Friday, December 13, 2013

"I want him to pay for what he did"


She wondered if she could ever feel whole again. She said she hated Christmas, not because she disliked gifts and get-togethers, but because it stirred up so many emotions, especially those surrounded the divorce. That woman is not unique! In the middle of all the talk of 'peace on earth' and joyous family  gatherings, there are many who taste only bitterness, souls wounded by the thoughtlessness, cruelty, or betrayal caused by another. The pain of old emotional wounds and unresolved conflicts shows up more plainly during the holidays.

There is a cure for this soul pain, but it is costly. What is it?  Forgiveness! It is a choice, really, it is!  Are you stuck in a place where you want justice (which is actually a desire to see them pay for their wrong) more than you desire forgiveness? Most of us love justice, as long as it's for someone else,  and we find radical forgiveness totally unfair.  We say things like:
"But I just can't let her off the hook free of making things right with me."
"How will he learn the lessons he needs if I forgive him?"
"He hurt me. Let him make the first move."

Jesus tells us that forgiveness is the only way to break the cycle of revenge that escalates conflict.  Often ‘justice’ is not just.  It is simply retaliation and the other party retaliates in ever greater measure.  The gift of forgiveness is so irrational, so unfair! But, if we will not forgive, we enslave ourselves to the person we will not release from our debt.  A refusal to forgive hands another person the keys to our life and allows them to lock us into the past. Yancey tells about an immigrant rabbi who had survived the Nazi holocaust who said, "Before coming to America, I had to forgive Adolf Hitler. I did not want to bring Hitler to my new country still inside of me."

If you’re feeling bitter, there is no better time to forgive! Don't expect your forgiveness to bring about some miraculous transformation in the one who has offended you. They may actually feel vindicated!  Lewis Smedes says, "the only person healed is frequently the forgiver."   Forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation, either. The other person may wish to continue in hatred. Forgiveness is YOUR act, YOUR choice, YOUR gift- to the offender and to YOURSELF! Letting the hurt go, releasing that other person from any debt to you, will be one of the most difficult choices you make. It is the right choice.

Never confuse forgiveness with saying, “It does not matter. The thing was unimportant.”  That is not what forgiveness is.  True forgiveness is releasing the other person from indebtedness to you and giving the whole thing to God, who judges justly.  Jesus taught us to pray:  "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our  debtors. ...”  Then, He added this often ignored line:  "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:12-15

Peace on Earth! That is the declaration of the One who came to bring us a message of forgiveness, with all debts paid at His expense.  He forgave our sins and reconciled us to our Father. He made peace for us. Now, we, by faith, accept that peace and as it settles into our hearts we can; yes, we must for God’s sake, break down every wall, discharge every debt, and forgive those who have  trespassed against us.

It will make for a Merry Christmas!

__________

Let There Be Peace On Earth

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be
With God as our Father
Brothers all are we
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now
With ev'ry step I take
Let this be my solemn vow
To take each moment
And live each moment
In peace eternally
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me

Jill Jackson | Sy Miller
© 1955. Renewed 1983 Jan - Lee Music
CCLI License # 810055

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