For Real!

Years ago, I bought a gold ring that was inset with diamonds for $19. No, it wasn't 'hot.' (stolen) You guessed it. It isn't real gold and they aren't real diamonds, but hey -- from 6 or 8 feet away, who could tell? It looks like the real thing, until you take a close look. Then, the fact that it is an imitation is obvious even to the untrained eye. There are plenty of imitations in our world. You can buy a pint of imitation vanillin flavor for the same price as a couple of ounces of real vanilla extract- but there is no comparing the flavor difference. You can buy an imitation Rolex watch on the streets of New York City for a few dollars, but a real one will cost several thousands.

I love real people. OK, you're scratching your head wondering, "What other kind are there? Robots? Fake people?" Yes, the world is filled with people who are just shells, images without substance, pretenders who work at hiding their true selves behind titles and tales; suits and surgeries. My heart breaks for these sad souls who have to work so hard to be somebody they are not, in vain attempts to gain the approval of people they don't even like.

Real people have learned to be 'at home' in their own skin. They don't have to prove anything, play a role, or have rhinoplasty. (Look it up and smile!) Real people know that they are more than the kind of car they drive and the job that they hold. Real people can be difficult because they are so resistant to the games too many of us play. You can't manipulate a real person because she is not responsive to peer pressure. Then, too, real people live and tell the truth which makes some of us very uncomfortable. They don't pretend to see the Emperor's new clothes, they just acknowledge that he's naked!
(If you don't know that story you can read it at http://hca.gilead.org.il/emperor.html)

Being authentic is important for Believers! The opposite is hypocrisy, which Jesus condemned more harshly than any other sin! When He met the Pharisees who were expert religious fakes, He was not gentle. In The Message, a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, Jesus' outrage at these pious frauds comes through. Take a look.

• “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You keep meticulous account books, tithing on every nickel and dime you get, but on the meat of God’s Law, things like fairness and compassion and commitment—the absolute basics!—you carelessly take it or leave it. Careful bookkeeping is commendable, but the basics are required. Do you have any idea how silly you look, writing a life story that’s wrong from start to finish, nitpicking over commas and semicolons?
  
• “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You burnish the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something.
  
• “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh." Matthew 23:23-27

Wow! What would Jesus say to some of us who are so skilled at putting on the religious show on Sunday? Just reading those words makes me shudder!

Here's the great truth. Though being honest with ourselves and others about who we are and what we've done is very hard, it is the first step to change. The Bible calls it 'confession.' John wrote about 'confessing our sins,' (1 John 1.9) and in the Greek text which is the New Testament's original language, he uses the word 'homologeo.' which means 'same word.' How does that connect? God wants us to 'say the same word' as He does about who we are and what we have done. He knows us - inside and out - beyond our pretending and our image. He says, "Agree with Me about your true self, and then, I can start the work of restoring you to a state of being genuine, of bearing my image as I intended!"

The #1 objection to authenticity is this - 'but if people really know me, they won't like me.' Mostly that's because we do not like ourselves! We think we are too fat, too thin, too dumb, too ugly, too shy, too tall, too short, too.... I've heard it all. Hidden inside of us, is a person God made to fill a specific place in this world. We sin against Him when we try to become somebody else. Yes, who He made us to be is damaged by sin, our own and who sin against us. The thing with sin is not to pretend or cover it up, but rather to own it and let the Son shine in. He will bring us His hope, His healing, and His restoration of the image of God that we were meant to bear, forgiving us and loving us, so we can liberally love and forgive others.

Are you a fake? Let God love you to reality.He knows the 'real' you so why not admit who you are to Him, and then to yourself?

Real is a beautiful thing - truly!

Idolatry of perfection

"Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly."- G. K. Chesterton The phrase arrested me!

