Dealing with Disappointment?

Missed expectations, irritating circumstances, miserable people, tragedy... the list of causes for disappointment is a long one. Disappointment ranges across a wide spectrum of emotions - the awful to the merely unpleasant. Finding out that the person to whom you're married has been unfaithful is a kind of disappointment that is entirely different than discovering that you don't like the dinner you just ordered at the Olive Garden! Disappointment can turn us into angry people, or reduce us to cynicism if we do not deal with it as we should. So what to do with life's disappointments?

We can just insulate ourselves. I think I first read the following line in Peanuts, the cartoon strip - "Blessed is the man who expects nothing for he will never be disappointed!" Withdraw from life. Never take a risk by loving anyone. Never pray a prayer asking for the 'impossible.' You will save yourself some disappointment, but is that really how you want to live- safely insulated from both joy and sorrow hiding away from real life?

We must learn to forgive!
Forgiveness, in one sense, is releasing others from our demand that they act in ways we approve or like. This week, I wrestled with angry disappointment intensely for a couple of days. A person acted in a way towards me that was... well, let's just say, their actions were about as pleasant as sand in my teeth! As long as I remained in the grip of that anger, I had no peace. But, through prayer, I came to a place where I chose to forgive. The situation is not resolved, but I have released it to God's judgment. (I hope I can leave it there! Know what I mean?)

Forgiveness IS NOT telling another, "Ah, forget it. What you did or did not do doesn't matter." That's not true. When a person fails us, breaks our heart, rejects us, or harms us -- it does matter! Our disappointment is real. Trying to convince ourselves that our real emotions are not important or that they are not real, only deepens our internal conflict and anger.Forgiveness is a choice to turn to God's Spirit and seek His help in taking down Self, surrendering our pain to God and allowing Him to enter into our lives with wisdom, peace, and ultimately - here or in eternity - with justice. When we release that person who has disappointed us to God's court, we find freedom from the anger, hatred, and bitterness that often accompanies disappointment. Jesus, when teaching his followers about prayer, reminded us to pray ... Matthew 6:12 "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors....15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

We learn acceptance of circumstances beyond our control. AA taught me the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and
supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

Jesus told us to live with the humility of a child, taking each from God, deeply trusting His purposes and plans. When disappointment comes, one of the first casualties is often faith. "How could God allow this to happen to me?" Let me suggest a slightly different prayer... "Why is God allowing this to happen to me?" The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." NLT Proverbs 3:5-6

The bitterness of missed expectations is sweetened when we set our ultimate hope in the Lord! That familiar promise found in Isaiah 40:30-31 reminds us that: "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

In this broken world, full of sin and hatred, of war and terrorist threats, of uncertainty about tomorrow - we can be people of hope. No, not a naive and silly hope that will not see life as it is, but a hope that sees beyond today and trusts in God's promise to make all things right. And so we pray, ever more earnestly, "May your Kingdom come, and Your will be done - on earth, as it is in Heaven." Amen.
_________________________

Thanks for the birthday greetings! I received so many emails and appreciated the humor, the affirmation, and the love each one brought my way yesterday. God be with you and bless YOU today.