Source of Significance

Mary Kay Ash, the founder of the cosmetics company that bears her name, says "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging around their neck saying, 'Make me feel important!'" Is she right? To a degree, yes. We all like to know that we are valued. Are we egotistical? Perhaps. Are we self-centered? Sometimes. Mostly we desire to be connected to others, to have a place in this world. Where Ash goes wrong is in implying that others can provide that sense of place for us. People whose words and actions declare, "It's all about me," quickly offend others. If we insist that others 'make me feel important,' we will become a very difficult, emotionally needy, unpleasant person to be around!

"But, Jerry," you object, "doesn't everybody love getting an award?" Sure, we do. That is why Mary Kay Ash provides those famous pink Cadillacs to those women in her sales organization that are high producers! People will work hard to win praise. Even my wife's first-graders strive to get a certificate that officially declares they are the best crayon artist in the class. But, there is a big flaw in making recognition and awards the source of significance in our lives. Someone will come along, sooner rather than later, who does it better and they will get the prize. What then? Are we worthless because we are not 'number one?' Awards do not prove our personal worth. In fact, they say nothing about whether we are a good, honest, loving, faithful, or godly human being - factors that are much more important in the larger scheme of life.

The paradox is this - in true self-effacing service we find the deepest significance. When we stop calculating the benefits that might accrue to ourselves and begin to serve others lovingly; our lives take on a spiritual and emotional health that makes us really attractive people! That person who ascends the hill of success by climbing on the backs of others, who turns every situation into a "I win, you lose" competition, who is always writing news releases to announce his accomplishments reveals the shallowness of his soul. His insecurity locks him into a defensive posture that blocks the very kind of affirmation he is so desperately desiring. The person who creates mutually beneficial networks, who helps other succeed by mentoring and empowering, who liberally praises the achievements of those around him, and who does his work without fanfare becomes a person with a strong safety net of soul-affirming connections.

Jesus taught this lesson again and again in different ways. One time the men he was preparing to lead the Church were fighting about their relative importance. When Jesus realized how much this mattered to them, he brought a child to his side. "Whoever accepts this child as if the child were me, accepts me," he said. "And whoever accepts me, accepts the One who sent me. You become great by accepting, not asserting. Your spirit, not your size, makes the difference." (Luke 9:47-48, The Message) On another occasion when the mother of James and John came to Jesus asking for a place of high position for her sons in the Kingdom, Jesus surprised them. "You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:25-28, NLT) Why do we love Jesus so much? Because He loved us so selflessly!

He points the way to a life that wins the only approval that matters - that which God gives. "He who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matthew 10:38-39, NKJV)

Does your life send mixed messages? Are you saying, "love me, affirm me," while standing there with your fists clenched, daring anybody to try to take away your stuff? Are you building fences around yourself trying to hang onto a little place of importance and then wondering, "why do I feel so isolated from others?"

Let Jesus love you! Open your arms to embrace others. Tear down the fences and give your stuff away, trusting God to take care for your needs.

Amazingly, the less you care for yourself, the more deeply you will find yourself cared for!
_____________________________

Make me a servant,
Humble and meek.
Lord, let me lift up
Those who are weak;
And may the pray'r
Of my heart always be.
Make me a servant.
Make me a servant.
Make me a servant today.

Make Me A Servant - Kelly Willard
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