Not quite dead . . .

Last week, headlines of reports implied that “marriage is dying in America.” Well, not quite. Despite the best efforts to convince us otherwise, most Americans still believe in the institution as a man and woman and the they hold onto the ideal of life-long commitment. Many things around the house have changed. In just 50 years, women have reached a place of making nearly as much money as men, and are surpassing men in gaining formal education. This has led to redefined roles within households. Men are much more likely to take a more active role in child care and household chores. Still, 2/3rds of Americans say that the number one qualification for male marriage readiness is ‘being able to provide for his family.’

Marriage has come under severe attack in recent decades. Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family, observes “even the most casual observer or critic of marriage would acknowledge that the institution is too often held in very low cultural esteem. From television to movies to music, the bonds of matrimony are often lampooned as chains that bind and confine as opposed to the great anchor of stability God intended them to be.” (Christianity Today, Nov. 2010) As a pastor, I find that many times even Christians adopt this line of thinking. They allow the dysfunctional relationships that they see causing so much pain to define their perception of marriage instead of extolling the joys that a long-term, stable, loving marriage brings. The Bible tells that we should "Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery." (Hebrews 13:4, NLT)

Before He brought government into being, before there were social organizations, God made man and woman to be one. The family is His plan. Marriage is a laboratory in which the Lord brings us to maturity in character and spiritual development. If we unwilling to do the work of loving our spouse wholly and without reserve, we will not love our God well, either. If we are self-serving, petty, or incapable of reaching for real intimacy (more than sex!) with our spouse; we will almost assuredly be deficient in our love of the Lord, too. "It’s the person who loves brother and sister (We can add, spouse, here, can’t we?) who dwells in God’s light." (1 John 2:10-11, The Message)

The American family is experiencing terrific stress at the present. Changing roles and expectations, cultural ideals about personal happiness, lives that separate partners for days at a time, and less support from extended family are but a few of those stressors. A misunderstanding of the purpose and meaning of marriage causes many to choose their partner unwisely, as well. Sexual attractiveness is a poor substitute for emotional and spiritual compatibility. But, since marriage is of God’s design, we can pray for the Spirit to help us to stand up to these stresses wisely. We make even need to make radical decisions about the ways we live in order to preserve our homes.

Disciple, are you married?
Are you tending your marriage, serving and loving your partner in a way that honors the Lord?
Are you working to grow stronger together adapting to the new demands of each season of life?
Not only does a strong marriage bring joy and health to the husband and wife who share in it, it also blesses and strengthens the world of which they are part.

Here’s the word from the Word. Though it is familiar, invite the Holy Spirit to make it soul food for you today.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:21-33, NLT)