When God is Silent

For six months since his cancer diagnosis, I have visited my Dad almost weekly. Seeing the way that his strength is sapped, his body weakened, breaks my heart. I awaken at the dawn, lifting him to the Father in Heaven. Seldom do I go to sleep without asking the Lord to be with him and with my mother. And, God appears to be silent! I pray to understand this trial and hear only more silence. I ask for some sense of serenity and feel as though He has ignored my cry! Well-meaning friends assure me that "God has a plan," but right now, even though I know the words are true, they irritate me much more than comfort. Others offer up that "the rain falls on the just and the unjust," a phrase that by this time offers little solace. I long for a word from Heaven, the Spirit's comfort. It is not an intellectual explanation I seek. I long for the touch of the Savior. My faith in God is not in jeopardy. I know Him well and trust Him. It is His silence that is hard to bear.

Ever been there, dear Believer? Seasons like this are named many ways by others. St. John of the Cross called such a time the "dark night of the soul." I have heard others refer to the "dry desert journeying" when the soul is thirsty for God's love. The tempter attempts to turn our focus to ourselves, to make us feel as though we have caused God's silence, and when he succeeds a sense of false guilt is added to our sorrow! In fact, we cannot always know why God is silent and we have only to hold onto His promises while we wait.

David sings of God's silence and his words are a source of comfort for me in the Word. In the Psalms, he writes: "I will praise you with songs. I will be careful to live a blameless life— when will you come to help me?" (Psalm 101:1-2, NLT) In a much more desperate tone, he cries: "Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly. For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers. My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food." (Psalm 102:1-4, NIV)

What then can I do during this dark night?

First is to continue in what He has said to me in the past and in His Word. His present silence does not mean that I should forget to love Him or to love others, the two commands that are the foundation of all the will of God.

Second is to keep my eyes looking to heaven. Should I look to the things of this earth to heal the wound of my soul that can only be healed by His touch? Many is the person who has gone onto the rocks and wrecked their life when they sought some temporary comfort for the distress of their soul.

Third is to go "Steady on, to endure!" This is the directive of the Word for such times. "Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong." (Hebrews 12:13, NLT)

Fourth is to weep, but not allow bitterness to take hold. To question God's seeming absence is no sin. To wonder why we are not able to hear His voice or sense the comfort of the Spirit is quite acceptable. To rail on Him, to accuse Him of being uncaring, unloving, or unjust only creates a place for doubt to flourish and bitterness to take root. The Word warns that from that root of bitterness comes great and troubling discontent!

If you, too, are bearing the silence of God, join me in an earnest prayer for faithfulness! This was what I asked of Him today that He would see my weakness and make it an opportunity to display His power, that He would defend me against the Destroyer and keep me faithful. Ask Him the same. He will do it, for His glory and His own Name's sake. Amen.
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"Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."
O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.

To you, O LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:
"What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help."

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and
clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever."

(Psalm 30:4-12, NIV)