Old friend, Guilt; you keep me from sleep

Old friend, Guilt, you keep me from sleep

David, Israel’s king and poet, a man who loved God and yet became an adulterous murderer, tells of the deep pain of guilt: "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer." (Psalm 32:3-4)  I am sure that you have felt that awful pain, too.  Nothing hurts like a guilty conscience.  The pain of shame and guilt are as common as a cold.  Temptation comes. We make a fateful choice. A cruel word is hurled, an immoral choice made, and the sword of the Spirit slashes our conscience. “Why did I do it?” we ask; “What was I thinking?” Not far behind those thoughts comes the fear of discovery. “If I’m found out, what then?”

Have you ever experienced that kind of torment? It takes away sleep at night, steals our appetite for the most delicious food, and even makes music as irritating as scraping of fingernails on a chalkboard in our ears.

All guilt is not bad! Guilt pain is God’s gift that calls on us to come back to right living. Yes, there is false guilt. Our conscience can be damaged, made too sensitive by constant criticism or scarred into uselessness by constant abuse. But, if our conscience is functioning in a healthy way, responsive to the Holy Spirit of God, informed by the truth, we should thank the Lord for the bone-deep ache that comes when we cross the line from right to wrong.
 
That ache that David felt found relief, and so can ours.  How? We make an important decision. Confession! "Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched." (Psalm 32:5-6, The Message) Confession is so hard, yet so liberating! It allows us to experience God’s forgiveness. Often sincere confession will also win the forgiveness of another person, even those we have wronged in the most serious way.
 
But, confession is not the end of the matter. The next step to healing is largely absent in our culture of excuses and blame. We must follow our confession with repentance. Many people want release from guilt. Many even regret what they have done because of the negative consequences, but they feel little need to change their ways! The ancient people of God disobeyed the Lord, knew they were estranged from Him, confessed, but often failed to turn back to Him! They did not want holiness. They only wanted relief. They had no hunger for righteousness. They would not turn around to pursue God. Will you?
 
Joel tells us about real confession and repentance that bring the restoration of our souls. "Come, spend the night in sackcloth, you who minister before my God; … (Joel 1:13, NIV) “Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." (Joel 2:12-13, NIV)
 
Is guilt over sins past plaguing you?
Are you alienated from the Lord who gives you peace, from His church that is your home?
 
If so, mourn your disobedience, but do not stay there! Own your sins, without excuse, without self-justification. Then, accept forgiveness found through Christ and His Cross.   But, grow on! Take the steps that will produce real change of repentance. "God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel: “Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me. " (Isaiah 30:15, The Message)

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Print lyrics

I’m pleading my innocence here
Exposing my arrogance all the while
Hoping that nobody sees
Especially You

I've yielded to all that has cost me
And thrown to the side what is free
And I’m lying if I say that I've figured it out

But maybe this time
The bread and the wine
Will be more than food on my lips

I’m tasting forgiveness
And drinking of mercy
I feast on redemption
Tasting forgiveness

Copyright, Robbie Seay