A Sure Path to Unhappiness

“Compared to him, I feel worthless.”  “She is so beautiful, I’m ugly.”  “If only I had his opportunities in life, I know I would do better.”  And so it goes for those who look around and compare themselves or their lives with those of others. Rates of anxiety and depression in teens doubled in just one decade with 1 in 3 girls reporting that they have actively thought about suicide!  This is a direct result of social media lets kids ‘look’ at the images created by others, comparing themselves. Yes, teens and young adults have always measured their achievement and worth by comparison to their peers, but the pool was much smaller before the arrival of the smartphone that connects us to the world, literally. It is not just a kid’s problem, either. Many adults struggle to find contentment in life because they do not think they ‘measure up’ to the accomplishments of others.  

Christian, are you content to be the person God made you to be, using the gifts that God gave you?  That is a tough question, isn’t it?

Jesus told a story about God’s rewards for the faithful. The story is not about equality, surprisingly enough to us. The owner of the estate entrusted his employees with portions of his wealth while he was away for a long time. "He gave five bags of gold to one, two bags of gold to another, and one bag of gold to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities—and then left on his trip. The servant who received the five bags of gold began immediately to invest the money and soon doubled it. The servant with two bags of gold also went right to work and doubled the money. But the servant who received the one bag of gold dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money for safekeeping." (Matthew 25:15-18, NLT)   

When the owner returned he rewarded the first two equally, though one had provided significantly more gain than the other. Why? The answer is found in these words:   “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount.”  He found them faithful, their efforts applied to the excellence!

But, then there is the sad story of the other guy.  He came in offering excuses, reminding the owner of his high standards, holding up the dirty bag of gold, claiming at least he had kept it safe. He received a scathing condemnation, ‘wicked and lazy.’  He had not be faithful, even to his lesser abilities.  Then there is this conclusion that Jesus gives - "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who are unfaithful, even what little they have will be taken away." (Matthew 25:29, NLT)

All of God’s children are gifted children, not necessarily with IQ’s of 140 or great physical strength. He gives us the life of the Spirit, restoring us to our right heritage as His children through Christ Jesus. Then, that same Spirit enables us to give, serve, lead, show compassion, be craftsmen, teach, pray, share the love of God with others, speak with wisdom, offer insight --- the list is long! Here is the call to you and to me: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10, NIV)  God does NOT expect you to be Billy Graham or Mother Teresa. He desires the best of you, offered to Him in faithfulness.

Comparing ourselves and our successes to those of others frequently leads to another terrible thing- the inability to rejoice in their successes.  The man who enjoys a flourishing business ‘must be a crook to make that much money.’  The pastor who leads a large church ‘can’t be teaching the real Gospel.’  And on and on it goes!  We can be deceived to think that by tearing another down we lift ourselves up.  Jesus forbade that. “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged." (Matthew 7:1-2, NLT)  Judging and criticizing another’s life will inevitably turn us into mean and ugly people, bereft of happiness  and contentment.

The pathway to contentment is found in pleasing God;  looking up, not around. Comparison is not even reasonable. None of us has exactly the same experiences, backgrounds, or advantages. We cannot hope to replicate the life of anyone else nor should we expect anyone to replicate ours. God knows and loves each one of us as unique persons.  God’s grace finds us in our sin and is sufficient to lead us to a place where we can be who He wants us to be.  You are not valuable because your body is some ‘ideal’ size, because you drive a certain car, have an Ivy League degree, or live in a home straight out of Good Housekeeping.  God does not care if you are a professional or a laborer, rich or poor. He desires faithfulness to His calling and excellence in the use of His gifts and our opportunities.

Are  you comparing?
Are you trying hard to achieve some ideal based on another’s life?
Are you craving the approval and applause of friends?  You will be unhappy! Thankfulness will elude you because those goals are a mirage, always out there on the horizon: shimmering, beautiful, and elusive.

Here is wisdom from the Word, a sure way to be joyful thankful.  Read it, believe it, and – by God’s grace – live it. 

"If you are wise and understand God’s ways, live a life of steady goodness so that only good deeds will pour forth. And if you don’t brag about the good you do, then you will be truly wise!

But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your hearts, don’t brag about being wise. That is the worst kind of lie. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and motivated by the Devil. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." (James 3:13-18, NLT)

Choose to be thankful.
Change your life to meet God’s call.
Be thankful.
Contentment will be your blessing.

