"Fake Family"

Jen Hatmaker, a blogger I recently discovered, coined the phrase I borrowed for my title. In a poignant, funny, and all too relatable essay she writes about her desire to create the perfect family as she works to integrate adopted kids into her life. She asks if will allow authenticity or fight to control all the eventualities of parenting that would destroy the public image of the ‘fake family?’ Her words  - “Our life is no prototype. If you wanted to find holes in our parenting resume, it would take you three seconds. Any critic or unsympathizer could make a quick list of our faults, hypocrisies, blind spots, and double standards (and then send them to me in a direct message...awesome). It would be so easy. We live a messy life in a messy world.” (see Jen’s blog)

As much as we might give lip service to authenticity, it’s no easy choice. We’re surrounded by air-brushed beauty, are constantly confronted by TV actors whose flaws disappear under the skilled hands of make-up artists, and led by one-dimensional people who manage their images with the help of armies of publicists! I’m not all that sure authenticity is a selling virtue in our fake world.  For example, the preachers on TV make me feel so inadequate. They project such human warmth, have the deft touch to raise millions for hungry kids in Africa, and walk into a large church full of applauding congregants. I’m ill at ease in small talk, fumble through sermons, and preach to a half-empty building every Sunday. Every Monday I seriously wonder if I have what it takes. But who wants to know that?

Richard Foster, author and pastor, observes that "Superficiality is the curse of our age…. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people." (Celebration of Discipline) If we are content to pretend, at any level, we become slaves of our image, incapable of growing deep, or even of true love. Over time blindness to our own hypocrisies will overtake us. Like the Pharisees of old, we will blame those who suffer for their fate refusing to lift a finger to help them reasoning that since ‘they made their own bed, let them sleep in it.’

Sin has consequence. It is true that many people increase their own suffering by repeatedly making stupid, sinful, and/or shortsighted choices. I know! I am one of them! But in bringing renewal our model is not the Pharisee who prayed “I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector!" (Luke 18:11, NLT) We are called to be like Jesus who was perfect, who lived in Heavenly splendor, and who left it all to come and live with us to show us the face of our loving Father. His mission was not to judge, but to save! Interesting, the word in the New Testament that is frequently translated as ‘save,’ is also a word meaning ‘to heal.’  Fake people, in love with their image, cannot save or heal. They can only condemn, careful to keep themselves from feeling their own inadequacies or recognizing their own sins!

The miracle of Advent is not a demi-god who showed up to rain down condemnation on us, but rather that "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. … He came from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14, NIV)  Will you live authentically today, disciple? That does not mean you revel in your failures or sins. Authenticity means you own them and take them to the Savior, the Healer, and let Him lead you through the transformative process that allows the image of God to be renewed in you.

Here’s a word from the Word. It’s a wonderful invitation to all of us who would be authentic. "If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we’ve never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God. I write this, dear children, to guide you out of sin. But if anyone does sin, we have a Priest-Friend in the presence of the Father: Jesus Christ, righteous Jesus." (1 John 1:8-2:1, The Message)

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A pure heart, that's what I long for,

A heart that follows hard after Thee;

A pure heart, that's what I long for,

A heart that follows hard after Thee.

A heart that hides Your Word

So that sin will not come in,

A heart that's undivided

But one You rule and reign;

A heart that beats compassion,

That pleases You, my Lord,

A sweet aroma of worship

That rises to Your throne.

A Pure Heart

Nelson, Rusty

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