Do you belong?

Christians like to talk about ‘community’ and that is good if they understand what they are saying. Healthy people need to belong, to be ‘in community.’ Belonging is critical to human survival.  There is protection, support, safety, and stablity found in social units. When we connect with others we multiply the results of our efforts.  A loving community provides emotional feedback, both affirming and corrective that helps balance us in our thoughts and actions. 

Community can become toxic as we have seen down through history. Hitler’s influence over Germany united a broken nation after WW1 and his leadership brought death and suffering to millions!  Our contemporary society is seeing a breakdown in authentic community, leading to higher rates of depression and increased loneliness. This comes from our emphasis on privacy and the substitution of virtual ‘connection’ for real relationships.

Dr. Chris Drew defines community as a ‘social unit in which member share a common network.’  He offers examples of several kinds of communities to which we can belong:

*Communities of place – our nation, state, or town;

*Communities of interest – people who enjoy gardening, music, etc.;

*Communities that are based on identity; those who share religious conviction or ethnicity;

*Communities of need- those with disability and/or support groups;  and

* Communities of practice – professional associations such lawyers, doctors, or police.

There is overlap in those groups that make the bond of relationship even stronger.

Christians are called into community by the will of God. It is called ‘the Church!’ 
Going to a building and sitting a church pew does not make a person into a Christian, but those who have experienced the life of the Spirit through Jesus Christ will find the richest, fullest life in God when they engage themselves with other Christians in that living thing called “church.” Are all churches good? No, some are poorly led or controlled by people who are not focused on Christ’s aims. All churches are imperfect because people like you and me (imperfect as we are) are part of them.  But, together, we can grow into maturity, love each other through difficult times, and become a small part of something God has called into being – the Body of Christ.

The wisdom of God teaches us that spiritual leaders  will "equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ, until we come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ. Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." (Ephesians 4:12-15, NLT)

So what builds and strengthens the kind of community that will enrich us for life? In no special order, let’s explore a few.

Commitment is a key.

We want to know that if we put in time with a person, they are not going to abandon us when somebody ‘better’ comes along. Ruth, whose story is told in the book in the Bible that bears her name, went through tragedy, losing her husband. Her mother-in-law, also widowed, decided to return to Israel from Ruth land, Moab.  When the time came for their paths to diverge, Ruth asked to accompany Naomi.  Her words are an amazing declaration of commitment. "Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17, NIV)  How many people have you made that kind of commitment to?  “I’m going to be here for you, share your life ‘til one of us leaves this life!”

Christlikeness must be in evidence!

Jesus is my Lord, my Savior, my Hope. The people that I want closest to me are those who love Him, too! “Spur one another to love and good deeds,” the Bible says. Paul invited those he knew to “Follow me as I follow Christ!”  We need friends who help us keep the right focus, who help us overcome our failures, whose very presence in our lives makes us better people, for God’s sake.

Selflessness is important!

Paul urges us to learn to love each other in a way that wants the best for the other guy. "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." (Philippians 2:1-3, NIV)  Who can form a real and deep attachment to a person who is only interested in himself? It is tiresome to spend much time with a person who we know will always make they take care of themselves first. Real friends are encouraging, listening, loving, taking an interest in us – through the up’s and down’s of life. And, we do the same for them.

Authenticity is of basic importance.

Be the person created you to be and gifted you by His Spirit to become! It’s hard to be a real friend to that person who reinvents himself every other month. Have the confidence to live with yourself, to be who you are, not who you think someone wants you to be. Yes, authenticity is important in lasting friendships.

Resilience matters.

Life is going to get tough, sooner or later, for us all. Death will visit our family. Things will go upside down in our job. Sickness may come. We are attracted to those who do not fold up under the pressure, who do not turn into victims.  Those who are hopeful, who choose authentic joy, who get back up when they are knocked down, inspire us and we want to learn from them.

David gathered friends who stuck with him in the worst times. Those men were willing to go to battle with him, ready to live in exile alongside of him. Why? One of the things that makes David’s life so compelling is his resilience. He fell. He had hard times. But, he also had faith and stood up time and time again. These were not just words for him, they were the declaration of the way he lived in faith. "In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. … Praise be to the Lord, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city. …  Love the Lord, all his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." (Psalm 31:1,21,23-24, NIV)

And, of course, there is LOVE.

