Stay here with me

Yesterday’s dawn was not a bright moment for me.  Even as I awakened I felt the grey fog of grief around me like a wet blanket. It was not unexpected! Last week we went through the rituals that followed the death of my father in law. Three of my adult children came for the funeral. I enjoyed having them with me for a few days then they got on airplanes to go home to their families and lives.  And yes, there is the still real ache that is never far away from my heart since Bev died. Sorrow has become an all too familiar friend and she came to visit again.  There is no quick escape, no magic wave of the hand that dismisses grief.  I tried music, I prayed, I walked.  Seeking some kind of solace, I even went to Bev’s gravesite in the afternoon to sit and remember.

When grief comes, she brings an array of emotions along; sadness, anger, loneliness, confusion, restlessness. I know them all. It often introduces temptations to self-indulgent behaviors, childish attempts to misuse money, pleasure, work, food, drink, or other things to momentarily obliterate the pain. Grief must be endured. I believe that it will deepen that person who will allow the emotion of  loss to be felt and acknowledged. My grief has given me the gift of tenderness, causing me to feel the pain of others more readily.  It has made me more thoughtful, less hurried. It has made eternity real, giving me a focus beyond efficient performance of my daily responsibilities. It has made me hunger for God’s Presence with a different kind of intensity. It has made me more honest with myself, understanding my limits, my responses to life, my own fragile state; and I am able to grow in grace.

Grief must not be endured alone!  Jesus, on the night before the Cross, went to the garden to pray. He grieved knowing the horror of the work of bearing the world’s sins, of becoming sin for us. His sorrow was profoundly deeper than any we can know and here is what He said. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” (Matthew 26:38, NIV)  He asked His friends to be with Him, to stand guard as it were, while His eyes were blinded by tears, His heart tore apart by sadness. They failed Him!  He found them unable or unwilling to enter into His sorrow and sleeping while He wept.  There is powerful lesson there for us. 

Walk with others in grief. Choose wise and loving people who will balance you, counsel you, be patient with you, pray for you.  In my sorrow yesterday, I complained and vented a kind of irrational anger. A good and trusted friend gently reminded me that I was ‘in a mood.’  I smiled at the observation which was, in fact, a wise warning to me. I needed someone to hold up a mirror!  Another friend reminded me of hope and remembered loss with me despite the pain it caused for both of us.  If Jesus needed others, we certainly do, too.

Isaiah wrote of God’s Deliverer, inspired to see His love this way. "He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!" (Isaiah 53:3-4, NLT)  There it is …  Our Savior knows our human sorrow in the deepest way and carries us when we are crushed!  We are not weak when we lean on Him. We are not lesser beings when we go to our knees and wait wordlessly for His comfort.  We are just human.

Are you sad today? Is your heart broken by failure? Are you torn up by loss? Have you been rejected?  Does life seem overwhelming or pointless? There is One who knows you better than you know yourself.

Here is a word from the Word about the comfort we can find in Christ Jesus.  May the Spirit make this passage a soothing, healing one for those of us who weep.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us." (2 Corinthians 1:3-7, NLT)

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What a Friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear.

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer.

Oh what peace we often forfeit,

Oh what needless pain we bear.

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer,

In His arms He’ll take and shield thee

Thou will find a solace there.

• Public domain

Get your heart into it!

Passionate people will not stop talking about that ‘thing’ that makes life what it is. Down deep we may admire their commitment, but occasionally we might wonder about their sanity, especially if we do not share their love for whatever that ‘thing’ is. Often their passion makes them hard to get along with, doesn’t it?  Among my friends there are animal rights activists, those into politics (left and right), musicians, artists, pet lovers …  and they all think that everybody needs to care about that thing like they do.  Then, there are those at the other end of the spectrum who have ‘given up’ on life.  “Whatever” they sigh tiredly, apparently bored by it all.  “Been there, done that” is their signature line. They are sad people, just existing.

Whatever you care about or don’t care about, there is one passion that is worthy, that needs to envelope the whole of our lives. Paul expresses it like this - "I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!" (Philippians 3:10-11, NLT)  His devotion to Jesus caused him to travel thousands of miles to talk about the Good News, often with people who just wanted to kill him in response. He endured hardships - rejection, imprisonment, deprivation, shipwreck – not with a moan but with a song.  We catch a glimpse of the passion that owned him; body, soul, heart, and mind, in these words. "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him." (Philippians 3:8-9, NLT)

Which kind of Christ-follower are you; passionate or apathetic?

During the time of my wife’s awful and long terminal illness, when her needs were acute and demanded so much care, more than once people asked, “How do you do it, Jerry? Aren’t you exhausted?”  Of course I was, sometimes so tired that I could not think beyond the next moment. But, my love for her far outweighed any demand she could make. It was a delight to care for her, to carry her to her bed, to comfort her.  Was it hard? Well, sure, but, she was worth it!  Love made any hardship seem insignificant to me.

