Unappreciated? Misunderstood?

There are not many things that are more painful than giving yourself to the maximum only to be misunderstood and/or misjudged. I recently talked with a woman who gave herself unselfishly, desiring nothing except to serve in her ministry. She got caught in a crossfire of personalities and egos. The tragedy was double – she became a casualty of that sad war and the ministry lost a valuable servant. Her goodness went unappreciated, motives she never had remotely in mind were assigned to her. As we talked, she struggled with guilt, much of it false, wondering out loud if she had somehow done something to cause the upset.

When we find ourselves in those situations where we are misjudged, misquoted, misunderstood, and unappreciated we have two choices – get bitter or get better! Bitterness comes to us easily, almost a self-protective reflex. But bitterness is a poison that is indiscriminate. We cannot pour a cup for another without having it splash into our own soul.

So, how can we get better instead?

It is no cliché to say – “Remember who you’re ultimately serving!” Jesus said that even giving a cup of cold water to a thirsty man or visiting a lonely one is a gift to Him. "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’" (Matthew 25:40, NIV) He knows exactly why we did what we did and never misunderstands or forgets. Sobering, isn’t it? Hopefully, it encourages to do good even when we’re unappreciated.

I remember a night long ago when the motives of my pastoral service were called into question. A man I had loved and trusted, leveled charges against me he honestly believed to be true. He saw only a part of what was going on, his judgment was clouded by other associations. The wounds went deep. I never came closer to making the choice to leave pastoral ministry, to change my career. I remember walking alone in the darkness, with tears streaming down my face, as much from anger as from sorrow. It was not an audible voice I heard that night, but it was the Spirit – clearly – who said, “What does the Lord know about this situation? Has He released you from your calling?” There was great comfort in knowing that He knew all about it. And, I was able to move into a place where I could pursue forgiveness and reconciliation. It was not simple, nor was it easy! There is great freedom in refocusing on the One who never forgets.

We must not return fire, when others fire on us. Whoa, that’s a tough call, isn’t it? I admit it’s easier to write about it than to live it. Our Savior is our example. Peter tells us "If you’re treated badly for good behavior and continue in spite of it to be a good servant, that is what counts with God. This is the kind of life you’ve been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. … He never did one thing wrong, Not once said anything amiss. They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right." (1 Peter 2:20-23, The Message)

We actively seek the good of those who seek our harm. We are not just passive in the face of those who oppose us. Going beyond mere non-response supernaturally we move to bless them. "Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you." (Luke 6:28, NLT)

All of this rests on the secure foundation of the Lord’s love for us and His keen insight. When your soul is battered, your heart is broken, your mind cries out for vindication – go to Jesus’ embrace. He knows the Truth and even if all Hell accuses, it is He alone that makes us right in the sight of the Father.

Here’s a word from the Word. Make it your prayerful meditation today.

"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope in His mercy,
To deliver their soul from death,
And to keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.

Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You." Amen
(Psalm 33:18-23, NKJV