Lord, Make Me A Better Lover!

One of the best books I have ever read on the complicated subject of human relationships is titled, Bold Love, NavPress, 1993, written by Dr. Dan Allender. One of his assertions is that 'love is not natural.' I don't like that! We like to think that we are loving, generous, unselfish beings, but a closer look at our lives shows something else to be true. We 'love' easily only when another pleases us, complies with our desires, or makes us happy. When they disappoint or fail us, most of the time we quickly resort to cruel tactics to make them play the game our way, and should that not happen, the relationship dissolves. So much for loving deeply!

Everyone has known the pain of a failed friendship. An angry word is spoken, a misunderstanding blows in like a summer thunderstorm, offense takes hold and becomes a fortress wall. A friend becomes an enemy and the wound goes deep! The love once enjoyed mysteriously turns into a bitter hatred.

Even familial love fails! Sons and mothers do not speak over some relatively insignificant slight. Lovers who once could not stand to be apart for a moment become enemies who actively desire the destruction of each other.

Christians, who follow the Lord of Love, who are taught that love is the mark of a genuine disciple, are capable of ripping each other to shreds over when their traditions are threatened, their comfort impeded, or their beliefs challenged.

Why do we do this?
What makes love so hard?

Allender writes, "There is an enormous drive in the fallen human personality that impedes the process of learning to love and an equally powerful force outside of every person that labors to destroy every effort to love. ... Complacency and presumption work hand-in-hand to blind even Christians to the importance of love and inherent battle involved in learning to love. IF we are to learn to love, we must begin with an acknowledgment that love is not natural and that love's failure is not easy to admit."

Let me rephrase that paragraph! Sin and selfishness work inside of us and the Devil works outside of us- conspiring against love's birth and/or survival. Then, too, there is the false belief that love does not need daily care. Neglect allows it to cool until it dies, all the while we live in denial of the truth!

The only way we learn to love and remain loving is to be renewed constantly in the love of Christ! "We love each other because he loved us first." (1 John 4:19, NLT) Ardent love requires dying to Self. Jesus insists that "No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other." (Matthew 6:24, NLT) We cannot love God and ourselves at the same time. We cannot love others deeply while selfishly serving our own needs, either!

Is love challenged in your life?

Before you form a fist and attempt to force a change, go to your knees! Let the Lord of Love, love you!
Before you pray, "God make them change!" give the Holy Spirit full access to your heart and mind and let Him change you!
Before you walk away, expressing hatred through cool contempt, ask God to help you love others - the same way that He loves you.

Love is a force for change that is more powerful than any weapon ever devised by human beings.

Here's a word from the Word. Meditate on it today.
"My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love-so you can't know him if you don't love.
This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about-not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.
My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other." (1 John 4:7-11, The Message)