Critic or Coach?

“You’re just going to fail!”  That's what I heard, and it stuck like glue. The words pulled me down for days. Criticism is tough to endure. It’s everywhere. Early in life, kids learn the ‘art’ of the put-down; how to use just the right word, tone, and gesture to make another feel the sting of shame. We adults do it, too, all though we are a bit more sophisticated.  When we feel that we are being backed into a corner, we fire back with wounding words. Spouses do it to one another. Friends sabotage, yes and even Christians do it to the family of God. But, anybody can be a critic!

I enjoy watching a good coach in action. He knows how to push the players on his team to maximum performance. He will challenge them by pointing out where they are missing the mark. He will wake up an unfocused player with confrontation. He will correct, teach, and motivate with affirmation. A great coach calls the individuals on his team to a higher level than they even believe they can achieve. Coaching is a skill that requires courage, vision, and patience.

Are you a critic or a coach?
Are you just pointing out failures, expressing your own insecurities by tearing others down?
Are you coaching others to better things in life?

The Christian church needs fewer critics and more coaches. In the book of Acts, one of the early leaders was named Joseph. Over time, we learn that he got a new name, Barnabas. He lifted others up, gave generously, and made every situation better by just being a part of it. So, the apostles called him, Barnabas, which means ‘son of encouragement.’  Joe became Barney! As we aspire to his calling, let’s not confuse empty praise with true encouragement. I have real issues with the current ideals about self-esteem that appear to block the truth. Real encouragement may include correction, helping another see where he is falling far short of his true abilities. However, a genuine encourager is always hopeful, looking for the way to reach higher. Encouragers develop empathy, too. They know when to push and when to pull, when to confront and when to console.

The Scripture tells us to "encourage one another daily." (Hebrews 3:13, NIV) Let’s do it. When we feel the urge to criticize, let’s pause, pray, and think about how to turn it into a coaching moment that ultimately infuses another with hope. When we want to rip into another person for their failure to do what they need to do, let’s take time to think about the best way to match truth and love. Demolishing a structure is easy when compared to building one!

Here’s a word from the Word. I encourage you to own it and live it out today.
"We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, “The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.” Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us.
And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled. May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus." (Romans 15:1-5, NLT)

_________

I was sinking deep in sin,

Far from the peaceful shore,

Very deeply stained within,

Sinking to rise no more.

But the Master of the sea

Heard my despairing cry,

From the waters lifted me;

Now safe am I.

Love lifted me!

Love lifted me!

When nothing else could help,

Love lifted me.

Love lifted me.

All my heart to Him I give;

Ever to Him I'll cling,

In His blessed presence live,

Ever His praises sing.

Love so mighty and so true

Merits my soul's best songs;

Faithful, loving service, too,

To Him belongs.

Love Lifted Me

Rowe, James / Smith, Howard E.

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