Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A strange kind of relief

About 6 weeks ago, I learned that there was some abnormality in my body that needed further exploration. Yesterday the doctor told me that my biopsy results were all good, no cancer. I am deeply grateful, praising God. I should be elated, and in a sense I am. But in another part of my mind, I am dealing with a new sense of the inevitability of aging and illness, with this episode being a clear reminder that no day of the rest of my life should be wasted. Is it fear that is creating this urgency? Is it a normal reaction to what I perceive as a kind of ‘near miss’ with serious illness? I don’t really know.

Like many of us who have to keep up with life and responsibilities while we deal with our personal crises, I shelved my emotions. After learning the good news, I thought I could just go merrily on my way. An hour after hearing the doctor’s verdict, an emotional tidal wave hit, from which I am still trying to recover. Have you ever had a nightmare in which tragedy overtakes you, your family perishes or something equally horrible happens? Then, you wake up, and shaking off sleep, you feel a mixture of lingering fear and tremendous relief that it was only a dream! That is my state of mind today.

Why did the Lord allow me to walk this road? To claim to know all of His mind would be wrong, but I know this: He is reminding me to be about the business of the Kingdom of Heaven now. This is not the time to slack off, to get distracted with the temporal things of life. This is His Word to me and my prayer is that it will be renewed to you as well. “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is." (Ephesians 5:14-17, NIV)
Thank you for praying for me in this time. CoffeeBreak will be back next Monday.

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May the Lord’s Presence be part of your Thanksgiving.

"Hallelujah!
Praise God in his holy house of worship,
praise him under the open skies;
Praise him for his acts of power,
praise him for his magnificent greatness;
Praise with a blast on the trumpet,
praise by strumming soft strings;
Praise him with castanets and dance,
praise him with banjo and flute;
Praise him with cymbals and a big bass drum,
praise him with fiddles and mandolin.
Let every living, breathing creature praise God!
Hallelujah!"

(Psalm 150, The Message)

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