Christians like to talk about ‘community’ and that is good if they understand what they are saying. Healthy people need to belong, to be ‘in community.’ Belonging is critical to human survival. There is protection, support, safety, and stablity found in social units. When we connect with others we multiply the results of our efforts. A loving community provides emotional feedback, both affirming and corrective that helps balance us in our thoughts and actions.
Community can become toxic as we have seen down through history. Hitler’s influence over Germany united a broken nation after WW1 and his leadership brought death and suffering to millions! Our contemporary society is seeing a breakdown in authentic community, leading to higher rates of depression and increased loneliness. This comes from our emphasis on privacy and the substitution of virtual ‘connection’ for real relationships.
Dr. Chris Drew defines community as a ‘social unit in which member share a common network.’ He offers examples of several kinds of communities to which we can belong:
*Communities of place – our nation, state, or town;
*Communities of interest – people who enjoy gardening, music, etc.;
*Communities that are based on identity; those who share religious conviction or ethnicity;
*Communities of need- those with disability and/or support groups; and
* Communities of practice – professional associations such lawyers, doctors, or police.
There is overlap in those groups that make the bond of relationship even stronger.
Christians are called into community by the will of God. It
is called ‘the Church!’
Going to a building
and sitting a church pew does not make a person into a Christian, but those who
have experienced the life of the Spirit through Jesus Christ will find the richest,
fullest life in God when they engage themselves with other Christians in that
living thing called “church.” Are all churches good? No, some are poorly led or
controlled by people who are not focused on Christ’s aims. All churches are
imperfect because people like you and me (imperfect as we are) are part of
them. But, together, we can grow into maturity,
love each other through difficult times, and become a small part of something
God has called into being – the Body of Christ.
The wisdom of God teaches us that spiritual leaders will "equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ, until we come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ. Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." (Ephesians 4:12-15, NLT)
So what builds and strengthens the kind of community that
will enrich us for life? In no special order, let’s explore a few.
Commitment is a key.
We want to know that if we put in time with a person, they are not going to abandon us when somebody ‘better’ comes along. Ruth, whose story is told in the book in the Bible that bears her name, went through tragedy, losing her husband. Her mother-in-law, also widowed, decided to return to Israel from Ruth land, Moab. When the time came for their paths to diverge, Ruth asked to accompany Naomi. Her words are an amazing declaration of commitment. "Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17, NIV) How many people have you made that kind of commitment to? “I’m going to be here for you, share your life ‘til one of us leaves this life!”
Christlikeness must be in evidence!
Jesus is my Lord, my Savior, my Hope. The people that I want closest to me are
those who love Him, too! “Spur one another to love and good deeds,” the
Bible says. Paul invited those he knew to “Follow me as I follow Christ!” We need friends who help us keep the right
focus, who help us overcome our failures, whose very presence in our lives
makes us better people, for God’s sake.
Selflessness is important!
Paul urges us to learn to love each other in a way that wants the best for the
other guy. "If you have any encouragement from being united with
Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any
tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of
selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than
yourselves." (Philippians 2:1-3, NIV)
Who can form a real and deep attachment to a person who is only
interested in himself? It is tiresome to spend much time with a person who we
know will always make they take care of themselves first. Real friends are
encouraging, listening, loving, taking an interest in us – through the up’s and
down’s of life. And, we do the same for them.
Authenticity is of basic importance.
Be the person created you to be and gifted you by His Spirit to become! It’s
hard to be a real friend to that person who reinvents himself every other month.
Have the confidence to live with yourself, to be who you are, not who you think
someone wants you to be. Yes, authenticity is important in lasting friendships.
Resilience matters.
Life is going to get tough, sooner or later, for us all.
Death will visit our family. Things will go upside down in our job. Sickness
may come. We are attracted to those who do not fold up under the pressure, who
do not turn into victims. Those who are
hopeful, who choose authentic joy, who get back up when they are knocked down,
inspire us and we want to learn from them.
David gathered friends who stuck
with him in the worst times. Those men were willing to go to battle with him,
ready to live in exile alongside of him. Why? One of the things that makes
David’s life so compelling is his resilience. He fell. He had hard times. But,
he also had faith and stood up time and time again. These were not just words
for him, they were the declaration of the way he lived in faith. "In
you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in
your righteousness. … Praise be to the Lord, for he showed his wonderful love
to me when I was in a besieged city. …
Love the Lord, all his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful, but the
proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the
Lord." (Psalm 31:1,21,23-24, NIV)
And, of course, there is LOVE.
In that famed chapter, Paul describes the kind of love that makes friendship
what it ought to be. "Love never gives up. Love cares more for others
than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me
first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never
looks back, But keeps going to the end. " (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, The
Message) Not the stuff of a movie
romance, is it? Do you love?
Don’t wait until you’re in crisis to try to connect with community. Start today to work (yes, that is the word) at engaging and building connections with others. Pray for a place to invest yourself. Show up, be part. Make a commitment to your family, your church, your friends. Find those who also love Christ. Serve joyfully. Refuse to play the victim, forgiving, growing, anticipating God’s future for your life. And, friendships will form that will be among your richest resources in this world.
Here is a word from the Word. Lord, inspire us to richer relationships, make us friends in the family of God. "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." (1 John 3:16-18, NLT)
___________
Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends
With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
No a lifetime's not too long to live as friends
Deborah D. Smith | Michael W. Smith
© 1982 Meadowgreen Music Company (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)
CCLI License # 810055
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