Dad - King or Coach?

Here's one thing I have learned about being a Dad that you can take for what it's worth. Your kid, be she 4, 14, or 24 years of age, doesn't want a king for a Dad; someone who is handing down edicts from some lofty height regal majesty. Kids need and want a coach, somebody who is showing them the way and encouraging them to reach for the highest. Key fathering words are character, faith, and wisdom. Dads who regard themselves as kings in their little castle become melded with their recliners, TV remote in hand, barking out orders and sending their kids to do the things that they don't do. They say really dumb things like - "You little *&%$! Who taught you to talk like that?" right after cursing out the driver who cut them off at the intersection. “Why don’t you respect your mother?” while showing her no love or support.  “Go to church. It’s good for you.” as they head off to their hunting camp for yet another weekend, Dads who rule like kings lose touch with their kids then cry in self-pity wondering "why doesn't he respect me?"

Life Coach Dads say, like Paul, "Follow me as I follow Christ." (1 Cor. 11:1)  It’s much more difficult to show the way than it is to point the way.  But, fathers who adopt coaching as their model, realize that values are caught, not taught. They don't have a private porn stash, or go to clubs where they can't take their son, or have a life apart from their family. Dad, live as an open book, letting your kids learn as much from your failures as they do from your successes. Let them know that Dads sometimes do not have the answer and that you need life coaches and God, too! Show them that making the God-honoring choice is costly, but right. Teach them to repent when you sin by admitting your error - to God and to them. Demonstrate that life is more than things, by making the choice to give yourself and your time to others, to the Lord.

Coaches sometimes have to kick butt, too. It’s called discipline. Don’t be a wimpy Dad who is afraid to say hard things. Just do it like the Bible teaches, always in love, never in exasperation! Remember Dad, our Father in Heaven disciplines those He loves, but not just to punish or because He’s fed up with us. His discipline is aimed at correction and producing a positive change in us.

Anybody can plant sperm and become a father in that sense. It takes guts, endurance, wisdom, and the daily help of the Spirit to be a real Dad. Few things in the world compare to the joy that a Life Coach Dad feels when he sees his son or daughter doing the right things and realizing with amazed wonder and some fear, too- "They becoming just like me!"

"Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master." (Ephesians 6:4, The Message)

Happy Father's Day

A slave to the Lie

 He has lived as a pretender for so long, even he believes the lie now. When he talks about Christ, he has all the right words to say. He can even move people with his professions, but those who know him outside of his ministry, know a miserable, mean man in whom there is nothing of the primary fruit of Spirit life: love.  If you asked him if he was a good Christian, he would claim to be a better one than most others, and with considerable pride, too. The real tragedy is that his refusal of the truth keeps him from having the one thing he claims to value more than anything: a true relationship with His Heavenly Father. I wish Sam were an exception, but he is not. Church is full of people who are still in their sin because they will not take a good hard look at themselves in God’s mirror.

The grace of God finds those who are willing to face the truth, as much as they might not want to. Saul, the Pharisee, spent years thinking he was serving God by chasing down Believers and trying to stamp the Jesus Message. On that road to Damascus, the Truth found him. "He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked. (Acts 9:4-6, NIV) In that acceptance Saul became Paul, transformed by grace and given the gift of Life. Years later, he still told the truth about himself: "For I am the least of all the apostles. In fact, I’m not even worthy to be called an apostle after the way I persecuted God’s church. But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results." (1 Corinthians 15:9-10, NLT)

Are you trying to hide something from God, from others, even from yourself?

Are you afraid to admit that you even think some of the thoughts that march through your head?

Do you fear being exposed, worry that you are ‘not good enough?’

The truth is that the One who knows you best, loves you most. Unlike an indulgent Dad, He will not ignore your flaws and failures. He won’t excuse your sin and He will not let you avoid it either. He asks that we face the truth and offers us grace and forgiveness as well as power to change from the inside out.

