On hearing the news of the woman's choice, anger surged through me like an ocean wave. "How could she do this? Whatever is she thinking?" were my more rational thoughts. On a parallel track in my mind played the words I had used to counsel a Believer that same day about choosing to forgive. I had urged that angry person to remember that forgiveness is as much a benefit to the forgiver as the forgiven, that forgiveness requires that we give up the need to be right, or vindicated, or even appreciated. Now I was faced with the challenge of practicing what I preach.
We can find hundreds of excuses to dodge the issue of forgiveness, can't we? "He hasn't apologized." "She needs to face up to what she's done to me." "What about justice?" "He doesn't deserve to be forgiven!" "If I forgive her, what will she learn about consequences of her actions?" Who hasn't said something like one of those comments at one time or another? And there is much merit in each of them, too. Apologies do pave the road of forgiveness. God cares about justice. Learning to accept responsibility for things we've said and done to harm others is a major part of maturity, but none of those statements gives you or me a pass on forgiveness.
Finding the way to forgiveness is a critically important discipline for the person who wants to live like Jesus. He does not give us much wiggle room on the subject. In the model prayer, one phrase is "forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. " (Matthew 6:12, NKJV) And then Jesus explains that we have the power of choice in the matter of forgiveness and that our decision to forgive really matters to God. He goes on to say, “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part." (Matthew 6:14-15, The Message)
From God's forgiveness of those who sin against Him, we can learn much about how to forgive.
- Forgiveness begins with you and me, not the person who has offended us. God extends the offer of forgiveness to us at His own expense. He initiates the process. So must we! We cannot be passive, waiting for someone to seek forgiveness. We must work through our anger, hurt, and offense with God, doing the spiritual and emotional work necessary to forgiveness with the help of the Spirit. Then we will be able to reach out graciously.
- Forgiveness with God is not partial, nor conditional. When He forgives and we accept His forgiveness, there is a wonderful phrase that describes the extent of His forgiveness - "You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!" (Micah 7:19, NLT)
- Forgiveness is a process, not an event. We offend God, He forgives... again and again. Our sins are not to pile up. Instead, His desire is that we live close to Him, with no guilt, no shame, alienating us from His love. In our relationships, we must not wait 'til Christmas, or a birthday, or some family gathering - for example - to decide to 'clean up' the junk that has accumulated. We need to be forgiving, gently finding ways to keep our relationships with others close and safe and trusting.
- Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. God offers forgiveness, but for real reconciliation to occur, we must receive it appropriately with repentance. Finding peace with another person requires the involvement of both, but releasing them from indebtedness to us over an offense is a personal choice!
Are you feuding with someone, feeling offended by another's actions, dealing with anxiety over an unresolved dispute?
Dear friend, it's time to start to forgive. Honestly take your emotions to the Lord. Tell Him how you feel, what you feel, why you think you're feeling that way. Listen for the inner voice of the Spirit and ask Him to help you to find a way to genuine forgiveness. Hand over the offender to the Lord for judgment! No, I don't mean that you should ask God to blast her with some terrible tragedy. Just give Him the issue for His justice. Tell Him that you don't want to carry the load of resentment any longer, that you trust Him to deal justly, that He knows the motives, the reality of the situation better than you do. Then, as Jesus teaches, begin to "bless those who curse you!"
You will find a new sweetness of spirit enveloping you, a sense of health overtaking you, a newly peaceful sleep pattern coming on your nights. In forgiveness you are like your Father in Heaven.
Here's a word from the Word to ponder today:
"Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!"
“For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. But the man fell down before the king and begged him, ‘Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the debt could be paid in full. “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened.
Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart.”" (Matthew 18:21-35, NLT)
Jerry D. Scott, Pastor
Washington Assembly of God
http://www.WashingtonAG.com
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