Here's one thing I have learned about being a Dad that you can take for what it's worth. Your kid, be she 4, 14, or 24 years of age, doesn't want a king for a Dad; someone who is handing down edicts from some lofty height regal majesty. Kids need and want a coach, somebody who is showing them the way and encouraging them to reach for the highest. Key fathering words are character, faith, and wisdom. Dads who regard themselves as kings in their little castle become melded with their recliners, TV remote in hand, barking out orders and sending their kids to do the things that they don't do. They say really dumb things like - "You little *&%$! Who taught you to talk like that?" right after cursing out the driver who cut them off at the intersection. “Why don’t you respect your mother?” while showing her no love or support. “Go to church. It’s good for you.” as they head off to their hunting camp for yet another weekend, Dads who rule like kings lose touch with their kids then cry in self-pity wondering "why doesn't he respect me?"
Life Coach Dads say, like Paul, "Follow me as I follow Christ." (1 Cor. 11:1) It’s much more difficult to show the way than it is to point the way. But, fathers who adopt coaching as their model, realize that values are caught, not taught. They don't have a private porn stash, or go to clubs where they can't take their son, or have a life apart from their family. Dad, live as an open book, letting your kids learn as much from your failures as they do from your successes. Let them know that Dads sometimes do not have the answer and that you need life coaches and God, too! Show them that making the God-honoring choice is costly, but right. Teach them to repent when you sin by admitting your error - to God and to them. Demonstrate that life is more than things, by making the choice to give yourself and your time to others, to the Lord.
Coaches sometimes have to kick butt, too. It’s called discipline. Don’t be a wimpy Dad who is afraid to say hard things. Just do it like the Bible teaches, always in love, never in exasperation! Remember Dad, our Father in Heaven disciplines those He loves, but not just to punish or because He’s fed up with us. His discipline is aimed at correction and producing a positive change in us.
Anybody can plant sperm and become a father in that sense. It takes guts, endurance, wisdom, and the daily help of the Spirit to be a real Dad. Few things in the world compare to the joy that a Life Coach Dad feels when he sees his son or daughter doing the right things and realizing with amazed wonder and some fear, too- "They becoming just like me!"
"Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master." (Ephesians 6:4, The Message)
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