What is it in yourself you intensely dislike: your temper, the way you look, your personality, some chronic physical weakness, a handicap? You have likely prayed to be changed, healed, delivered... right? It is right and good to ask our Father for these things, but there are times when He will not take what we think to be a curse from us because it is that thing keeps us faithful to Him and/or provides for greater ministry opportunities.
At that very point of 'weakness' God has an opening into your life to do His greatest work in you and through you. I asked a friend who's been struggling through a severe time of testing recently, "How's are you doing?" I wasn't just being polite. I've prayed for him regularly and trusted God with him for freedom. His reply showed amazing spiritual insight. I'll paraphrase his reply -- "Jerry, God's presence is nearer to me now and I am discovering so many new things." As we talked for a few moments, he told me how he still wants to be healed, but that he is much more ready to trust how God works in the middle of the problem, too!
Paul was extraordinarily used of God. Because of his gifts, he was subject to pride, which could have destroyed him so the Lord gave him another ‘gift,’ that kept him God-aware and Spirit-reliant. Here’s what he told us about that: "I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, NLT) It is useless to speculate over Paul's 'thorn in the flesh' (NIV) but whatever it was, he disliked it enough to pray long and hard for healing. God said, "No! That thing is my gift to you to keep you leaning hard on my grace, not yourself.” Suffering, as much as we hate it, can be God’s leash that keeps us from running headlong into soul destroying situations.
Remember Jacob, the patriarch in Genesis? He wrestled with a heavenly messenger at the ford of Jabbok all night long. The encounter left him a changed man and limping! His limp reminded him of God's Presence!
We quickly develop illusions about our self- sufficiency, our 'deserving-ness,' our abilities - when our bank account is full to overflowing, our health is good, our kids are doing well, and no besetting sin is apparent. “What a good guy I am. God must surely bless me with more because I deserve it.” While we may not actually utter the prayer of the Pharisee, "God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican” (Luke 18:11 KJV) but we easily slip into thinking something like it, don’t we?
Self-righteousness stinks. It turns the fragrance of Christ’s grace into the stench of human religiosity. It turns us from child-like prayers of faith, to manipulative schemes to get our own way. It robs us of love and empathy and turns us into harsh judges who readily condemn others. “Why can’t they just get it right?” with the implied clause, “just like me.” We lack grace both inwardly and outwardly.
Go back to that thing in your life you would like to be rid of, that makes you feel pain, that drives you to your knees. Prayerfully consider, with the help and insight of the Spirit, whether God is giving you a 'gift' to keep you close to Him. Thank Him that He is greater than your weakness and present Him with your 'problem,' inviting Him to remove it or use it -- in keeping with His eternal purposes. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” As you discover more about Jesus and His wonderful love for you, watch His joy begin to fill your heart and mind.
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Days will come when you don’t have the strength
Wondering if you ever could be loved,
If they ever truly saw your heart
They’d see too much
You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You are made so much more than all of this.
You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His.
You're beautiful!
I'm praying that you have the heart to find
‘Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
Before you ever took a breath
Long the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves
Enough to die!
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
In His eyes!
- Mercy Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6pS5HCkgPI
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