I just lost my faith

He was a pastor, a good one, in the past. Today, he’s a filthy-mouthed, cynical, miserable man. I asked him why the change and his response was to the point: “I lost my faith.”  Further conversation revealed that he ran into some disappointing situations that he allowed to grow into bitterness.  In his misery, he turned to a woman other than his wife for solace. When guided to repent of his sin, he refused, angrily justifying himself. In the end, he just claimed to have ‘lost his faith.’  No, he didn’t lose it; he abandoned it. There’s a difference.

For 40 years I have walked with God, through good times and bad. Yet, there are days when I do not sense His Presence. Does that shock you?  I’ll be candid.  There are weeks when I can barely muster the faith to pray a simple prayer of thanksgiving for the food in front of my face, much less a faith-filled prayer for some impossible set of circumstances. This is actually quite normal in the human experience. Fatigue, illness, brain chemistry, and personal choices all effect our ability to sense the Spirit.  Yet, just as I know the sun shines behind the dense layers of rain clouds; I know that God reigns even when I cannot feel Him near. When it looks as though I have mislaid my faith somewhere, I do not fall into despair or disobedience. I could abandon my faith, but I trust Him to keep me. I make the confession: "We live by faith, not by sight." (2 Corinthians 5:7, NIV)

Faith is both a gift of God and a choice we make. Neither part can exist without the other.  God, the Holy Spirit stirs faith in us. But, there we choose to accept and live in it. Mark’s Gospel records an incident in which Jesus cursed a fig tree. The next day when the disciples were passing by they saw it withered and were astonished. “How did that happen?” they wondered. Listen to what Jesus told them. “Have faith in God!” (Mark 11:22, NIV)  The Lord used an imperative voice that places responsibility for faith on the disciples. “You see this thing,” He said, “so exercise faith and believe.” 

 Faith must be nurtured. We know that our bodies will grow weak if we do not fee them. We know that muscles are strengthened when we exercise them. We cannot maintain a vital faith in God if we do not feed faith with the Truth.  The Word reminds us that "faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ." (Romans 10:17, NLT) Then, too, we must choose to build faith by trusting the Lord in ever increasing ways. Many of the decisions that I make at this point in my life are grounded in a faith that would have been beyond me 25 years ago. I saw Christians of great, mature faith who stood without wavering and fearlessly moved ahead and I wanted to do what they. No amount of ‘wanting’ made it real! Faith has grown deeper and stronger through the tests and choices to trust the Lord, each new day.

 You won’t just ‘lose your faith!’ God is faithful, even when we are faithless. But, you can abandon it, neglect it, and let it go dormant; OR, you can feed faith, pray for increased faith and let God lead you to a mature ability to trust Him ‘come Hell or high water.’

 Here’s a word from the Word. Ponder it, pray it, live it!
"In the morning, walking along the road, they saw the fig tree, shriveled to a dry stick. Peter, remembering what had happened the previous day, said to him, “Rabbi, look—the fig tree you cursed is shriveled up!” Jesus was matter-of-fact: “Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, ‘Go jump in the lake’—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it’s as good as done. That’s why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you’ll get God’s everything." (Mark 11:20-24, The Message)