Everywhere I turn I am challenged to excellence, urged to compete, compared to the best, inspected, poked, prodded.... and that's not all bad. But, there is a place for doing what we do, being who we are, without comparing, without measuring. Years ago, I stopped playing golf. There were many reasons but the primary one was that I did not play well enough. I knew I didn't have the time or money to invest in developing the skills that would allow me to be a good (by prevailing standards) golfer. I loved spending three hours puttering around the course, and I really did not give a care if I shot a 9 on a par 5! But, not many of my follow golfers wanted a guy along on the course who was just out hitting the ball and soaking up sunshine. I wasn't a 'serious' golfer. I let the pressure of competition steal a simple pleasure from me.

My wife teaches 1st grade. She feels constant pressure to make each of the little ones learn all their subjects to the same high degree of proficiency. Never mind that tiny Sally is an artist for whom math is an exercise in torture. Mark's passion is reading but he must draw! They must all get good grades in all subjects regardless of natural interests or abilities. The joy of learning and collaboration is lost to little marks on a paper that determines if Sally and Mark are 'good' students. This is the tragedy of modern education.

A small church of a 100 or so enthusiastic Christians may be a wonderfully healthy Body nurturing people into a relationship with God that is deep and authentic, but that little congregation will often destroy the joy and health of who they are by trying to become the next mega-church-- going into debt, taking on ministries -- because that what 'churches of excellence' do. Instead of being the church that God ordained them to be, they feel they must be the church that Christianity Today magazine lauds in the lead article of the most recent issue.

The idolatry of perfection creeps into everything, turning our focus onto ourselves away from the service of God. The result is that fewer of us live joyful, committed, and fulfilled lives. Instead we are perpetually desperate, anxious, and cranky!

Are you starting to get my point today?

• We don't age with grace because baldness, thick waist lines, and wrinkles are not acceptable in the modern standard of perfection of perpetual youthfulness. Says who? It's the way of life that youth gives way to age and God's plan is that the deficits that come with aging are offset by the strength of wisdom! Proverbs observes- 16:31 "Gray hair is a mark of distinction, the award for a God-loyal life."
  
• We can't let our kids be ordinary (almost a curse word to some!) because to do so is to fail to push them to their potential. So, conforming to the ways of the world, we make them neurotic performers who don't know the joy of doing anything just 'for the fun of it;' who spend the rest of their lives competing and living on the edge of mental breakdown. Imagine saying, "Just play baseball and enjoy it, son." Oh no, we have to ruin Little League for him, making a 9 year old kid play the game like the destiny of the universe rides on whether his team wins!
  
• We can't rejoice in who we are because we're always focused on what we could be... if only!
  
• Our spouses suffer under the strain of being compared to that one that is 'so perfect' and we destroy what could be a great relationship trying to make our wife realize that she 'needs' to be thinner, neater, .... etc. We miss the treasure we have, because we are comparing.
  
• Our Christian lives are full of stress and strain as we measure and compare ourselves to others. God's will is that we surrender to the Spirit's call and allow Him to use us - just as we are, right where we are- for His purposes.

"Jerry," you say, "I am shocked that you would applaud mediocrity." If that what you're thinking, I've communicated poorly or you've jumped to the wrong conclusion. It's not mediocrity that I'm urging on us today. It is acceptance of who we are and contentment in the situations in which we find ourselves at this moment. God has a plan for each one of us, and we can't all be the President of the United States or evangelist Billy Graham!

The Bible reminds us that "The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up only one body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into Christ’s body by one Spirit, and we have all received the same Spirit.Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am only an ear and not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body?" (1 Cor. 12:12-16 NLT )

If we attempt, in the name of excellence, to be someone that we are not called or equipped to be, we will miss out on the great joy that comes to those who are humble - that is, no more and no less than God calls them to be.

Let me urge you today to ask God who He is asking you to be, without comparison to some external standard of 'excellence.' Rejoice in the spiritual gifts and opportunities He has presented to you and be the person He wants, not the person others are demanding you become. Give up the need to be recognized, to 'win' the award, to earn applause - except the applause of Heaven earned as we perform for the Audience of One.

In this humility and contentment we will find that life is much more pleasant for us and for all those around us. AND, I am absolutely convinced, that in the end, we will accomplish more, and what we do, because it is done for God, will be of lasting value!

Are you worshipping the idol of perfectionism?

