ministry. But, there is no way a Facebook post will ever replace a shared meal; laughing together, being around each other. Yet I am convinced that the virtual tie enhances the living one.

Why do we enjoy connections?

God made us to be social! The circle of friends in our lives steady us, encourage us, and help us to avoid that sense of meaninglessness that so often accompanies anonymity.  Real and living social interaction keeps us healthy- physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  The Proverbs reminds us that "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need." (Proverbs 17:17, NLT)  An ancient philosopher is reputed to have said, “In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. They keep the young out of mischief; they comfort and aid the old in their weakness, and they incite those in the prime of life to noble deeds.” - Aristotle

Friendships do not simply form and sustain themselves. Like all things of value, they must be cultivated, protected, and strengthened by investment of time and energy.  Are you building friendships?  Are you forming and nurturing connections with other people?

A healthy Christian cannot be a Lone Ranger, even though he realizes that relationships can be trying as well as a blessing. He will not give in to misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Jesus said, "This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." (John 13:35, The Message) The quality of that love is such that relationships take priority over convenience, work obligations, and even personal feelings! We are committed to one another.

Paul’s prime illustration for the Christian’s connection to others is the human body. My body is a collection of limbs and organs, different parts, still - a unit- each part critical to the function of the whole! Of Christians he says - "You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything." ... "But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster. … Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, "Get lost; I don’t need you"? Or, Head telling Foot, "You’re fired; your job has been phased out"?"  ...  A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together." (1 Corinthians 12 The Message)

Let’s be friends – real, loving, deeply connected with others. You might think you’re strong, not really in need of others at this time. Let me tell you from personal experience – the time will come, sooner or later, when you will need others. I cannot imagine how I would have lived through the suffering, sorrow, and loss of the past two years without the amazing friends that have stood with me, cried with me, help me together, and reminded me of the goodness of God when my world fell apart. 

Here is a word from the Word.  "If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:10-12, NLT)
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Heavenly Father, I praise you today
for creating the Church,
for calling me to know the

joy of serving alongside of others who love You.

Help us, Lord, to stay connected.
Fill us with love; make us patient;
teach us to 'give up' ourselves to serve the needs of others.
 

Make your Glory known through Your Church -

in our holy, loving, relationships. 

Renew our desire for the Gifts of the Holy Spirit
so that we will do the work of Your Kingdom
in a way that is powerful, effective, and fulfilling.
We pray all of this in the Name of Jesus Christ
who called us into His Body.  Amen

Little League and Jesus

Swing and miss. “Tommy, look them over. Choose your pitch!” the coach urged from the sideline as Tommy swung, once again, at a ball that bounced on the plate.  Pop! It’s a hit and the ball shot up the field between second and third base, with the players making dodges, passing one, then two, then three until it rolled to a stop in the outfield. Once retrieved, the ball was thrown towards first, wide and high.  The guy in left field got distracted by a worm. “Coach, there is worm here.”  All the while, the coach kept up a constant stream of correction and ‘atta boys’ from his place in the middle of all those uniforms. Yes, they were just little boys, 7 and 8 years of age, learning to play baseball. They adjusted their hats, kicked up the dirt, and held gloves at the ready – just like the players they watch on TV- but their skills are just being developed. If I see some of those same boys playing in 10 years in high school, it will be different!

Watching those little guys play ball, I was thinking about larger issues of life.  We do so well giving our children things, feeding their bodies, and even taking them to baseball games. What are we teaching them about being human, about relating to others, about the value of things, about how to cope with stress, how to endure hard times, about being productive, about what life means? Do we think that they will just somehow absorb the skills they need for life by watching us?

Are we intentionally coaching them, teaching them, urging them to try, letting them ‘fail’ enough, and commending their efforts to learn how to live best? The transfer of values, life skills, and love for God to the next generation must be our priority. Moses counseled the people of Israel with these practical words. “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NLT)

The Word says that of first importance is our own love for God.  If we hope to instill devotion and develop disciples, we must be what we teach. If we profess to love God but chase stuff, success, and happiness with our full energies, our children will ignore the words and imitate the choices we make.  “Commit yourselves wholehearted to the commands!”

We also must be unafraid to actually talk about the things of God. “Jerry, I do not want to preach to my kids.” Who said anything about preaching? Moses said that we bring God into everyday life – at home, on the road, at bedtime! Our true values creep into conversations, they don’t have to forced. Be intentional with those teachable moments. Invite the hard questions and if you do not know the answer, admit it. Children spot inauthenticity just like adults. Coach your children with conversations that allow a topic to develop rather than handing out an edict or a simplistic answer. Love for others is never simple or easy. Knowing how to honor God is not an easy thing for an adult to discern. It is no different for your child. And remember, they deal with a sin nature and temptation, just like you do! Some days they will do better than others so teach them love, grace, and forgiveness. Knowing how to recover is a skill we all need, right?

Pray with your child, not just for them. “Pray all the time, about everything,” Paul says.
Are they frustrated by a bully at school? Invite them to pray with you about that.
Are they anxious about a test? Pray about it with them.
As the day closes, are they feeling guilt about some mistake?
Listen to their ‘confession,’ and go with them to the Throne of Grace to find mercy.  

 Cover their day by taking a moment to pray out loud with them before they head out the door. Yes, I mean it! 

Let them hear you talk to the Lord about them.  I heard my Mom to talk to God about me and even now, though I am 60 years of age, those prayers echo in my memory, powerful reminders of the immediacy of her faith.

Here is a word from the Word. Inspire us with wisdom to make disciples of our children.

"Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! No one can measure his greatness.
Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power." (Psalm 145:3-4, NLT)

"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.
But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them,
for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there." (Matthew 19:13-15, NIV)

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