What I do to deserve this?

Irene, my mother in law, had surgery yesterday. I accompanied her to the hospital. As we waited in the OR preparation area, I experienced flashbacks to Bev’s first trip down that road nearly two years ago. The whole scene - IV’s, nurses, beeping monitors, and smells - kicked up memories, most not pleasant.  

Last night, in spite of my best efforts, I found myself hacking my way out of a jungle of tangled thoughts – regrets, questions, sadness, longings, and fears.  I wondered if we could have done something different that would have allowed her to live.  Did I serve her well?  I wondered, where was God? What did she/I do to deserve this? And yes, I even questioned Him – “Are You there, do you even care?”

Such thinking is common among those dealing with loss. We want explanations. Finding causes is important, too, because if we know why it happened, we can avoid the pain by eliminating or at least minimizing that thing. But, our questions often go unanswered, our search for causes are fruitless. Bev’s cancer did not come because she smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day, or because she drank to excess, or because she failed to take care of her body. She took care of herself, much more than I did, and yet cancer randomly selected her body. Why, God, did You allow this?  Life appears to be a tragic comedy, a brave but futile fight with random events- accidents, stray bullets, drunk drivers, and cancer cells that overtake healthy ones.

Faith has steadied me today. Trust has quieted the storms in my heart even though questions remain. My musings followed these paths.

When Job’s life descended into horrific loss, his friends showed up to comfort him. His suffering was so stunning that the Bible says they sat for days without speaking!  Then, one by one, they blamed Job! “It’s your fault. Admit your hidden sin. You must have done something to cause God to allow this.”  There just had to be a reason. There was, but it was not Job’s sin that caused his pain. It was God’s trust in him which allowed him to go to Hell. We get to see behind the scenes and understand that the ‘random’ events that tore up Job’s life were allowed as part of a cosmic argument between God and Satan. Job survived and faithfully held onto God through it all.

On more than one occasion Jesus’ friends saw something terrible happening and blamed the sufferer.  Of a man who was born blind they asked, “Who sinned, him or his parents?”  Jesus told them they were looking in the wrong place for answers. “This occurred so that God could get glory,” He said before He healed the man. In another passage, the disciples have apparently questioned why Pilate killed several people while they were worshiping and why some had died when a tower collapsed on them. Jesus does not explain but He warns about adopting a worldview that includes direct ‘cause and effect’ reasoning, that concludes that we are in the grip of karma! "About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple. “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered? Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.” (Luke 13:1-5, NLT)  From His words we learn that things happen that we cannot explain and that the important issue for us is our relationship to God, today.

Faith informs me that my life is part of a Plan that extended from long before I was born to long after I will die. The events that seem so random to me today will find a place in the eternal purposes of God, so I must trust Him. The great and wonderful recurring declaration of the Scripture is that God is a Redeemer, One who weaves the dark threads of my sorrow into the tapestry of life and makes something beautiful and whole. Will that happen today or tomorrow? Maybe not.  Bev’s death may never make much sense to me until I, too, become a resident of Heaven.  But, meanwhile, I know that I am not ‘getting what I deserve,’ (karma) I am a recipient of great grace. (the glory of Christian hope)

Joseph, the young son of Israel, who had vivid dreams of being used of God, found himself in one terrible situation after another. His jealous brothers sold him into slavery, ripping him away from his family and home.  His master’s wife falsely accused him of rape and he endured years in an Egyptian prison.  Men he helped along the way promised to help him and promptly forgot all about him. But, eventually all those ‘random’ circumstances came together to land him in a place as Prime Minister, a position he used to save his family.  His life was dark with sorrow for decades, but all those tragic chapters were leading to an amazing conclusion, which Joseph made possible by continuing to trust God and acting responsibly even in the most awful moments.

Will I trust Him? 
Will I remain faithful, steady in choosing obedience? 
Will I let go of the questions and demands for reasons?
By God’s grace, yes! How about you?

Make this word from the Word your song, your prayer this day. If you are walking on mountaintops, rejoice in His mercies. If you are in the dark valley, rejoice in His mercies. Wait on the Lord!

"Look at these wicked people— enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply. Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?" (Psalm 73:12-13, NLT)
"Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.  

Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do." (Psalm 73:20-28, NLT)

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I Surrender All

All to Jesus, I surrender;All to Him I freely give.I will ever love and trust HimIn His presence daily live. 

All to Jesus, I surrender;Make me Savior wholly Thine.Let me feel the Holy Spirit,Truly know that Thou art mine. 

All to Jesus, I surrender;Lord, I give myself to Thee.Fill me with Thy love and powerLet Thy blessing fall on me.

 I surrender all!I surrender all!All to Thee, my blessed Savior,I surrender all!

Judson Wheeler Van DeVenter | Winfield Scott Weeden  © Words: Public Domain

Love Jesus or Jesus' Stuff?

Imagine a woman who says, “I love my husband” and thinks she means it. Then, suddenly he becomes gravely ill, his source of income dries up, his strength to care for their home lost. And she realizes that she loved the things of marriage more than the man she was married to!  

Do you love being a Christian more than you love Jesus? The question is not an easy one for some of us to answer because we have wrapped so many obligations, acts of service, even rituals around our Christianity.  If suddenly all your church activities were taken away from you, would you still love Jesus? If you could no longer take Communion, join others in Christian gatherings, do Bible studies, enjoy worship gatherings, or even carry on your work among the poor, kids, or wherever– would you still love Him?  I believe that many who think they love Jesus are really more attached to the things associated with Him.

When Jesus came into Peter’s life the interaction recorded in Luke’s Gospel is compelling.  Simon (Peter’s name before Jesus changed it) finished a long night of fishing with nothing to show for his efforts.  Along comes Jesus needing a way to speak to the crowds, so he asks to use Simon’s boat and preaches from it as it is anchored a few feet from the shoreline.  Simon listened as he cleaned his nets. After the sermon Jesus tells Simon to fish a little more! "Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”  It’s a grudging accommodation of Jesus’ request, but what happens next gets the fishermen’s attention!   

“When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.”  It is fascinating to me that Jesus used what Simon knew to shake his world.  He knew fish and that there were none to be had, until Jesus brought about a miraculous catch.  Suddenly the fisherman was not just around a famous rabbi, he was in the Presence of Mystery and it terrified him. What might this man reveal about him?  But, Jesus is not finished.  Mark tells us that He said “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” (Mark 1:17, NLT)  Luke’s narrative says, “Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him." (Luke 5:1-11, NIV)

He called Simon first to Himself! “Come, follow Me!”  The relationship preceded the work, the connection primary over function. Jesus wanted Peter to know Him before he tried to charge off to do work for Him. And He still desires the same of us. That is not to say that doing good works, having church, or serving others in His Name is unimportant.  Churches can serve a great purpose of providing focus, organization, teaching, stability, and a place to pool resources of money and spiritual gifts. But, sometimes all the ‘church’ happens without any real love for Jesus! The organization and her goals become more important than the One whose mission they are to carry on.

Another person in the New Testament learned the lesson of love from Jesus. Martha enjoyed having Jesus in her home and when He visited she was a great host, but her desire to make a great dinner for Him was causing her to miss out on really getting to know Him!  When she whined about her lazy sister sitting at Jesus’ feet soaking up His Presence, He did not commend her hard work! He invited her to choose to love first! “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”   (Luke 10:41-42)

So, let me ask you again – do you love being a Christian more than you love Christ?  
Have you responded to His call to love Him?  From a passion for Him is your calling empowered, sustained, and full of grace?

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Passion For Jesus

I'm calling out to You,There must be something more;Some deeper place to find,Some secret place to hide,Where I've not gone before.

 Where my soul is satisfiedAnd my sin is put to death,And I can hear Your voice,Your purpose is my choiceAs natural as a breath!

 The love I knew before- When You first touched my life-I need You to restore,I want You to revive.

 Would you place in my heartA passion for Jesus,A hunger that seizes,My passion for You?My one desire,My greatest possession,My only confession,My passion for You!

Brian Houston © 1999 Thankyou Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

CCLI License # 810055

Hard, Superficial, Weedy, or Fruitful?

