Do you bring people together? Are you skilled at creating teams, helping communication by being a good translator? Do you step in where possible to buffer conflict and seek reconciliation? Or, do you polarize people? I am convinced that there are people who just love to keep things stirred up, who enjoy the tensions they create in their family, at work, or in their church. Why? That’s the question in my mind when I see someone unwilling to reach out, seemingly incapable of forgiving the offenses that inevitably come to each of us in the course of life.
Ever read the story of Abigail in 1st Samuel? It’s quite the drama! David, who had been driven to fugitive status by King Saul, gave protection to the wealthy farmers in outlying areas, keeping away marauding bands of thieves. In return, he asked for support for himself and his men. Nabal, Abigail’s husband, was a beneficiary of David’s efforts, but when his men when to get some supplies, Nabal rudely insulted them and their leader, refusing to give them a thing! David took offense! “Strap on your swords!” They all strapped on their swords, David and his men, and set out, four hundred of them." (1 Samuel 25:13, The Message) In his anger, he decided to kill Nabal and every man in his household.
Meanwhile, when Abigail heard from her servants about her husband’s surly behavior, she quickly put together supplies and set out to take them to David because she must have known the probability of retaliation. She met David as he was coming and the speech she made to him is an amazing passage full of wisdom. It’s lengthy, but I hope you will read it with understanding.
“Now since the Lord has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the Lord will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the Lord’s battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live.
Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. When the Lord has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord has brought my master success, remember your servant.”
David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands." (1 Samuel 25:26-33, NIV)
What a model for us in her act of reconciliation!
A. She saw the situation for what it was, not what she wanted it to be.
B. She moved immediately to create a solution, and was proactive.
C. She got involved personally, at great risk to herself, from both David and her husband.
D. She accepted blame and responsibility as she interceded for her household!
E. She encouraged David forgive the past offense by helping him to gain a vision of God’s future promise!
Team builders, people who create peace, enjoy a special status. Jesus said, "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." (Matthew 5:9, NLT) There are multiple opportunities for you to practice peace-making in our world, beginning right where you are.
When disagreements arise, instead of fanning the flames, seek to defuse the bomb by promoting communication, encouraging cooperation.
When someone comes to you who is angry, instead of joining that emotion, wisely attempt to turn them towards peace and forgiveness.
If you’re hurt and ready to fall in love with your offended, wounded spirit, think again! Nothing good ever comes from nurturing an offense. The Bible says, "Don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life." (Ephesians 4:26-27, The Message)
Disciple, remember this – it’s much more difficult to build bridges than walls, but bridge builders are blessed people, true children of God!
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Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen
Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi
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