We can love Jesus with passionate commitment and He is worth it!  Moses called on God’s people to commit themselves. "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts." (Deuteronomy 6:4-6, NIV)  God’s ways needed to go deeper than a few ideas, they needed to be written on their hearts, the center of love.  When asked what was the basic thing that God desires, Jesus referred to those ancient words.  “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’  (Matthew 22:37  The Message )  His love is extended to us, first.  “While we were sinners, Christ died for us,” Paul says. John tells that “God so loved the world that He gave His Son,” to save us!  Can we read those words and shrug? We can, but should not. Rather His love can stir a deep and holy passion in us. Get your heart into it!  Do away with apathetic prayers, feeble efforts, and other affections.  Seek Him.

Here is a word from the Word. "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:16-18, NIV)

Father, I am so thankful that you loved me when I cared nothing for You.

Win my heart again and again, for there are other ‘loves’ that catch my eye from time to time.

Draw my heart to Yours, my affections going beyond words and romanticism.

Give me ‘one pure and holy passion’ to know You, to serve You, and to enjoy Your Presence eternally.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen

The church as convenience store

Just down the road from my house are a couple of small stores where I can buy a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, aspirin, and even gasoline for my car. These small shops are rightly called ‘convenience stores’ because they are nearby, open long hours, and offer basic items for me at my convenience. They often charge higher prices for the same things I could buy at a large supermarket, but I gladly pay the premium!  Are they the place to do serious grocery shopping? No, they are there to fill in the gaps and for that millions of us are grateful when we just need milk at 8 PM.

There are people who treat God’s Church like a convenience store, dropping in when need arises, grabbing a little ‘inspiration,’ asking for a prayer, looking for a moment of pastoral care. They are not looking to create a relationship or become a faithful part of ministry. They are just a consumer of ‘religious goods’ prepared to drop some dollars in the contribution box in return for the assurance that they are on the right side of a God that they do not really know very well.  To borrow a phrase, they are having an ‘adventure in missing the point.’

The best and deepest Christianity requires a mix of several choices;  receiving God’s grace by faith, learning God’s ways through regular study and daily prayer, building relationship with God’s people in the Church, and serving God’s purposes as life’s highest priority.  Being a disciple is not convenient! Jesus teaches us that His call is comprehensive, touching every facet of life, and seeking our full engagement.  “Take up your cross and follow Me,” He said. Think about that. It is not a pretty metaphor. A cross is an instrument of death, not a means of finding one’s personal path of pleasure.  The invitation is to ‘follow,’ not to lead.  His invitation is costly, not convenient, but it comes with great promise.  “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?" (Luke 9:23-25, NLT)

Knowing how quickly human beings will abandon the pursuit of the Holy, Moses warned the ancient Israelis about wandering. God was going to give them blessings, provide abundantly for them.  Would they be grateful, careful to remain devoted to Him?  Read on.  "When God, your God, ushers you into the land he promised through your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to give you, you’re going to walk into large, bustling cities you didn’t build, well-furnished houses you didn’t buy, come upon wells you didn’t dig, vineyards and olive orchards you didn’t plant. When you take it all in and settle down, pleased and content, make sure you don’t forget how you got there—God brought you out of slavery in Egypt. Deeply respect God, your God. Serve and worship him exclusively." (Deuteronomy 6:10-13, The Message) The Bible gives us the history of God’s people that we would learn from them. They did forget the Lord!  Just a couple of generations after they entered the Promised Land, they were compromised with idol worship. When crisis came, they turned back to the Lord and He faithfully loved them, though they suffered for their sin.  Restored to wholeness, they prospered, and wandered again.  The pattern was repeated many times!

Are you treating the things of the Lord like a convenience store?  Do your prayers become fervent, your searching Scripture intense, when some stormy season arrives, only to be laid aside when things level out? There is a better way. He invites us to ‘keep step with the Spirit’ as we practice the daily choice of godliness. We will not always ‘feel’ like worship, prayer, or service. Truthfully, sometimes we will do what we are called to do, not because we love to do it, but because we know He is worthy and it is right. That’s why we call such things ‘spiritual disciplines.’ 

Here is a word from the Word. "So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. “For in just a little while, the Coming One will come and not delay. And my righteous ones will live by faith. But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.” But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved." (Hebrews 10:35-39, NLT)

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Here I Am To Worship

Light of the world

You stepped down into darkness

Opened my eyes let me see

Beauty that made

This heart adore You

Hope of a life spent with You

So here I am to worship

Here I am to bow down

Here I am to say that You're my God

And You're altogether lovely

Altogether worthy

Altogether wonderful to me

Tim Hughes

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