Keep hope.

Ever been disappointed by another person's actions? Who hasn't?

A man visited with me a few days ago and talked bitterly about his pending divorce. "It's that d___ computer," he spat out the words. "We got it 3 years ago and she started spending time on it well into the night. Then, she claimed she fell in love with a guy; after 20 years of marriage." He was clearly angry, puzzled, and sad in equal measures.

I remember when the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke over the Clinton presidency years ago. My mind knew that the President was human, but I was still shocked and disappointed that the man would abuse the trust of a young intern, his wife, and the nation. It was hard to watch him speak and not think about his lack of self-control.

A man that I loved as a brother, who served along side of me as an Elder of a church where I pastored, confessed that he was an adulterer, shattering my trust and destroying his marriage. After all these years I still can't think of that day without feeling a deep sense of sadness and wondering what I might have done to help him resist the temptations that he allowed to ruin his life.

There are chapters in my life when I disappointed myself! Selfishness, rage, lack of empathy, laziness ... they are part of my biography, too! I try to live in a better way and too often, I fail.

So, how do we deal with disappointment, with failures - our own, and those of others?

Bitterness is the choice of many people. Disappointment with people, circumstances, even God causes some to grow sour in spirit. The Bible says that this becomes a root from which all kinds of evil grows in a person's life. [Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV)] speaks of a "...root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled." We all know people who can't find a nice thing to say about anyone, who are cynical, withdrawn, and poisonous!

Forgiveness is the first part of God's answer to disappointment. Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Matthew 18:21 (NKJV) Since the law only required 3 instances of forgiveness thought he was being big-hearted to offer to forgive seven times! But you remember the Lord's response, don't you? Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven."

Forgiveness - does that mean we sweep away the other person's offense as though what was done is without importance? Does that betrayed husband of whom I wrote in the opening paragraph just try to forget the deep wound to his spirit that his wife's infidelity caused? Do I just look at my own sins that disappoint me and shrug, "I'm human"? No! That is not forgiveness as taught by the Scripture. Forgiveness is a choice to hand over the disappointment to God for His justice, to release the debt we feel is owed to us to Him. "Impossible," you say. No, friend, it isn't. Hard, yes - impossible, no.

Acceptance of reality is the second part of the answer to disappointment. We must give up our childish fantasy that life will always work out as planned, that people will always be good, do what we expect, or act in ways that are consistent. None of us is perfect! A measure of our maturity is the ability to deal with people as they are, discerning the good and the bad in others and in ourselves, and acting appropriately. I accept that there is a part of me that is quite capable of sin. I don't deny it. That acceptance does not mean that I indulge my tendency to sin. Instead, I seek the Life of the Holy Spirit to help me to put that part of myself to death - daily! Likewise, accepting the reality that others are not perfect and may well fail- allows me to let the Love of the Spirit love them anyway!

Keep hope! The day of the defeat of evil is coming. Oh, how I look forward to that day, when sin's power over us is completely destroyed, when disappointment is wiped away. Won't it be a great day?

"May Your Kingdom come, Your will be done - on earth, as it is in Heaven!" Amen