Love's strength

Telemachus, a monk who lived in the 5th century, journeyed to Rome. He went to the Coliseum where the bloody gladiatorial contests were waged, killing for public entertainment. The sight so deeply offended him that he jumped into the arena. There are several variations in the story of what happened next. In some tellings, he put himself between two gladiators shouting that the contest must stop in the name of Christ, and was run through with their swords. In other tellings he implored the crowds to go home and never return to the games. Their bloodlust was so great that they stoned the monk to death. Whatever account is true, the end result was that Honorius, the Emperor, was so moved by this display of sacrificial love that he put an end to the murderous games forever.

Such is the transforming power of real love! Jesus said that it would be the quality of our love that would be the undeniable distinguishing mark that we were His followers. In the first three centuries of the Christian church this was certainly true. Believers had no worldly power structure, no cathedrals in which to worship, no wealth with which to fund armies or professionals, no official hierarchy to promulgate the faith. Christianity thrived because those who put their faith in Jesus were radically changed by His love and went into a cruel and violent world armed with nothing but love. Followers of Jesus rejected any solution to evil that required power or violence. Instead they looked for the places where need existed and served sacrifically. The sick found compassionate care in the homes of Believers. The outcasts were welcomed. Abandoned children were adopted. Love was more than a feeling! Love was a verb that worked hard, at great personal cost. The world was changed by the power of love.

This quality is beyond the sentimental impulse so often confused with genuine love. It comes from a place much deeper than the warm fuzzy feelings produced by a greeting card poem. Transforming love is borne of an encounter with God. It is sustained by ongoing intimacy with God's Spirit where our heart is made tender by the application of His grace. "We love," John says, "because He first loved us." If this kind of love is cultivated and allowed to flourish in our lives, we will be transformed and we will become world-changers! Our children will not abandon our faith as so much silly and/or superficial ritual aimed at getting into Heaven, someday when we die, by and by.

Love will give our lives depth and texture that is so compelling that others will long to live with the same intensity. Was it her beauty, wealth, or political power that made Mother Teresa universally admired in the last two decades of the 20th century? Of course not! Her life was lived completely in the two loves that Jesus said were at the heart of a life rightly lived- love for God and love for others. Love compelled that little woman to serve the least, the low, the loveless and love gave her access to kings and Presidents whose power was eclipsed by that of a diminutive nun from Calcutta. Once when she was asked about her hard work, she said, I pray that you will understand the words of Jesus, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Ask yourself “How has he loved me? Do I really love others in the same way?” Unless this love is among us, we can kill ourselves with work and it will only be work, not love. Work without love is slavery.

I have much to learn about love! But I rejoice that I am not who I was, and that I am not yet all I will be! Thanks be to God who loves me with transforming love. He loves you, too. Are you letting that love change your heart?
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1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete.

But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Ennobled by love

The best 15 minutes of yesterday was when I rocked a little 2 year old while she watched TV. I sat down in the rocker while I was waiting to have lunch with my Mom and Dad. Little Ashley, a child in their care at Scott House, came over, crawled onto my lap, snuggled in, and made herself comfortable. Later her older sister, age 3, wanted to sit next to me during lunch, where she basked in the attention I gave her. Making those little kids feel special by giving them a few moments of focused attention was not only good for them, it was good for my soul!

We need to love and be loved. We hunger for the affirmation of our person that is found in receiving love and affection. As adults we move away from the simple expression of the hug and experience love in words sincerely and creatively say, "You matter to me!" These words build our sense of personal worth, letting us know that we are valued beyond our 'work' and function in society. As much as we need to loved in that way, we also need to give that kind of love away liberally.

Genuine Love is so precious, such a catalyst for transformation, so "of God" -- that the Evil One does everything he can to frustrate the expression of it.

Sex - If possible he will convince us that sex is love; and he's been quite successful doing that in our present American culture. Our teens, particularly the girls, have so entangled sex and love that many are giving themselves in self-demeaning ways thinking that the guys will 'love' them in return.