Here’s the word from the Word for today. "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. If you will only obey me, you will have plenty to eat. But if you turn away and refuse to listen, you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies. I, the Lord, have spoken!” (Isaiah 1:17-20, NLT)

____________

I was once a sinner, but I came

Pardon to receive from my Lord.

This was freely given, and I found

That He always kept His word.

I was humbly kneeling at the Cross,

Fearing naught but God's angry frown,

When the heavens opened and I saw

That my name was written down.

In the Book 'tis written

"Saved by grace."

O the joy that came to my soul!

Now I am forgiven and I know,

By the blood I am made whole.

There's a new name

Written down in glory,

And it's mine.

O yes, it's mine!

And the white-robed

Angels sing the story,

"A sinner has come home."

For there's a new name

Written down in glory,

And it's mine,

O yes it's mine.

With my sins forgiven

I am bound for heaven,

Nevermore to roam.

A New Name In Glory

Miles, C. Austin

© Public Domain

The best or nothing, that’s it!

 

A mother whose son bring her a handful of dandelions with his heart full of love appreciates them because they come with love. I am sure you have received a gift given out of obligation. How did that make you feel? Not all that great, right?  I’d rather not get a ‘gift’ from a person that I know is just attempting to gain favor or making sure to keep the score even. Some of the best gifts have no monetary value yet they are precious!

When you give to God, what is your motive? Are you just trying to appease Him, hoping He’ll keep trouble from coming your way? Are you just meeting minimal expectations, not wanting to look miserly? Or, do you give from your heart; your words, your prayers, your service, your offerings a reflection of your deep reverence and love for our Heavenly Father?

The last book in the Old Testament records the sermons of Malachi. He preached during a time when things were going relatively well for the People of God. Under Ezra and Nehemiah their nation and Temple was restored miraculously. The Persian Empire was enforcing a general peace which allowed them to live with some security in exchange for regular tax payments. Life was better for them than it had been for a long, long time. Were they thankful?  For a time, then their fervent pursuit of God settled into a religious rut and soon they started acting like many of us do when things are good. They griped about God, questioned Him, and just met the minimal standards in their offerings.

Malachi, inspired by the Holy One, challenged them to get in wholeheartedly or stop playing games. As you read some of his words, think about how you serve and give to God.

"The Lord of Heaven’s Armies says to the priests: “A son honors his father, and a servant respects his master. If I am your father and master, where are the honor and respect I deserve? You have shown contempt for my name!

“But you ask, ‘How have we ever shown contempt for your name?’

“You have shown contempt by offering defiled sacrifices on my altar. “Then you ask, ‘How have we defiled the sacrifices?’

“You defile them by saying the altar of the Lord deserves no respect. When you give blind animals as sacrifices, isn’t that wrong? And isn’t it wrong to offer animals that are crippled and diseased? Try giving gifts like that to your governor, and see how pleased he is!” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “Go ahead, beg God to be merciful to you! But when you bring that kind of offering, why should he show you any favor at all?” asks the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “How I wish one of you would shut the Temple doors so that these worthless sacrifices could not be offered! I am not pleased with you,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “and I will not accept your offerings." (Malachi 1:6-10, NLT)

God wants our best or nothing. Worship that comes from duty, that is heartless, is an affront to Him! Remember Jesus’ words to a church that was without passion for Him? “Your lukewarm attitudes make me sick. I want to throw up when I think about your lack of enthusiasm.”  (paraphrase of Rev. 3:16)

Look up today from the ‘stuff’ of life to wonder and worship. Engage your heart and mind in true worship. It will make your Heavenly Dad very glad!

_______________________

Give me one pure and holy passion,

Give me one magnificent obsession.

Jesus give me one glorious ambition for my life.

To know and follow hard after You.

To know and follow hard after You,

To grow as Your disciple in the truth.

This world is empty, pale, and poor,

Compared to knowing You my Lord.

Lead me on and I will run after You.

