“Lord, help him to understand he is an idiot.”

Ever had a “difference of opinion” with someone? There are plenty of things to differ over –  some that really matter.  Often the real issue is just ‘what I think.’  A statement as benign as “I think avocados taste like dirt” will bring on a challenge. (Really, I do not care for avocados, but if you do, enjoy!)  Differences often escalate into an argument.  Arguments turn into attacks, attacks end relationships. When all the noise ends, we wonder, “how did it come to this?”   Couples who were once deeply in love find themselves in a lawyer’s office planning a divorce. Christians who were allies for the Kingdom of Christ  no longer even speak. Neighbors build fences.  Nations raise armies for war.

Conflict in human relationship is inevitable. Thinking people will have different opinions. If we will take even a moment to be honest we will recognize that many of our ‘convictions’ are more like our preferences, what we know and where we are comfortable. For the Christian, the real failure is not having different ideas, but refusing to work at understanding and reconciliation. Followers of Christ should be 'in the bridge-building business.'  God's Word teaches us that we must approach conflict differently from the rest of the world.  Power resolves conflict by conquering. The Kingdom of God never advances with guns or fists or even bellicose words!  Scripture directs us to approach others, even those with whom we differ, this way: "Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together with peace. We are all one body, we have the same Spirit, and we have all been called to the same glorious future." (Ephesians 4:1-4, NLT) What a practical passage, but full of challenging concepts: humility, gentleness, patience, tolerance!

Never under-estimate the power of prayer when working through a conflict, be it in your marriage, at work, with a neighbor, in your family, or in the world! What kind of prayers do we pray?  The natural tendency is to ask the Lord to change the other person.  Have you ever prayed something like this?  “Lord, help him to understand he is an idiot.”  Perhaps not with those words, but was the sentiment similar?  Jesus taught us that resolution begins with kind of prayer: "Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you." (Luke 6:28, KJV)  The Message says, "When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person." 

“Get’em God” prayers reveal anger not love. Conflict makes us angry and the Holy Spirit will help us to work through it when we take that anger and/or frustration to the Lord. Confession is the foundation of healing and change.  However, our prayers need to mature beyond “help them to see how right I am” to “Lord, open my ears and my heart. Help me to listen. Be our peace.” 

Bridge-builders must be committed to reconciliation. That does not mean that we give up on the truth or wave the flag of surrender to purchase peace at any price. We patiently allow the truth to mature.  An amazing thing happens when we wait on the Lord in this way.  We change! Humility is a key. Dying to self means we give up our desire to be comfortable – either by walking off or exercising power to win! In constant prayer, we lay ourselves down before Him. When we surrender to Him, the Spirit comes with new life, new love, new peace.

Never forget that just as we can ‘wage war,’ we can ‘make peace!’ Here’s a word from the Word. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9, NIV) “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family." (Matthew 5:9, The Message)

I'm going to be a bridge-builder - with God's help! How about you?

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I found this appropriate to my life today.

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001