(Video of this blog at this link)

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Find Us Faithful

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us
Line the way
Cheering on the faithful
Encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament
To God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great
A cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race
Not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us
Find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion
Light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live
Inspire them to obey (to obey)
(Oh may all who come behind us)
(Find us faithful)

After all our hopes and dreams
Have come and gone
And our children sift through all
We've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the mem'ries they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

 

Find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us
Find us faithful

Jon Mohr © 1987 Birdwing Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

Jonathan Mark Music (Admin. by Gaither Copyright Management)

CCLI License # 810055

Selfish?

I watched a documentary about a well-known celebrity, actor, politician in which the word “I” was prominent. The person proudly declared how hearing a thousand people chanting his name was his dream from childhood. He was born in an off the main road town and became world-renowned by the age of 21. There is no doubt that his drive and intensity produced the results he wanted, but is that all life is about?  Is it just our trophies, our record of achievement, the number of people who speak our name, the measure of success?

Jesus calls us to a different way of living, one that He demonstrated in His own life. "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose or forfeit your own soul in the process?" (Luke 9:23-25, NLT)  How quickly I nod in agreement but when I really stop to think about that call, the challenge is clear.  

Honestly, I take care of Jerry!  There is always a current of self-interest flowing through me. Some of that is healthy. A person who hates themselves becomes a wreck, often doing damage to people around them, too.  Failing to take care of one’s self – bathing, eating, interacting with others properly - is a sign of mental distress.

However, when we turn healthy care of our body and soul into a self-centered worship of “Me, Myself, and I”  insisting that "the world owes me happiness" our lives become ugly. We become parasites that rob life from others, stealing their sunshine, grabbing every larger slices of life to feed Self.  The evidence of this imbalance is abundant in our present culture. “I gotta be me” is said without a hint of shame. Commitments take a back seat to “what makes me feel good now.”  Loyalty is rare. Duty has become a kind of curse word.

Living for self is natural when one does not know and love God. After all, life is short. If it comes down to how much happiness we can enjoy for the 7 or 8 decades we live under the sun, Self must be served.

Christian, we know that there is more than that to our existence. By faith we see over the horizon of time and into eternity. That is why Jesus’ call to die to Self makes sense. We are investing our lives and in the process finding a richer, fuller life than we can naturally imagine.  In Matthew 25, we catch a glimpse of the promise. "Then the King will say to those on the right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?’

 And the King will tell them, ‘I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’" (Matthew 25:34-40, NLT)

Are you one of those Christians who has bought into a 'gospel of self-enhancement?’ (McLaren)  We are tempted to rewrite the Scripture’s declaration that "God loves the world" into "God loves ME and wants ME to be happy!” Truthfully,  Jesus did not come to give us the ability to become more healthy, more wealthy, and more happy than our neighbors. In the process of living the life of the Spirit we may discover some of those blessings, but they are by-products of the work of the Spirit that restores the image of God in us which was lost to sin and selfishness.  The whisper of the Spirit, deep within us, is insistent that we exist for some reason greater than piling up lots of stuff to play with or carving out a place of comfort where we can live out our days in self-indulgence. Jesus says that if we embrace self-sacrifice, only then do we truly find life!

Do something for someone today for which you expect NO THANKS. It doesn't have to be grand. Maybe it's listening to somebody's story, or washing your kid's clothes, or picking up trash in the parking lot. Pray for the most miserable person you know, asking God's blessing for them.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you to abandon complaining and seeking for recognition. Seek to be a servant for Jesus' sake. You will find ‘life to the full.’

 Here's a word from the Word. As you read pray that the Holy Spirit will let you appreciate the joy that can be found in humble service to God, expressed in serving others.

“Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death-and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion.

Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth-even those long ago dead and buried-will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.”  Philippians 2:5-11 (The Message, a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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Only Jesus

Make it count
leave a mark
build a name for yourself
Dream your dreams
chase your heart above all else
Make a name the world remembers

But all an empty world can sell is empty dreams
I got lost in the light when it was up to me
To make a name the world remembers
But Jesus is the only name to remember

And I I don't want to leave a legacy
I don't care if they remember me
Only Jesus
And I I've only got one life to live
I'll let every second point to Him
Only Jesus

All the kingdoms built all the trophies won
Will crumble into dust when it's said and done
'Cause all that really matters
Did I live the truth to the ones I love
Was my life the proof that there is only One
Whose name will last forever

Jesus is the only name
Jesus is the only name
Jesus is the only name to remember

I I don't want to leave a legacy
I don't care if they remember me
Only Jesus

 

Bernie Herms | Mark Hall | Matthew West

© My Refuge Music (Admin. by Essential Music Publishing LLC)

Matthew West (Combustion) (Admin. by Ole Media Management LP)

CCLI License # 810055