I slept restlessly through the first half of last night. My mind kept digging up unfinished business, projects that are demanding attention, ministry demands, people's needs. Against the many needs I saw myself as powerless, unable to change a thing. I’d wrestle with the problems, then drop off to sleep... only to awaken and do it all again. Finally, in the early AM, I prayed a prayer of surrender, of a willingness to 'let go and let God.' It went something like this:
“Lord, my faith wavers right now because I only see myself in this situation and I know too well my inability to control or change the things that concern me. Please give me the courage I need to throw myself into the fight. Give me the wisdom to know to whom I should turn, the vision to know where to lead, and stamina to stand. Help me to conquer unbelief and to live with real joy today.” And, I fell into a deep, restful sleep!
When we get ourselves so focused on our responsibilities that we are weighed down by life we become vulnerable to all kinds of temptation. I am sure that the Devil loves when we mistakenly allow ourselves to think that it all rests on our shoulders, that we must meet the challenges alone. This I know: we are least effective when we are focused only on our own resources, intellectual capacity, or creativity abilities. You don’t have to be a Pastor or leader to feel the pressure. We all deal with seasons of life when challenges pile up, when questions form and for which we have no answer, when others demand more of us than we think we can produce.
In Numbers 20, we read the tragic story of the failure that cost Moses the privilege of leading God's People into the Promised Land. The throngs he was leading through the desert needed water. In their desperation, they demanded the impossible: “Give us water now!” Their thirst and fear drove them to such despair that they attacked Moses and Aaron asking, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt to this terrible place?" They forgot the awful lives in slavery that cost them their sons and daughters! At first, Moses made the right choice. He went to prayer and God gave him the solution: "Go out and speak to the rock and it will pour out water!" However, Moses held onto the sting of the accusations that he was failing as a leader. It led him to resentment that boiled to the surface as he went back before the people who doubted him, accused him, ... and he sinned.
In Numbers 20:10-12 we read, “He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."
In implying that he, not God, was producing the water needed, Moses sinned. It’s so understandable, but God said it was unacceptable! Moses dishonored God by taking too much responsibility on himself! What a powerful lesson for me. Our true Source is Jesus. He is our Rock and from Him pours the waters of a fruitful life. Honor Him by declaring your dependence on Him. Defeat Devilish lies. Destroy the fear that produces restless and/or sleepless nights, by looking to Jesus in humble confession of your dependence. He knows how to make you wise so you can meet the demands of your boss. He knows what you need to meet the needs of your family. He knows what your needs are TODAY.
____________________
Make my life a prayer to You,
I want to do what you want me to,
No empty words, no white lies,
No token prayers, no compromise,
I want to shine the Light You gave,
through Your Son You sent to save us,
from ourselves and our despair,
it comforts me to know You're really there.
Well, I want to thank You now for being patient with me,
Oh, it's so hard to see, when my eyes on me!
I guess, I'll have trust and just believe what You say,
Lord, You're coming again, Coming to take me away.
Make My Life A Prayer
Melody Green © 1978 EMI Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music
Publishing; Admin. by BMG Music Publishing
CCLI License No. 810055
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