One Pure And Holy Passion

Altrogge, Mark © 1988 PDI Praise (Admin. by Word Music Group, Inc.) / Dayspring Music, Inc. (a div. of Word Music Group, Inc.)

CCLI License No. 810055

Word pictures!

Pastor Eric took the pulpit and in 30 minutes laid a foundation of ‘why’ on which he build a house of ‘what.’  He reminded us that we had to take the Jesus Message to the streets. He helped us to ‘see’ lives changed from hopelessness to purpose, from wandering about as though lost to being part into the family of the Lord. He practiced what Andy Stanley calls ‘visioneering.’ The picture he painted with words was compelling. Inspired by the Spirit, those words helped dozens to say, “I want to be a part of this” and to invest themselves. Such is the power of vision! We all live out a vision, worthy or base, life-giving or death-dealing.

So, what keeps our vision `on track?'

How can we be sure that we are dreaming about things that are worth spending our lives to own?

Vision must be shaped by the revealed Will of God as found in the Scripture.
A vision that disregards God's will is worse than unworthy. It is sinful.

In Luke 12, Jesus told a story about a man whose hard work paid off richly. He did not condemn the man's work nor did he condemn the result. He challenged the man's vision which was selfish and only about creating a place of personal ease. Jesus concludes his story saying, Luke 12:21 "Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God."

Vision must be informed by the past. While vision must be fresh, it need not be novel!

A keen visionary is inspired by those who lived worthy lives before him. He studies the example of models and adapts their methods to his own life. The accumulated wisdom of those who have served God before us is a rich reservoir from which we drink deeply. Visionaries are informed by the mistakes of yesterday as well. Only a foolish person would not ask, "why did that vision fail to meet the goal?" The best visionaries have a working knowledge of the past from which they courageously launch into the future.  But visionaries cannot be captive of either the successes or failures of the past. Paul knew that and says that "one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3.13-14 Paul did not intend us to understand that he was throwing away all the lessons he had learned. He is urging us to lay down the weight of yesterday's sins and to stop trying to relive yesterday's glories, so that we can discover the wonderful Will of God for life TODAY!

Vision must be larger than our presently perceived abilities. A vision that is too small cannot inspire us to reach higher. If our vision is simply to find our way from bed, to desk, to recliner, and back to bed – why would we need to seek God to make it happen? Who would want to join us in the quest?

So…. What do you see as the core purpose of your life? What is the inspiration of your children's future? Why will you do your daily work? How do you see yourself participating in the mission of bringing the Jesus Message to those who live within your sphere of influence?

One day during a trip through the region of Samaria, Jesus broke the rules and talked with a woman at  well. She was a social outcast, a truly sinful person; but He loved her and reached out to her. That conversation led to a grace awakening. Jesus’ disciples came on the scene and were mystified at His deep satisfaction. His explanation is our word from the Word today. “The food that keeps me going is that I do the will of the One who sent me, finishing the work he started. As you look around right now, wouldn’t you say that in about four months it will be time to harvest? Well, I’m telling you to open your eyes and take a good look at what’s right in front of you. These Samaritan fields are ripe. It’s harvest time!" (John 4:34-35, The Message)

Becoming visionary is hard work. Implementing and maintaining vision is harder still. However, vision pulls us out of the mire of mediocrity and excites us about the work to be done.

___________________

Be Thou My Vision

Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart!

Naught be all else to me save that thou art.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night.

Waking or sleeping thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom, be Thou my true word.

I ever with thee and thou with me, Lord.

Thou my great Father, and I thy true son!

Thou in me dwelling and I with thee one.

Riches I heed not nor man's empty praise,

Thou my inheritance now and always.

Thou and thou only, first in my heart.

High King of heaven, my treasure thou art!

High King of heaven when battle is done,

Grant heaven's joy to me, Bright Heaven's Sun.

Christ of my own heart whatever befall,

Still be my vision thou ruler of all.

Public Domain