So, have you ever been offended? Silly question, right? Everybody gets mad at somebody, sometime. Wives make their husbands angry. Husbands leave the toilet seat up! Neighbors get angry and build fences. Nations make war. We human beings are offended - constantly, it seems. Too many times to count, I have found myself with a pounding heart, gripped with anger, over some perceived encroachment in my life by another. The source of the offense can be something as trivial as a person who drives too slowly in the fast lane on the Interstate highway. The larger question is not - will I be offended, or even why am I offended? The truly important issue for us as Christ's followers is - how will I respond when I feel offended? The Bible says, "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression. " (Proverbs 19:11, NKJV)
As I shepherd God's people, the one thing I do as much as any other is soothe people's ruffled feelings! When marriages hit a rough spot on life's road, I work with the couple to help them discover a way back to harmony. When Believers disagree, I attempt to create a sense of shared vision once again. And let me tell you the real truth - sometimes the very fact that someone in my flock has taken offense, offends me! How's that for a complicated mess? I feel the stir of irritation, from time to time, thinking - "how could something so relatively unimportant become such an issue to her?" Then, I recall my own times of offense, when sleep has been robbed, when I have found myself thinking unholy thoughts about another. And, with distance and perspective I, too, see how those troubled moments were the result of some little issue, unworthy of the depth of emotion I invest in it!
Offense almost always grows in self-love, self-concern; doesn't it? Yes, of course, I've heard about 'righteous indignation.' And, I've read about Jesus' anger when He cleared the money changers out of the Temple, offended at their blatant greed and abuse of people who came to worship. But, our offense is seldom about such weighty issues, is it? We get worked up because someone parks in our spot, sits in our pew, fails to show expected appreciation for our service, and/or fails to meet our expectation in some way or another. All this is a symptom of a greater need, to feel that we have worth, that we are valued. That's a legitimate need. But how we meet it is important. If we gauge our personal worth by measuring the response of other people to us, we will spend inordinate amounts of time angry or in despair. People are often insensitive or just plain thoughtless. They will fail to appreciate or even see our contribution to their lives.
As we mature, both emotionally and spiritually, we develop genuine self-esteem as we come to understand the strengths and weaknesses in ourselves. We learn how to 'fit' in our place in this world, accepting who we are and needing less and less affirmation from others in order to feel 'worth.' The key to this serenity is the love of God! The great message of grace is that God, because of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins, forgives us, removes our shame and guilt, and restores our dignity. We, who were broken by sin in ourselves and by the sins of others, are called 'children of God!' And we are not just tolerated kids, either. We are His beloved sons and daughters. Here is the kernel of truth about this. The more we are filled with the Spirit of God, the less we will grow offended.
Pondering John's letter to Believers this morning, I saw again, how important it is for me to receive God's love for myself. He writes, "See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don’t know God, so they don’t understand that we are his children. Yes, dear friends, we are already God’s children, and we can’t even imagine what we will be like when Christ returns. But we do know that when he comes we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is. And all who believe this will keep themselves pure, just as Christ is pure." (1 John 3:1-3, NLT)
As he develops the thought, inspired by God's Spirit, John reaches this conclusion - "This is the message we have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. We must not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what was right. So don’t be surprised, dear brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to eternal life. But a person who has no love is still dead. Anyone who hates another Christian is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them. We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters." (1 John 3:11-16, NLT)
In summary, what John teaches us is this - "to the extent that we are in the love of God, we will express love to others." If we are constantly offended, it should signal a basic spiritual need to us; a need that cannot be met by any living person, but that can be completely met by God, who is Love Personified.
Does she make you crazy? Does he drive you over the edge?
Not really, friend. Those are responses we choose. Let God love you today. Take His grace to heart.... really!! And you will find yourself at peace- loved, and therefore, loving. "There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first." (1 John 4:18-19, The Message)
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How Deep The Father's Love For Us - Townend, Stuart
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away,
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory.
Behold the man upon a cross.
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life -
I know that it is finished.
I will not boast in anything,
No gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart,
His wounds have paid my ransom.
© 1995 Kingsway's Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing) CCLI License No. 810055
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