Four months later…

Bev and I visited Dad’s grave yesterday. He’s been gone for 4 months. The cemetery has put topsoil in place and the grass is starting to cover that little scar on the earth’s surface. There’s something symbolic in that, similar to what is happening in my heart. The grief is different these days; less stabbing, more like an ache that comes and goes in intensity. The emotions are different, too. Instead of just remembering Dad in those last hard months when he was so weak and sick, I’m recalling episodes from our life together and feeling emotions that range from sorrow, regret, loss, and even to anger over missed opportunities.

Dad’s death has made me older, not chronologically, but emotionally and spiritually. There is no denying mortality anymore. While Bev and I stood for a few moments at his grave, we both spoke of our own inevitable demise, now much more real given that we are likely entering the last quarter of our race. That might seem morbid, even depressing. For me, it is liberating and creates an impetus for focus. I am much less inclined to do things simply because they ‘ought to be done,’ or because somebody else wants me to do them. I do what I want to do more readily and, of course, I do what I believe God desires me to do. Paradoxically, feeling Heaven closer, makes fully experiencing today more urgent!

I am told that it was a common practice in ages past to keep reminders of mortality close at hand. Many kept skulls sitting in plain view so as not to forget that they would die. Grim? Perhaps, but certainly preferable over our current practice of worshipping perpetual youth and all the foolishness that accompanies that pretense. The teacher reminds us to keep it all in balance. "Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”" (Ecclesiastes 12:1, NLT)

The treks to Dad’s grave are times of renewal! Standing there I thank God for eternal life and I am drawn to "lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." (1 Timothy 6:19, NIV) Legacy, too, takes shape. Dying is not just about gaining heaven, as glorious as that promise may be. It is about who and what I leave behind. I am determined- by the grace of God and the power of the Spirit- to leave no debt outstanding, to faithfully point beyond myself to the Savior.

Here’s a suggestion for you. One of these beautiful days, go visit a cemetery with your friend, your spouse, or maybe alone. Walk among the stones, pausing to read the names and dates. OK, I heard a lot of you just ask, “Jerry, have you lost your mind?” Not at all. Make it a prayer walk, a time to reflect on the priorities of your life. Ask the hard questions of yourself about how you’re living right now. Someday, the book of your life will be closed. God gives us the privilege of writing the text that make the story! Remembering that life here is not forever, will help you to write a better story – of that I am positive.

"Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over. Life as we know it, precious and beautiful, ends. The body is put back in the same ground it came from. The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it. … The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what he tells you. And that’s it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it’s good or evil." (Ecclesiastes 12:6-14, The Message)
_____________

Some day the silver cord will break,
And I no more as now shall sing;
But oh, the joy when I shall wake
Within the palace of the King!

Some day my earthly house will fall.
I cannot tell how soon ’twill be;
But this I know—my All in All
Has now a place in Heav’n for me.

And I shall see Him face to face,
And tell the story—Saved by grace;
And I shall see Him face to face,
And tell the story—Saved by grace.

Saved By Grace
Fanny Crosby, public domain