From ‘me’ to ‘we’

Chris, Sara, Riley, and I met in my office. Riley was rude, making outbursts, demanding attention. He made conversation nearly impossible at times. At one point I tried to address him and he made faces at me along with a most disconcerting outburst of displeasure. He was incredibly self-centered, which was all right with the rest of us in the room because he is 6 weeks old! An infant is expected to be selfish. We do not have a problem with a baby’s cries for food. Riley’s needs were paramount and it would not have mattered who was in the room.

One of the painful lessons of growing up is learning to share! When a group of 2 year old children play together, you hear ‘That’s mine, give me that!’ They have a limited ability to share their toys. By age 4 or 5, a well-trained child has learned to respect others, knows when to be politely quiet, how to say, ‘please,’ and to share - well, most of the time. When I do pre-marital counseling, meeting with a man and woman who are contemplating a life together, one of the key concepts we discuss is that now is the time when they each make the switch in thinking from ‘me’ to ‘we.’ Time, money, privacy – are no longer exclusive property. A successful marriage grows in the soil of mutual respect and unselfish meeting of each other’s needs. As long as Tom thinks that his overtime money is for his toys, that his weekends are for time with his buddies, he is stealing from his wife. As long as Joy thinks that she can maintain a life that is separate, making her own choices without talking them over with her husband, she is ripping at the unity of her marriage. ‘Me’ must become ‘we’ in everything. Putting another’s needs first is a mark of maturity.

Believer, this is a key concept for the Christian life as well! Repeatedly, the Scripture reminds us that we are called together into the Body of Christ. While we often speak of Christ Jesus as a ‘personal Savior,’ in keeping with our cultural exaggerated sense of self, the truth is that without close, deep, and intimate ties to other Believers, we will never find the greatest joy in our Christian experience, nor the highest effectiveness in our service. The Bible explains our interdependence with this metaphor- the human body. Gaze for a moment at your hand. It has a distinct purpose, a critical function, doesn’t it? But if your hand were severed from your arm, it becomes utterly worthless!

Paul draws out the comparison at length, pressing on us the importance of the Christian community."If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it. But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance.
For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of.
An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own.
Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, “Get lost; I don’t need you”? Or, Head telling Foot, “You’re fired; your job has been phased out”? As a matter of fact, in practice it works the other way—the “lower” the part, the more basic, and therefore necessary. You can live without an eye, for instance, but not without a stomach. When it’s a part of your own body you are concerned with, it makes no difference whether the part is visible or clothed, higher or lower. You give it dignity and honor just as it is, without comparisons." (1 Corinthians 12:17-23, The Message)

Are you a big baby? Do you make outbursts of protest the moment you think your needs are being overlooked? Do you demand that others pay attention to you, now? Do you think that the world revolves around YOU? It’s time to grow up.

The call of God is that we "Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness…." (2 Timothy 2:22, The Message)

Here’s a word about the mark of maturity. Take it with you today.
“… I show you a more excellent way. … Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 12:30-13:7, 11 NKJV)

Now, let’s start to change our thinking from ‘me’ to ‘we.’