I visited Lisa’s garden last summer. What a sight to see! It was a thing of beauty, carefully planted, faithfully tended. Though I am no gardener I can tell you one thing for certain, that plot of a land reflected both intention and effort. It did not ‘just happen.’  Seeds were planted and tended. The seedlings were nurtured to growth with watering and weeding.  And, all that work produced food for the Keenan’s table that is still being enjoyed this winter.

Your life is a garden. God’s word is the seed. Is that seed growing and bearing fruit? There are beautiful Christians whose lives are like Lisa’s garden, bountiful with the life of the Spirit and there are those who are nearly fruitless. Jesus’ story gives us a clue about why.  “A farmer went out to plant his seed. As he scattered it across his field, some seed fell on a footpath, where it was stepped on, and the birds ate it. Other seed fell among rocks. It began to grow, but the plant soon wilted and died for lack of moisture. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the tender plants. Still other seed fell on fertile soil. This seed grew and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted!” When he had said this, he called out, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” (Luke 8:5-8, NLT)  We could conclude, from Jesus’ story, that the growth depends on circumstances beyond our control. Reading it that way misses the point.  He is asking us to consider the state of our heart and mind towards the Word of God!

Each one of us is receiving the ‘seed of the Word’ and we create a place for it with the choices we make.  Jesus is not just talking about the first hearing of the Gospel. His story is about how we accept and tend the Word of God in the garden of our life. When the Spirit speaks to me today, where will that ‘seed’ fall? When I pick up the Scripture to study it, what kind of reception will those words find in me?

Jesus explained his parable. “This story is about some of those people. The seed is the Word of God. The seeds on the road are those who hear the Word, but no sooner do they hear it than the Devil snatches it from them so they won’t believe and be saved. “The seeds in the gravel are those who hear with enthusiasm, but the enthusiasm doesn’t go very deep. It’s only another fad, and the moment there’s trouble it’s gone. “And the seed that fell in the weeds—well, these are the ones who hear, but then the seed is crowded out and nothing comes of it as they go about their lives worrying about tomorrow, making money, and having fun. “But the seed in the good earth—these are the good-hearts who seize the Word and hold on no matter what, sticking with it until there’s a harvest." (Luke 8:11-15, The Message)

• Will I have a heart as hard as a well-traveled footpath, one that refuses His Word?  Will my preconceptions, prejudice, or pride prevent the Word from germinating in me?
• Will I have a heart that is only superficially concerned with spiritual matters? Will I confine my reflection and prayers to issues of self-interest? When the Word challenges me to deep change or leads me to a place of transformation, will I choose to lose myself in diversions and pleasures so that the first response is lost?
• Will I have a heart that is ungoverned, a weed patch of competing concerns and interests?  Will I get so distracted by my daily responsibilities in this temporal world that the Word cannot find a way to grow in me? When I pray, or serve, or read the Bible will my mind be cluttered with thoughts about work, plans, people? 
• Or, will I have a heart that is carefully prepared, ready to receive, cultivated with regular and faithful practices of spiritual disciplines that invite the Spirit’s nurture which is like sun and water to a garden?

Everybody loves the produce of a well-tended garden, don’t they?  But, fewer want the hours of labor in the sun that keep the soil fertile and make it fruitful!  We are spoiled by our markets where we can go and pick up a beautiful piece of fruit for a couple of bucks. We tend to think that we get spiritual fruit in the same way; buying a book, attending a seminar, enjoying another’s spirituality vicariously.  But, real and lasting fruit, beautifully whole lives in the Spirit, result from daily gardening! 

Is your life a fruitful place bountiful with the life of God’s Spirit? Are you growing in His grace, receiving the Word, listening, learning, obeying?  Jesus says the key is relationship that is ongoing!  Here is a word from the Word. “Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me. “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing." (John 15:4-5, The Message)

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Holy Spirit

There's nothing worth more that will ever come closeNo thing can compare You're our living hopeYour Presence

I've tasted and seen of the sweetest of lovesWhere my heart becomes free and my shame is undoneIn Your Presence Lord

 Holy Spirit You are welcome hereCome flood this place and fill the atmosphereYour glory God is what our hearts long forTo be overcome by Your Presence Lord(Your Presence Lord)(Oh God how we love Your Presence Lord)

