"I'm offended!"

Not long ago, I came to a car attempting a left hand turn across a busy highway at an intersection that was marked 'no left turn.' Thinking perhaps the other driver had not seen the sign I sounded the horn, not a blaring blast, just a gentle 'toot!' and pointed to the sign. The other driver abandoned his quest to make an illegal turn and proceeded to chase me for a few miles. I slowed to just let him pass, but he wouldn't. Instead he drove alongside of my car, waving, shouting, and making obscene gestures. I smiled, waved, and continued to drive, commenting to my wife that that man must have been having a bad day! I knocked a chip off of his shoulder, for sure.

Got a 'chip on your shoulder?' Some say this phrase dates back to medieval times when a knight would place a piece of wood on his shoulder and dare anyone brave enough to challenge him, to knock it off! Occasionally, the chip was knocked off accidentally by the jostling of a crowd but the hapless person who knocked it off was faced with the nearly impossible task of trying to explain he did not mean to provoke a fight.

In my role as a Pastor I am called to be a peace-maker. It amazes (even amuses) me, sometimes, how worked up people can get over the most minor of perceived slights. Some of us are so insecure, we walk around seeking offense - daring someone to even appear to 'diss' us (slang term for showing disrespect) so we can work up our hurt feelings and become the center of attention for a few moments, at least. I've had to work with Christians who were offended by situations such as: "He failed to greet me in church!" "She didn't extend a return invitation to dinner after I had her to dinner." "Her son called my son stupid." Yes, these are situations where courtesy failed, where someone was overlooked, but are they really a reason to call attention to yourself?

Things that set us off are often obscure or meaningless to others. When my brother, Andre', was little, about age 6, he hated to be called a 'green pig.' Of course, being 5 years older, I took delight in calling him a 'green pig,' just to hear him wail. Why did he hate that silly phrase? Who knows? I would even imagine he doesn't remember it today, but it was a sure way to offend him in 1966! Call him a 'green pig' today and he'll laugh and wonder if you're crazy. Are you letting obscure things cause offense, even when others have no idea what or why is causing your distress?

I've heard dozens of variations in the complaint over this "offense:" "I was sick and missed church for two weeks and no one called to see how I was doing." A couple of things make that complaint of offense particularly interesting - often it comes from someone who is so marginally involved, who contributes so little to the life of the church that, indeed, their presence was not missed. They could change that by becoming a participant instead of a spectator. The other factor that makes that complaint curious is that these people universally don't call to let anyone know they're in need! It would be funny, if it weren't so pathetic.

But, then, I remember times when I have allowed offense to take root in my heart over equally inconsequential things. Offense is not just a human relationship issue; it is a spiritual issue! I have realized that I am much more likely to be offended when I am not walking in close fellowship with the Holy Spirit. I am convinced that the Evil One likes nothing better than to stir controversy between people - in marriage, in ministry, in neighborhoods, in churches, even in families. Why? Because an offended person is capable of sowing chaos that can ruin good organizations, that can cause close groups to disintegrate. The Devil spotlights the failure, the lack of simple courtesy, or even the intentional digs that we deal with and we become convinced that our honor and dignity is at stake. Ironically, the more focused we become on preserving our honor, the less honorable we are! There is great dignity displayed by the person who simply refuses to take offense. The Bible says, "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression. " (Proverbs 19:11, NKJV)

Secure your heart in the Love of God!
Let His Word convince you how much you matter to Him.
Then, learn to refuse offense. When the Evil One whispers- you're being 'dissed,' - you can silence his chatter in a moment if you know the depth of the Father's love. Learn to forgive readily, as befits one who is forgiven so much by Jesus. In this you please the Lord and become a person who creates harmony, unity, and peace to the glory of God.

And here's a word from the Word to take with you today --
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier.
Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing.
Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” (Luke 6:37-38, The Message)