In that famed chapter, Paul describes the kind of love that makes friendship what it ought to be. "Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. " (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, The Message)  Not the stuff of a movie romance, is it?  Do you love?

Don’t wait until you’re in crisis to try to connect with community.  Start today to work (yes, that is the word) at engaging and building connections with others. Pray for a place to invest yourself.  Show up, be part.  Make a commitment to your family, your church, your friends. Find those who also love Christ. Serve joyfully. Refuse to play the victim, forgiving, growing, anticipating God’s future for your life. And, friendships will form that will be among your richest resources in this world.

Here is a word from the Word. Lord, inspire us to richer relationships, make us friends in the family of God. "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." (1 John 3:16-18, NLT)

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Friends

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

Can't believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter in your life is through

 

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

'Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

 

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say never

'Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long

To live as friends

 

With the faith and love God's given

Springing from the hope we know

We will pray the joy you'll live in

Is the strength that now you show

 

No a lifetime's not too long to live as friends

 

Deborah D. Smith | Michael W. Smith

© 1982 Meadowgreen Music Company (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

CCLI License # 810055

Foundations

A couple of nights ago, I drove past a stone house in our area, the Shippen Manor, that dates to the era of the Revolutionary War, once owned by a wealthy family from Philadelphia.  It is now a museum, beautifully restored.  As I looked at the home there on the hillside in Oxford, NJ, I wondered what kind of foundation had been dug for it. It must be good for the house stands straight and strong! 

These words of Jesus came to mind.  "I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then obeys me. It is like a person who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who listens and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will crumble into a heap of ruins.” (Luke 6:47-49, NLT)

Most Christians would affirm that Jesus Christ is their foundation, their hope. However, I ask myself, do we really respect His brilliance and conform our day to day choices to His words? Dallas Willard makes this stinging observation: "Far too often, He is taken as a mere icon, a wraithlike semblance of a man living on the margin of 'real' life where you and I must dwell. He is perhaps fit for the role of sacrificial lamb or alienated social critic, but little more." - The Great Omission, Harper, 2006

What kind of wisdom does He offer as the foundation of life? Here are a few examples.

• Jesus tells us to forgive those who offend us. Do we see that as impractical advice or as the wisdom of the perfect Man?

Jesus knows that if we refuse to forgive we pile up relational debts that create all kinds of spiritual, emotional, and even physical problems. His insight into the way we are made causes Him to know that forgiveness is best. So, will we do it?

• Jesus counsels disciples to avoid trusting in accumulations of wealth on earth as security.

He says that we ought to store our wealth in Heaven by investing ourselves in God’s work. (*Do not just think “church work” when you read “God’s work.”  We do God’s work when we care for others, when we practice spiritual disciplines, when we consistently worship, when we pause for meaningful prayer and mediation, just as much as when we take on some role in the Church.) Do we trust that wisdom and put those things in a place of priority or do we set aside that counsel as impractical for this materialistic age?

• Jesus teaches us to love – God and others – selflessly, even at great cost.

This kind of love, He says, pleases the Father and is the foundation of all the rest of our religion. Will we seek to love in that way?

To trust His wisdom as the guide for life is a faith decision.  Making His words our foundation is similar to making a good investment. We do not look for the immediate rich return; we allow the harvest to ripen, to reap the benefits of a life of meaning, hope, purpose, and eternal reward.  Living for Christ, the life of being His follower, is not a get rich quick deal. Honestly, sometimes our own way appears bettter, and may be so in the moment. But, His words are life and are worthy of ultimate respect and obedience.  John reminds us that "In Him was life, and that life was the light of men.. . . From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." (John 1:4,16, NIV)

Just a the quality of the foundation of a building becomes evident in time, so in our lives the foundational wisdom by which we live will reveal itself in time

Here is a word from the Word.  Read it a couple of times thoughtfully and do a check on the foundation on which you are building your life.  "By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." (1 Corinthians 3:10-15, NIV)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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Jesus Firm Foundation

How firm a foundation you saints of the Lord

Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word

What more can He say than to you He has said

To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled

 

Fear not He is with us O be not dismayed

For He is our God our Sustainer and Strength

He'll be our Defender and cause us to stand

Upheld by His merciful almighty hand

 

How firm our foundation

How sure our salvation

And we will not be shaken

Jesus firm foundation

 

The soul that is trusting in Jesus as Lord

Will press on enduring the darkest of storm

And though even hell should endeavor to shake

He'll never no never no never forsake

He'll never no never no never forsake

 

Age to age He stands faithful to the end

All may fade away but He will remain

He will remain

 

Bryan Brown | Jason Ingram | Tony Wood

© 2012 worshiptogether.com songs; All Essential Music; Open Hands Music; So Essential Tunes; Songs From Exit 71

CCLI License # 810055

What did you say?

