At a meeting I attended this week, we spent the first hour in politeness. It was like a carefully choreographed dance of formal introductions, following the agenda, shielding ourselves. Then, as we became better acquainted, the room thawed. People expressed themselves; there were little chuckles, side exchanges between people, and smiles. As I work with that group, our effectiveness will continue to grow as we gain more knowledge of one another. The better I know someone, the more honest I am willing to be with them. With Bev, my wife of 31 years, I can drop the polite niceties of conversation and get to the gut level stuff of communication. If I don't like something, I can tell her. If I'm sad or happy, fearful or confident, buoyant or depressed - I can share it with her knowing that she loves me.
When you pray, does God get to see your true heart's feelings or are you very polite and nice?
Philip Yancey, in his most recent book, Prayer, Does It Make Any Difference?, says that his study of Biblical prayer reveals a much different kind of approach to God than is evident in most Sunday morning worship services in our churches or even in our personal prayer lives. He writes, "The church I attend reserves a time in which people in the pews can voice aloud their prayers. Over the years, I have hard hundreds of these prayers and with very few exceptions, the word polite applies. One, however, stand out in my memory because of it's raw emotion. In a clear, but wavering, voice a young woman began with the words, "God, I hated you after the rape! How could you let this happen to me?" The congregation abruptly fell silent; no more rustling of paper, or shifting in their seats. "And I hated the people in the church who tried to comfort me. I didn't want comfort, I wanted revenge. I wanted to hurt back, I thank you God that you didn't give up on me, and neither did some of these people. You kept after me until I came back to you. Now I ask that you heal the scars in my soul." - {Christianity Today, October, 2006, page 101}
As I read the Bible, I find that those who knew God best prayed some very honest prayers, arguing and demanding a response from God. Moses, who was given the arduous task of shaping a slave people into a nation that would be the people of God, grew angry with their constant complaints and rebellion. At one point this man of God was frustrated beyond measure. He went to prayer and said, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so miserably? What did I do to deserve the burden of a people like this? Are they my children? Am I their father? Is that why you have told me to carry them in my arms—like a nurse carries a baby—to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep complaining and saying, ‘Give us meat!’ I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! I’d rather you killed me than treat me like this. Please spare me this misery!” (Numbers 11:10-15, NLT)
Abraham, when he heard of God's plan to destroy Sodom, prays in a way most of us would find curious at best, and more likely offensive. He starts haggling with God. "Would you spare the city if I can find 50 righteous people in it? How about 40, maybe 30?" “I know I’m trying your patience, Master, but how about for twenty?” “I won’t destroy it for twenty.”" (Genesis 18:31, The Message)
Jesus, in the garden the night before His crucifixion, begged the Father, "Is there another way? Please let this cup pass from me!"
God wants to know us and I am convinced that we do not honor Him by concealing our true feelings and playing nice in prayer! We need to take Jesus' counsel and get alone with God where we can, like Jacob, wrestle with Him! He'll win, but oh, what we'll learn in the process - about ourselves and about Him. He's not intimidated by our hard questions. We only sin if we dismiss God from our lives with an arrogant, "I can do it myself" kind of prayer. There is no sin in asking boldly, in praying honestly, in telling our Lord we're not on the same page, singing from the same hymnal, as He is. Here's the truth - He knows what's hidden in the corners of our mind! When we pray nice and polite prayers the only one being spared the truth is us!
Raw emotions are terrifying, mostly to those of us feeling them. They threaten our sense of control. But, I can say from my own experiences of prayer, when I let go and let myself get angry with God, angry enough to physically tremble, I get up from my face knowing that He's touched me. When I let my sorrow over the sinful and broken lives that I minister to daily turn into a flood of tears while I lay on my face in the sanctuary, I go out with a renewed sense of His comfort. Anyone who saw me or heard me praying in those moments, might well conclude I'd taken leave of my sanity, but God - who knows me better than anyone in the world, loves me through the stormy prayers.
Pray with intensity. Love God by sharing your true heart; with all its sins and grief and joy, with Him. He will love you for it. Here's a word from the Word to meditate on today - "since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16, NIV)
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