You Want the Keys?

One of the side-splitting scenes in the film, Meet the Parents, occurs when the father of the bride, a former CIA agent, explains his concept of the 'circle of trust' to his future son-in-law, Greg Focker.  The paranoia of that father drove him to constant surveillance of the poor guy who was joining his family. We laugh as we watch because intuitively we know that trust comes from character, not from enforcement! The true test of our values comes when nobody’s watching us. What choices do we make then?

Parents teach their children -"Trust is built over time, destroyed in a moment."  Are any of us perfect?  Of course not. We are prone to failure, liable to make some stupid choices, and likely to succumb to peer pressure at least occasionally.  Trust isn’t a flawless record. It is shaped by honesty about the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives.

Every relationship in our life depends on trust! As we interact with others - be they family members, co-workers, or business partners - we are measuring trustworthiness. Love, alone, is not enough to make us ‘hand over the keys’. There are people in my life that I love wholeheartedly that I would not even let drive my car!

How do we build trust?

1. - We live with integrity.
Trustworthy people get rid of hidden agendas and secret motives. They refuse to shade the truth to favor themselves. Being around people who are deceptive and manipulative is exhausting because we always have to wonder, "What their angle? What are they really trying to do here?" Integrity - that is, being the same inside and out, in reality and appearance, is basic to gaining and keeping the trust of others.

2. - We are humble.
Humility has nothing to do with being a self-hating worm.  It’s about a real grasp of our strengths and weaknesses, knowing when we need help and being willing to ask for it. If we try to do something that is beyond our training or capability, pretending competence- the subsequent failure erodes trust. The next time, the question hangs in the air - "Can he, or will he mess this task up, too?"

3. - We keep our promises.

It is so easy to make a promise. When somebody presses us to do something, even relatively simple, the best way to make them happy is to say, "Oh, sure, I'll do it." So, we are often likely to over-promise and under-deliver. My experience has taught me to generally expect much less from people than they say. It's not because they are morally deficient! It is because in their eagerness to please they over-promise. It is far better to say up-front, "I would like to help you with that, but I don't have the interest to follow through." We trust people who, in Jesus' words, "Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ (Matthew 5:37, NLT)

4. - We are 'other-centered.'
Nobody should trust a person who is selfish. The moment we sense that another is out for his own reputation, serving his own interest, or feathering her own nest- we withdraw our confidence and start to build walls to protect. Only the person who shows real empathy and the capacity to transcend her own interests is trustworthy.

Take a look at your own 'circle of trust' today. Are you trusting people who are trustworthy? Are you a person worthy of trust?

God is seeking faithful people in whom He can invest eternal riches, people to whom He can hand the keys to His Kingdom!
 How does He know those He can trust?  This word from the Word tells us: "Anyone who can be trusted in little matters can also be trusted in important matters. But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in important matters. If you cannot be trusted with this wicked wealth, who will trust you with true wealth?

And if you cannot be trusted with what belongs to someone else, who will give you something that will be your own? You cannot be the slave of two masters. You will like one more than the other or be more loyal to one than to the other. You cannot serve God and money." (Luke 16:10-13, CEV)