Let us become more aware of Your PresenceLet us experience the glory of Your goodness (Lord)

 Bryan Torwalt | Katie Torwalt
© 2011 Capitol CMG Genesis (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)
Jesus Culture Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)  CCLI License # 810055

Knowing the times

What do you think of the doctrine of the Second Coming of Christ?  Do you think of the Promise often or even at all?  In my youth, the thought of the imminent return of Jesus was a consistent theme.  Forty years ago, I was convinced that I would never become an old man, such was my anticipation of His return.  Some preachers set dates and those days arrived with no world shaking event! And, gradually, at least for me, the doctrine faded into a place at the edge of my mind; something I know and believe but not with the same kind of fervor of days past. Somehow, perhaps it is age, or more likely because of death’s visits to my family in the last few years, I am renewing my faith in this anchor doctrine of the Church. Christ’s return is my hope. It is yours?

Paul wrote to the first generation of Christians who were being taught that they had missed out, that Jesus had already returned. He said that their fear was baseless. "Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers, not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by some prophecy, report or letter supposed to have come from us, saying that the day of the Lord has already come. Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction. He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God. Don’t you remember that when I was with you I used to tell you these things? And now you know what is holding him back, so that he may be revealed at the proper time. For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way." (2 Thessalonians 2:1-7, NIV)

The return of Jesus will be preceded by a surge of evil, a rebellion against God and Truth, led by ‘the man of lawlessness,’ the same man that John names ‘the Anti-Christ.’  As Paul notes, the rebellion is already happening; part of human sinfulness, but in the last days of history as we know it,  this evil will escalate to unprecedented levels as a Rebel Leader takes God’s place and becomes the false god of humanity. John’s Revelation calls this deceived ‘the beast’ and says that his evil is unimaginable, his authority coming directly from the Devil himself.  "The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise his authority for forty-two months. He opened his mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven. He was given power to make war against the saints and to conquer them. And he was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation." (Revelation 13:5-7, NIV)

For some Christians such language is simply beyond belief.  But, God has given us these glimpses of the future so that we can be aware and anchored in our hope! Christ’s Return will be the day of triumph, the day when His longed for reign is fully revealed, the day of vindication for all who have loved and served Him. We must not set that Hope aside, forgetting it because some have mis-taught the truth about Him, or because our faith is fatigued by what seems to be a long delay in fulfillment. "For you know quite well that the day of the Lord’s return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night. When people are saying, “Everything is peaceful and secure,” then disaster will fall on them as suddenly as a pregnant woman’s labor pains begin. And there will be no escape. But you aren’t in the dark about these things, dear brothers and sisters, and you won’t be surprised when the day of the Lord comes like a thief. For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night. So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded. … let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation." (1 Thessalonians 5:2-8, NLT)

If you are asking, “Jerry, how can you still believe such things? It’s been two thousand years of promises.”  I would point you to Peter’s words that assure us that God is faithful to do what He says He will do! "I want you to remember what the holy prophets said long ago and what our Lord and Savior commanded through your apostles. Most importantly, I want to remind you that in the last days scoffers will come, mocking the truth and following their own desires. They will say, “What happened to the promise that Jesus is coming again? From before the times of our ancestors, everything has remained the same since the world was first created.” . . . But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." (2 Peter 3:2-9, NLT)

Renew the Hope! Christ will return, and when He comes, sin and evil will be defeated; those dead resurrected, those alive transformed; His kingdom come. Wonderful? Absolutely! Hard to believe? Yes, it is. The Word of God? Yes, and our blessed Hope. 

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Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending

Lo, He comes with clouds descending,

Once for favored sinners slain.

Thousand, thousand saints attending,

Swell the triumph of His train.

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia,

God appears on earth to reign!

Every eye shall now behold Him,

Robed in glorious majesty.

Those who set at naught and sold Him,

Pierced and nailed Him to the tree,

Deeply wailing, Deeply wailing, Deeply wailing,

Shall their true Messiah see.

Those dear tokens of His passion,

Still His dazzling body bears.

