Misophonia, anyone?

Misophonia, anyone?

20/20 reported on a new malady. It’s called misophonia. Neurologists allege that those with the disorder become annoyed, or even enraged, by such ordinary sounds as other people eating, breathing, or coughing; certain consonants; or repetitive sounds. People with misophonia may be diagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder. Even if we do not have this disorder, we all know people who set our teeth on edge. Just the sound of their voice as grating as finger nails dragged on a blackboard! Whatever triggers the irritation, left unexamined or unchallenged, it can quickly grow into offense, and then into a toxic situation.

We don’t have to have a neurological disorder for others to anger us. Human relationships are complex. Why do some people have such an ability to push our buttons? Why is that when ‘that person’ appears, our blood pressure goes up along with feelings of anxiety or anger?

• ... a neighbor and his piles of junk scattered around his year.
  
• ... a co-worker who expects everybody else on the team to carry her load as she whines about how hard life is for her. 
• ...  that person who is the perpetual 'star' in his own show, grabbing the spotlight of recognition.
  
• ... your parents who take the liberty to tell you how badly you are failing as a parent.
• ... that guy who thinks he's charming, but who is really an insensitive bore.
  

So, what's the natural way to deal with irritating people? You can shut them out! Just ignore them and hope they go away. If you see their number on caller ID, let the voicemail take the call. Build a fence so you can't see their junk. You could choose to move three states from your family to prevent them from meddling in your life more than once a year. These all work fairly well, if our goal is to protect ourselves.

But, are those choices what Christ Jesus wants from us? He told us exactly how we are to relate to others, even the difficult people in this world. Take a look. "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ... “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." (Luke 6:27-36, NIV)

Love, generosity, mercy! Tough words, aren't they? Jesus gives us no excuse to be unkind, critical, or even neutral! He orders us to take active steps to love those people we naturally would avoid. He shows us how to start- with prayer, not the 'get'em God' prayers that we are tempted to pray, either. Supernatural Holy Spirit-inspired love starts with: "Lord, help me to understand them, to know how to meet their needs, to have the right words that help them grow in grace, to be a loving friend to them today."

It is next to impossible to continue to hate someone for whom you are actively praying every day. Difficult people provide us with an opportunity to be a servant. Yes, they serve God's purposes in our lives by teaching us to surrender our rights, drop our defenses, and do what needs to be done for others. "Well, if I do that, they will just keep on being the way they are." Perhaps that is true. But it is also true that genuine love (not the fake air kisses variety that pretends politeness while thinking, 'drop dead!') is life's most powerful change agent. God loved you and me to wholeness while we were still rejecting Him, doing our own thing, and ignoring His offer of grace. Can we do less for others?

Are you feeling anger or even outright hostility towards another person?

How about confessing that feeling to God, without excuse or justification right now?

Tell Him how you feel and ask Him to change your heart. Then, take that step of praying for that person you really do not like. Keep at it. In time, you will discover that the best change happened in you! Here’s a word from the Word. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8, NIV)