“It’s just not fair.” The complaint is not just for kid’s games.
When innocent people die because leaders go to war, it’s not fair!
When a good man is falsely accused and his life is ruined, it’s not fair!
When our adult child lies to us and takes advantage of our love, it’s not fair!
When a friend is self-centered, constantly taking, never giving, it’s not fair!
When our spouse bullies us instead of loving us, it’s not fair!
When a friend abandons the friendship without a word, it’s not fair.
And so it goes. Who among us has not experienced a situation when we felt misused,
abused, or poorly treated?
The question for us, Christian, is whether we will take the road to which the Lord Jesus points in those moments, or will we drink the poison of bitterness?
Forgiveness is at the HEART of Christ’s message, God’s forgiveness of our sins and our forgiveness of others. In the Creed we confess “I believe in the forgiveness of sin.” We are not saying “I believe God excuses my choices!” Through Christ, He releases us from guilt and removes the judgment we deserve. There is no fine, no payment plan, no debt remaining.
Our forgiveness of others is modelled on His forgiveness of us. We are asked to assume the cost of releasing that other person from any obligation to us. C. S. Lewis observes “This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life … How can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night "Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us."
Here is the challenge to us in our daily walk with Christ. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4) I hasten to remind us that the Spirit inspired those words to be written to Christians, not the godless. Anger, rage, and bitterness do not just evaporate from our lives because we believe in Jesus! There is a daily choice to let go of Self and to fully release others from the debts they incur, and not just to make excuse for them, either.
God does not ask us to become doormats for the abuse of others, nor does He require that we take a liar at his word again or allow an abuser to repeat his offense. Wisdom requires that we remove ourselves from some situations, but without a need to ‘get even’ or settle old scores. Christians forgive fully by handing the injustice to God and allowing Him to judge perfectly, as He will.
Millions of people are drinking the poison of bitterness everyday and then wondering why their souls are so sick. They are full of resentment, careful to protect their dignity, quick to make sure others know how badly they believe they were treated and then they go to Jesus and ask Him to forgive their own faults, failures, and sins without any sense of irony.
We need to think deeply on His words in the prayer we pray – “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” (Matthew 5) Would you want God to forgive you in the same say, to same degree, that you have forgiven that person who wounded you so badly last year? That is exactly what we pray.
When we turn to Christ Jesus, securing ourselves in His amazing, deep, undeserved love we find the ability to ‘let it go.’ Knowing we are God’s beloved child; we have no need to make sure all of life is fair. He is our peace. He is our joy. He is our hope. I remind you of that text that brings me near tears every time I read it: “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3) There we find the open secret of living the abundant life of which Jesus spoke.
Today, let God love to you to life. Then, offer Him the hurt, the disappointment, the fear that shapes any resentment or rage in your life.
The word from the Word is found in Matthew 18. There Jesus encourages us to carefully seek reconciliation with others. His words confound peter who asks - “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[i] who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”
Drink from the cup of God’s love. Discard the poison of bitterness.
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