“Two can stand back-to-back and conquer.”

“Count your blessings.”  These were the parting words of a friend to me last night, encouraging me to look up. As I lay down to sleep, I did just that. I focused on friends. Out of the dusty corners of my mind a memory surfaced of a man who I knew for just 4 years. 

It was 1988, and I was just starting ministry in my first solo pastorate of a small church in Western Massachusetts. The previous year had been bruising in my life, some dreams dying, much disappointment coming my way. I struggled with anxiety, wondering if I was fit for ministry. Then I met Dean, just a year younger, but as different from me as could be. He was a huge man both in height and girth and I think that his heart matched his size!  His smile and charisma was irresistable. He had grown up in Harlem, knew the streets, and was a recovering addict who had found Christ through the persistent prayers of his mother. At the time I met him, he was a respected and beloved leader in the church to which I was called.

Dean gave me his support and his love, encouraging me and sharing his great heart with me and my family. Every Sunday before I went to lead our worship service, Dean would meet me for prayer. He would put his hand on my back. It was a BIG hand that reached nearly shoulder to shoulder. He spoke to our Father about ‘my pastor,’ words that he said in his own unique way that bespoke love, respect, and genuine care. I looked forward to those prayers in those days, knowing that he was my advocate, hoping for only the best in ministry together.  

Those first years at that church brought numerical growth, healing in my life, and the discovery of a renewed joy in the work of pastoral ministry. On November 15, 1992, a Sunday afternoon, word came that Dean had died suddenly while hunting with a friend. He was just 36 years old. I felt the loss sharply and grieved deeply.

Who’s your friend?
Who loves you, prays for you, stands by you, lends you their influence in shared work?
To whom are you LOYAL beyond the convenience of the moment, becoming persons of one heart and mind?

These days there is a lot of talk in church about the importance of relationships, but in spite of the lip service to community, there is often isolation and loneliness both in the pulpit and the pew. One does not need to be scholar to see the importance of friends in the work of God.

The book of the Acts of the Apostles records the history of the first generation of Christianss. We tend to romanticize their experiences but the truth is that they faced thorny issues, wrestled through conflict, and struggled to exist in a hostile world. Through it all, they stayed connected, gathering regularly on the Lord’s Day when they prayed, talked, fought, and discovered God’s wisdom for their lives.

Peter and Paul were decisive and bold leaders, who had ministry partners - Peter and Mark; Paul and Barnabas. Those two leaders occasionally came into conflict debating the nature of grace and the place of the Law in sometimes sharp, pointed disagreements. Feelings got hurt. Occasionally friendships failed. But, with the help of the Spirit, those early church leaders kept their eyes on the goal and built Christ's Kingdom, together, because they knew the work they did was a shared effort. And, both they and the ministry of Christ was better for their friendship!

The practical wisdom of God reminds us that "Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many counselors bring success." (Proverbs 15:22-23,NLT) Are there those who love you so much that they will stand with you when you fall down, lending hope when you have lost yours? Or, are you attempting life as a "Lone Ranger" trying to live self-sufficiently?

Being Christ’s Body TOGETHER requires the surrender of our ego, a willingness to die to ‘Self,' and a choice to find joy in serving one another. There is so much to gain IF we will build a team and stick with it. Our American ideal is to laud the individual, to tend to admire the ‘super-hero.’  Christians must be different valuing their relationships and making time to strengthening them. Do not discard that person who offers counsel that challenges. Value that person who urges a better choice, another way. 

I pray that in each season of your God will send you a “Dean” a person who will love you and whom you will grow to love. In counting my blessings I remember dozens of people from years ago to the present with whom I have shared the joy of life in Christ. I pray you will choose to do that with others, now and always.

Here is a practical word from the Word. Ask God, the Spirit, to teach you how to build the best relationships.

"Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one;
they get a better return for their labor.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.
But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble.
And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NLT)

(Video of this blog at this link)

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We Will Stand
(This is an older song that Russ Taff does so beautifully.
I hope it encourages you to stand together with other Christians.)

 

 Sometimes it's hard for me to understand
Why we pull away from each other so easily
Even though we're all walking the same road?
Yet we build dividing walls
Between our brothers and ourselves.

 

But, I don't care what label you may wear,
If you believe in Jesus you belong with me!
The bond we share is all I care to see,
And we'll change the world forever,
If you will join with me,
Join and sing, sing.

 

You're my brother, you're my sister,
So take me by the hand.
Together we will work until He comes.
There's no foe that can defeat us,
When we're walking side by side,
As long as there is love,
We will stand!

 

The day will come when we will be as one
And with a mighty voice
Together we will proclaim that
Jesus, Jesus is King.
It will echo through the earth.
It will shake the nations.
And the world will see, see that;

 

You're my brother, you're my sister,
So take me by the hand.
Together we will work until He comes.
There's no foe that can defeat us,
When we're walking side by side,
As long as there is love,
We will stand!

 

James Hollihan | Russ Taff | Tori Taff © 1983 Word Music, LLC (a div. of Word Music Group, Inc.)

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