Wrestling with God

Sometimes our old sinful nature hangs on doggedly and, like Jacob of old, we wrestle with God. I spent most of yesterday in a conflict with the Lord, unwilling to just 'let it go' for God's sake and as a result, dropped into bed last night weary- not from work, but from wrestling! Some spiritual issues are resolved quickly. One temptation to serve myself presented itself to me early yesterday and I immediately prayed, "Lord, here it is. Please take this from me today." He did and it was gone. Another issue found a place in my mind and dug in for a long struggle. Was it God's fault that I spent a restless day? No way. A part of me knew that what I needed to do was to die to self, but another part of me was determined to have my own way in the matter.

"If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it." (Matthew 16:25, NLT) is what Jesus teaches us. What does He mean? That "Me" must never be the reference point for the way we live. All decisions must trace back to His will. This requires self-denial. The word is an uncompromising one: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23, NIV) Self-denial is not self-hatred! The Gospel does not teach us to that we must kill our personality or become mindless drones to please God. But the Lord does require us to surrender ourselves totally to His will, to place ourselves at His disposal. By faith we accept that we can live a God-blessed life that is marked by the fruit of the Holy Spirit if we make a practice of daily surrender. Yesterday, on that single issue, I refused God's will. That is precisely why I spent my day in an exhausting internal struggle.

Jesus offers each of us a 'rich and satisfying life.' (John 10.10 NLT) The paradox is that we find it through dying! Every part of our natural mind screams for survival and free expression. The world around us teaches us to seek power and many methods of controlling the world to assure that our 'needs' are met. And, in a limited way, a selfish life produces some happiness, for a short time. But, Self is never satisfied. When one plateau of self-realization is reached, Self drives us to grab for more... and more ... and more.

All the while, in the heart of the Believer, the Spirit is whispering, "Come and follow me and I will give you life to the full." The choice always belongs to you and me. God has given us the gift of Will and allows us to choose Him or lesser gods. The Enemy of God is a deceiver who creates an attractive illusion around self-will and sin. If we give him an inch, he always take a mile. That is why we must pray, as Paul does, "that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you..." (Ephesians 1:18, NIV)

Dallas Willard, who writes extensively on the subject of spiritual formation, observes: "As we keep before us the clear and forceful vision of Jesus and his kingdom, we make daily progress. Our personality becomes increasingly reorganized around the Kingdom of God. Our self-denial moves beyond tentative and intermittent acts, to a settled disposition and character. At first we must very self-consciously deny ourselves. We must work at reject the preeminence of what we want... but when we do this, we discover surprisingly specific motions of God's grace in and around to guide and strengthen us.... and we will eventually come to live in a way described by St. Francis - as one who 'wears the world like a loose garment, which touches us in few places and there, lightly.' " (Revolution of Character)

Are you wrestling with God today, trying to convince Him to let you have your own way?If so, you are robbing yourself of peace and joy.

Whatever the issue is, big or small, take it to Him and lay it down at His feet. Learn the prayer of the Lord Jesus, and utter with deep faith, "Not my will, but yours be done!" And the Spirit will step in to empower you to choose life.

Die to live! That's the way of the Cross, the way to eternal life.

"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up." (Hebrews 12:2-3, NLT)

"So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong. Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." (Hebrews 12:12-15, NLT)