Religion - He uses religious zeal to great effect in destroying love. Consumed with a need for the triumph of "truth" many Muslims hate Christians and Jews. With equal prejudice, Christians quickly assume a place of superiority, pointing out the deficiencies of Hindus and Buddhists. Even among Christians, being 'right' is usually more important than being loving - and 'right' is usually whatever 'we' are - Baptist, Pentecostal, Calvinist, Catholic, Sacramental, Charismatic. How proudly we wear our labels to make sure everyone is aware of our position and from the well-defended heights we rain down scorn on those differently persuaded.

Ego- Then, too, the Devil uses our innate love of self to frustrate the expression of love. He does whatever he is able to do to remind us when our hunger for love is unmet and to convince us that we could not possibly extend ourselves in love and kindness given our own need. How many marriages have perished because neither spouse will move to meet the other's need for love until they feel that their own need is met? How many friendships have died because one person became convinced they weren't getting their fair share of affection?

Believer, we can LOVE and we must. God, in Christ Jesus, has loved us and from that 'first cause' has sparked in us the ability to love Him and others with abandon. Meditate on this familiar passage for a few moments --
"My dear friends, we must love each other. Love comes from God, and when we love each other, it shows that we have been given new life. We are now God’s children, and we know him. God is love, and anyone who doesn’t love others has never known him. God showed his love for us when he sent his only Son into the world to give us life. Real love isn’t our love for God, but his love for us. God sent his Son to be the sacrifice by which our sins are forgiven. Dear friends, since God loved us this much, we must love each other." (1 John 4:7-11, CEV)


Paul develops that thought even further as he writes to Timothy. He encourages him not to get side-tracked into being 'right' at the expense of being loving.
"Don’t let people waste time in endless speculation over myths and spiritual pedigrees. For these things only cause arguments; they don’t help people live a life of faith in God. The purpose of my instruction is that all the Christians there would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and sincere faith.
But some teachers have missed this whole point. They have turned away from these things and spend their time arguing and talking foolishness. They want to be known as teachers of the law of Moses, but they don’t know what they are talking about, even though they seem so confident." (1 Timothy 1:4-7, NLT)

Let God love you deeply today. Realize that He loves you, not for your performance or pedigree, but because you are. As that sinks in, ask Him to help you to love someone else in that way... whether it's rocking a little child for a few moments (that will make your heart glad!), or listening intently to a lonely elderly person in the supermarket, or picking up a volunteer task that makes someone's world a little brighter.

"There are three things that will endure—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13, NLT)

Sharing the love of Jesus?

I recently read a provocative book by Brian McLaren called A Generous Orthodoxy, which is an invitation to Christians to think about the many ways that God touches our lives. The chapter on bringing Jesus to our world, but in a way that invites others with warm dialogue rather than condemnation, was especially winsome. A person who reads it too quickly might conclude that the author says that all religions are equal in truth and worthy of the same respect. He doesn't! McLaren makes a case that we who are followers of Christ must go beyond our 'religion' to take Christ Jesus' message of God's love and offer of life to all people without trying to export our culture besides. Tricky call, isn't it? So much of our practice of Christianity is co-mingled with Euro-American culture that many of us scarcely know the difference!

He tells a story, a true one, that is arresting. Go with us to post 9/11 Washington, DC, to a neighborhood of cultural diversity.
One day, Emma (the author's little daughter) saw a woman walking towards us covered in a veil and asked the inevitable, "What that, Mommy?"
"Emma," I answered, "that lady is a Muslim from a faraway place. She dresses like that- and covers her head with a veil - because she loves God, that is how her people show they love God."
Emma considered these words. She stared at the woman who past us, pointed at her, then pointed at my hair and further quizzed, "Mommy, do you love God?"
"Yes, honey," I laughed, "I do. You and I are Christians. Christian ladies show their love for God by going to church, by eating the bread and wine, by serving the poor, and by giving to those in need. We don't wear veils, but we love God."
After this, Emma took ever opportunity to point out Muslim women during our shopping trips and to tell me, "Mommy, look. She loves God."
One day we were getting out of our car at our driveway at the same time as our Pakistani neighbors. Emma saw the mother, beautifully veiled, and pointing at her, shouted, "Look, Mommy, she loves God!" My neighbor was surprised. I told her what I had taught Emma about Muslim ladies loving God. While she held back her tears, this near stranger hugged me, saying, "I wish all Americans would teach their children so. The world would be better. The world would be better."
-- A Generous Orthodoxy, pg. 266 quoting Broken We Kneel, Diana Butler (Jossey Bass, 2004)

