A friend offered a gentle rebuke to me recently. It stung because I realized the statement was true. When I pointed out what I perceived to be a lack of effort on the part of another, I heard this- “Well, I guess nobody but you gets it right.” Those words poked a big hole in my pride, helping me to know that I needed to do better at encouraging, letting go of critical thoughts.
Why do those critical comments come to us so easily?
Ever criticized another’s marriage without really understanding the relationship?
Ever said of another “C’mon. Get it right!” without thinking about the hardships they are trying to survive?
Ever looked at a public person with contemptuous criticism having little actual knowledge of the pressure they face each day in their duties?
Ever threw a word grenade at a fellow Christian who is struggling with some habit, or doubts, or fear when what they needed was support and encouragement?
To be sure, there is a place for evaluation and even criticism. Nobody ever gets it right all the time. We grow when we are made aware of our flaws, when we are challenged to make a better effort. But the years have taught me that it is a lot easier to toss grenades to blow things up than it is to build things.
Jesus generally approached others with offers of acceptance, understanding and lifting them up. Yes, He could be a critic, when necessary, but reserved His critical comments for the self-righteous.
When some grenade throwers dragged a woman caught in sin He did not lash out at her with scathing words about her shamelessness. He did not chide her for the failure to understand the consequences of her choices. He did not shame her for a lack of character. He offered her love, gave her dignity. Only then did he say, “Now, go and sin no more.” (John 8)
Truth here!
*People who are secure because they know the redemptive and complete love of God will be much better at the work of encouragement.
*Those who understand their calling and know their own strengths and weaknesses will have less need to compare and criticize.
When you find yourself tossing those grenades of criticism, pause to take an inward look. Ask yourself where you are feeling anxious about life, what you fear. Renew your understanding of God’s amazing grace, with grateful prayer for His mercy and love.
This passage has rescued me from judgment more times than I can remember. John says – “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.” (1 John 3)
God offers full acceptance, not because we are good, smart, or perfect in every way. The Word tells us that “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ.” (Ephesians 1:7-9, NIV) Yes, He showers kindness on us, not criticism!
The example of Israel’s great leader, the Lawgiver, Moses, is rich for us. When the LORD told the man that his leadership was ending, he argued asking for more time. Instead, God told him to get another ready to take his place – “commission Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he will lead this people across and will cause them to inherit the land that you will see.” (Deuteronomy 3:28, NIV) Moses’ obedience was remarkable. He became Joshua’s biggest supporter, urging him on, endorsing him before the nation. In part, Joshua’s amazing success was directly attributable to Moses’ encouragement.
There is joy found in instilling another with hope, helping to lift a burden, pointing one to a new way of thinking. Some may realize what you have done and say, ‘thank you.’ Some may never know the wind that you redirected into their sails. Will you toss grenades like any old critic, or will you hold out hope?
Here’s a word from the Word. “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3:13, NIV)
Amen
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