Today you will say between 6,000 and 15,000 words! Words, on average, spill out of us at the rate of about 100 to 150 per minute. Much of what we say is of little consequence, just making the way through the day.  “Fill it with regular, please,” we NJ residents say to the attendant at the fuel pump. (The rest of you will have to pump your own gas.) “Six creams, no sugar,” is my order at the coffee shop. “Hi, nice day, isn’t it?” we remark to the person getting out the car next to ours in the parking lot, as a polite nod to them. 

Then, there are those words of deep meaning – “Tell me about it, I really do care” – is weighted with concern.  The simple phrase “I love you” when spoken from the heart bathes us with comfort. When I know it is a sincere promise I love to hear these words – “I’m praying for you.”

So how are you using your gift of words?

You can enhance someone’s reputation with a single sentence
and, just as quickly, cast a dark shadow. 

You can encourage someone who is crushed by sorrow.

You can point someone along the way with wise words.

You can break a heart with cruel words.

You can bring light to darkness with truthful words.

With a little shift in tone or choice of adjectives we can turn a suspicion into an accusation. A reputation built over a lifetime can be destroyed overnight. A friendship can be ripped apart with just a phrase. A church can be sent into division with a couple of half-truths. 

James, pastor of First Church in Jerusalem teaches us the power of those words in our mouth. "We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire." (James 3:2-5, NLT)

Our words can do great good.

 A coach’s words can inspire a team to victory! 
A leader with vision can paint a picture of the future
for those who listen using only words.  
A friend can speak just the right word to us
at the point of our quitting and spur us to finish the job!

The Proverb says these words are like beautiful jewelry, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11 (NIV) 

Christian, let’s go beyond just being 'nice' or ‘clean’ in our words.  Yes, of course, we need to guard against profance, filthy, or damning words when we speak. That’s a no brainer.  When the Spirit of God is invited to live in us, transforming us on the inside, what comes of our mouth will be soul nourishing, truthful, encouraging, loving, and edifying to others.  

We cannot just put a gate at our lips, we ask God to make the source pure and to give us self-awareness and self-control. Jesus says this: "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him." (Matthew 12:34-35, NIV)  When we are filled with the Spirit what overflows from us will be a 'river of living water!'   Oh yes, our words are the great revealers of the content of our heart, no question about it.

Christ’s challenge to us does not mean that we must always say nice, positive, affirming things. Ever had to deal with a person whose insincerity is evident?  It is soon clear that they do not really mean what they are saying. It’s an act, a script, a phony front that will collapse under a bit of pressure. 

Check your words today.  If you find self-interest, gossip, half-truths, innuendo, and criticism popping up in those 15,000 words you speak, go to the Lord. Confess the sin and seek the change.  Ask Him for a heart that is filled with truth and love so that the words you speak will be the same. This is the command of the Lord- "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 NIV

The word from the Word is my  prayer.  Is it yours?

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14 (NIV)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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Wonderful Words Of Life

Sing them over again to me
Wonderful words of life
Let me more of their beauty see
Wonderful words of life
Words of life and beauty
Teach me faith and duty

Beautiful words wonderful words
Wonderful words of life
Beautiful words wonderful words
Wonderful words of life

Christ the blessed One gives to all
Wonderful words of life
Sinner list’ to the loving call
Wonderful words of life
All so freely given
Wooing us to Heaven

Beautiful words wonderful words
Wonderful words of life
Beautiful words wonderful words
Wonderful words of life

Sweetly echo the gospel call
Wonderful words of life
Offer pardon and peace to all
Wonderful words of life
Jesus only Savior
Sanctify forever

Beautiful words wonderful words
Wonderful words of life
Beautiful words wonderful words
Wonderful words of life

Philip Paul Bliss Public Domain