What a bridge-builder! And learning to reach across those kind of cultural gaps is exactly what Paul was willing to do in order to earn the right to present Christ's message in many settings. He was so secure in his identity as a Christ-follower, he was able to meet people where they were. He writes, When I am with the Jews, I become one of them so that I can bring them to Christ. When I am with those who follow the Jewish laws, I do the same, even though I am not subject to the law, so that I can bring them to Christ. When I am with the Gentiles who do not have the Jewish law, I fit in with them as much as I can. In this way, I gain their confidence and bring them to Christ. But I do not discard the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are oppressed, I share their oppression so that I might bring them to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone so that I might bring them to Christ. I do all this to spread the Good News, and in doing so I enjoy its blessings." (1 Corinthians 9:20-23, NLT)

Emma's mother wasn't endorsing Islam as a way of life when she taught her daughter to be respectful and to see the Muslim veil within the context of its use. That respect created an opening for Christ's love to bridge the gap between cultures. It takes great security in our relationship with Jesus to live in that way, a security found only in a deep intimacy with the Lord born of a revelation of His grace and love for us!

Some Believers feel the need to build a fence that divides the 'in' from the 'out' from the very first conversation. They insist that if we show respect or enter into dialogue with a person of no faith or of another religion, they might interpret our acceptance of their person as affirmation of their religion! Oh, how the Devil rejoices when we make that conclusion for this erroneous notion renders us largely silent as a messenger of Eternity's best news! There is a huge difference between accepting others and affirming what they do. Jesus ate at the table of sinners but he was quite confident that they wouldn't mistake His willingness to break bread with them as approval of the way they lived! Can we do less?

IF we are filled with the Spirit, the intangible reality of His Presence will spill out of us at those tables, compelling others to think deeply of value of following Jesus, too. May I encourage you to think about the way that you relate to the 'world' around you?

Are you hiding behind walls of separation, afraid of being contaminated by the filth that is real and prevalent out there? I understand that urge! Sometimes I want to run for the hills, too, and move into a Christian commune where never an unkind, filthy, or hateful word is heard. But, how can we fulfill our God-given function as 'salt and light' in this world if we are locked up in isolated communities?

Are you walking in the world, but careful to make certain that your 'Christian' persuasion is unmistakable, carrying a Bible prominently, pasting a fish symbol on your car, -- or whatever you've been taught? Check the motivation behind such displays. If there is even a hint of self-righteousness or self-preservation in all of that, stop it! Jesus wasn't too kind to some religious folk who wore their religion on their sleeve, so to speak. “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear extra long tassels on their robes." (Matthew 23:5, NLT)

Are you intentionally open, respectful, and ready to enter into the lives of others so that you might have the opportunity to bring Jesus' message to them in your actions and words? This requires that we are wise, filled to overflowing with genuine love, and completely secure in our own faith in Him. There is something undeniably attractive about that kind of Believer. Paul alludes to it when he says,"thanks be to God, who made us his captives and leads us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now wherever we go he uses us to tell others about the Lord and to spread the Good News like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a fragrance presented by Christ to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those being saved and by those perishing. To those who are perishing we are a fearful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this?" (2 Corinthians 2:14-16, NLT)
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Lover of my soul, this morning I am
feeling the wonder that You would love
someone as insignificant as I.

Let that love settle so deeply into my
heart and mind that I will become a
lover of others, deeply - compassionately.

Teach me how to bring your grace
to those who are hungering for You.
As I see and understand the world through their
mind and heart, help me to have the
words to convey Your hope and love to them.

Jesus Christ, hear my prayer.
Amen