Cause of endless exultation,

To His ransomed worshippers,

With what rapture, With what rapture, With what rapture,

Gaze we on those glorious scars.

Yea, Amen, let all adore Thee,

High on Thine eternal throne!

Savior, take the power and glory,

Claim the kingdom for Thine own.

Come Lord Jesus. Come Lord Jesus. Come Lord Jesus.

Everlasting God, come down!

Charles Wesley © Words: Public Domain

Junk or Treasure, Clutter or Beauty?

Do you keep a lot of stuff? Mostly I like to clean up, discard, keeping life lean and clean.  There is a program on A&E called Hoarders. It is simply mind-boggling to see the trash and filth that some people allow to accumulate. And, most sadly, some of those people, when presented with the choice, will choose their trash over family and friends. Hoarders have a misplaced sense of value and because of some trigger in their thinking cannot discard old newspapers, broken appliances, or even things like empty bottles.

Perhaps you do not hold onto stuff, but are thoughts, habits, and guilt cluttering up your mind, making the full life of Christ something you can only wish to own?  In Ephesians Paul writes- "...everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it!" (4:22, The Message) Don’t rush through these lines. Think carefully! What fills up the rooms in that home called your heart? Is the memory room stuffed with yesterday's regrets and old grudges? Is the treasure room filled floor to ceiling with dusty relics of past accomplishments that mean little today? Are habits that hinder your walk with Christ Jesus piled high in the living room? Here's the hard question - why are you hanging onto those things?  Do you still love them? The familiar things are a source of comfort and many of us hold onto those things because we cannot grasp the security and joy that can be found in God’s Spirit.

After cataloging the ‘junk’ of sin, the Lord says, "Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11, NLT) The process of gaining the new life in Christ is a one in which we must gladly participate. He will not take away the old stuff unless we invite Him. We work with Him in the, "spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God’s likeness—righteous, holy, and true." (Ephesians 4:23-24, NLT) God, the Holy Spirit, will give us a vision for the future, a glimpse of what we can become in Christ that allows us to let go of the stuff that has defined us in the past.  But, like those poor people afflicted with hoarding, there is a moment when we have to let go of the junk in order to own the treasure!  And, that step demands real faith.

We cannot claim to love God – with heart, soul, and spirit – if we are stubbornly clinging to bitterness, lust, materialism, pride, or self-righteousness. Where old habits that we know offend God continue to hold us, we can only come to one conclusion -  we love them still. However, when we admit that our affections are misplaced and stop offering up excuses, God will lead us to victory and freedom. The process will be painful and hard. But, what beauty emerges as we become new creations. "Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! ... How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God. … So leave the corruption and compromise; leave it for good,” says God. “Don’t link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for myself. I’ll be a Father to you; you’ll be sons and daughters to me.” The Word of the Master, God." (2 Corinthians 5:17,21, 6:17-18, The Message)

In a few weeks, many of us will embark on spring cleaning.  The Springtime will be a reminder to sort, clean, and discard.

How about a thorough clean up in our hearts and minds?

Invite God, the Spirit, to lead you through the rooms in your heart house. Let Him remove the clutter and junk that keeps Him from moving in. "Now, the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, he gives freedom. ... And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." (2 Corinthians 3:17-18, NLT)

Father, on this new day, give me insight to see

where I am hanging onto junk that keeps me from owning treasure.

Make my life a thing of beauty, radiant with true holiness.

Help me to carry the clutter of sin, the junk of guilt, the refuse of ungodly habits to the Cross.

Fill my life with real treasure – that of eternal value.

Jesus let Your radiance shine from my life today.
Spirit of God, lead me, make me wise, and fill me with Your Presence.

Amen

____________________

Beautiful Things

All this pain-

I wonder if I'll ever find my way?

I wonder if my life could really change,

At all?

All this earth,

Could all that is lost ever be found?

Could a garden come up from this ground,

At all?

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of the dust.

You make beautiful things,

You make beautiful things out of us.

All around,

Hope is springing up from this old ground!

Out of chaos life is being found,

In You!

You make me new
You are making me new

You make me new

You are making me new

Lisa Gungor | Michael Gungor

© 2009 worshiptogether.com songs (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

CCLI License # 810055