Lee Sparks, a former pastor, now writer, wrote a provocative column (REV. - Jan. '06) about the way we tend to say, "I'm outta here," within 30 seconds of the moment that something happens which makes feel us uncomfortable or upset. I've heard that threat -"I'm outta here!"- from people in the churches I've led so many times it doesn't shock me anymore. Apparently, it doesn't take much to cause us to leave the Body we profess to love with all of our heart! Some have marched off to another church over a single sermon that they didn't like, or worse; didn't even understand - without ever even giving their Pastor a chance to explain his intent. Some have packed their bags over a change that was made in a sincere attempt to guide the church towards a more effective ministry. They left even before the results were in to see if the right decision had been made. Others have left because they didn't get the kind of attention they wanted, or they got attention over something they hoped would never see the light of day!
Transparency with you requires that I admit that I've been tempted - more than once in 30 years of ministry- to walk into the pulpit and announce, "I'm outta here!" That urge rises when frustration with something or somebody overcomes love, vision, and/or patience. Thanks to the Holy Spirit's restraint (and my wife's wise counsel), I've never actually done it.
Donald Miller (author of Searching for God Knows What) wonders why we tend to more quickly 'dis-associate' than we do to build strong bonds with each other. I wonder, too.
What makes us run from friends, from family members, from each other, from our church - when we perceive that our needs are not being attended to in a way that satisfies us?
Why, when we are hurt, do we turn against others, therein hurting them?
Why, at the very moment, when we need the steadiness of those who know us best, do we run off to some other place or group that is less equipped to meet our need?
I don't have the answer for those questions.
But I know this: "I'm outta here" is not a good choice. Running away from our conflicts and/or disappointments is never a solution that produces good results. We are left with unresolved questions, lingering resentment, and some 'old business' that always comes 'round again on the agenda somewhere down the road of life.
In one of the most moving passages in the whole New Testament (John 17), Jesus has a long conversation with the men who have hung around with him for three years. That very night, He knows that He will be torn from them to die a terrible death, in the process also being wrenched from the fellowship of the Father as He sacrifices Himself. In the depth of His emotion, He prays this amazing and convicting thing - "The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind— Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you, so they might be one heart and mind with us. Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me. The same glory you gave me, I gave them, So they’ll be as unified and together as we are— I in them and you in me. Then they’ll be mature in this oneness, and give the godless world evidence that you’ve sent me and loved them in the same way you’ve loved me. " (John 17:21-23, The Message)
Jesus didn't just say - "Help them to be nice to each other 'cause people like nice people!" That's the way we read it too often! Frankly, nice usually stinks. 'Nice' is a phony facade that covers a lot of disappointment and cynicism and it hinders the painful process of resolution. Jesus prayed that we would "become ONE in heart and mind." He said that our willingness to work through our differences with each other and to allow a Spiritual unity to develop would convince the godless of the reality of God and His love. He prayed that we would have such a sense of our 'value' as a result of God's love for us that we would be able to absorb the pain of being 'devalued' by the actions of other Christians, both those intentionally designed to hurt us and those hurts that come our way in the course of everyday life. Knowing God's love in that way requires time, investment, and searching for Him whole-heartedly. Oh, what a result, though. When we are Divinely loved, we become great lovers of people and God becomes visible and desirable to those who have concluded that the good life is about getting a new car or having sex with somebody other than their spouse!
So, here's a challenge to myself and to you. Let's commit that in 2006 the words - "I'm outta here" - will not be spoken or acted out by us! When relationships get strained (and they will because we are failure prone human beings who get tired, who speak thoughtlessly, and who just don't get it at least some of the time); let's commit to run towards each other. Courageously, let's say - "I want to talk about that," but not meaning- "I want to prove to you that you're an idiot!" Instead, let's adopt the intent of - "I want us to show that we really love each other enough to hug this difference between us until it melts in the warmth of God's love!"
By God's grace, let's learn to love each other. No more "I'm outta here!" In place of that, how about - "Let's pray 'til we see the Light together!"
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They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love
We are one in the Spirit, We are one in the Lord,
We are one in the Spirit, We are one in the Lord,
And we pray that all unity
May one day be restored.
We will walk with each other
We will walk hand in hand,
We will walk with each other
We will walk hand in hand,
And together we'll spread the news
That God is in our land.
We will work with each other
We will work side be side,
We will work with each other
We will work side by side,
And we'll guard each one's dignity
And save each one's pride.
All praise to the Father
From whom all things come;
And all praise toChrist Jesus, His only Son;
And all praise to
The Spirit who makes us one.
And they'll know we are Christians
By our love, by our love.
Yes, they'll know we are Christians
By our love.
Author: Scholtes, PeterCopyright: 1966 F.E.L. Publications (a div. of the Lorenz Corporation)
