As Tuesday evening came, Bev left. The children and I
gathered ‘round her and waited: helpless and hopeful. As I held her, her heart
fluttered, her breathing slowed and then, she was gone. One moment the body was alive, the next,
lifeless. As I laid my head on her tiny frame, my own heart felt like it would
stop.
Grief stalks me, catching me like prey in a lion’s claws. It mauls me and
leaves me battered. I dread the coming hours. We will carry that body to the
top of the mountain and tenderly place it in the ground. I will hear words I
have spoken at hundreds of gravesides – “ashes to ashes, dust to dust … in the
certain hope of the Resurrection” and it will be The End.
Except that it isn’t! Bev lives. “Oh, yes,” you say, “she
lives in her children, in our memories.” True enough. Even as I write memories
interrupt me, pulling my thoughts to years past and places we knew. But, when I say she lives I mean it in fact. Bev
is gone but not like a flame extinguished. Her body is lifeless, but the spirit
lives in the Presence of God. I am not
just dreaming that so I can avoid ‘reality.’ Jesus came to Bethany to meet two
sisters who were grieving and angry. “We called you to come to heal our
brother,” they told Him, “but You did not! Now, he is dead, buried four days!”
Jesus gave them a miracle I do not expect, raising Lazarus from the grave. In the middle of that story, He made a
declaration that I am holding onto today. “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone
who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and
believes in me will never ever die.” (John 11:25-26, NLT)
In faith I receive the Word, inspired and hopeful, where I
read that "if earthly tent we live
in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not
built by human hands. … For while we are
in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed
but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be
swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and
has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore,
we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we
are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight." (2
Corinthians 5:1-7, NIV)
Yes, at this moment, I would prefer to have Bev’s ‘earthly tent’ still intact! I loved that
beautiful assortment of carbon atoms in which her spirit lived for 61 years.
But, I am comforted by the knowledge that she is no longer in a temporary
dwelling, but is at home in the Father’s house, a ‘heavenly dwelling.’ She is
eternal, beautiful in a way I can scarcely imagine, and beyond the reach of
suffering and death.
So, I will bury her body today with tearful hope. I will
leave it to decay, trusting in the mystery of faith, that in some glorious
moment, the trumpet will sound to announce the end of time and God will
reassemble and resurrect that body to complete the work of salvation. "The
dead will be up and out of their graves, beyond the reach of death, never to
die again. At the same moment and in the same way, we’ll all be changed. In the
resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken
off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the
immortal.
Then the saying will
come true: Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word, oh,
Death? Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now? It was sin that made death so
frightening and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, its destructive
power. But now in a single victorious stroke of Life, all three—sin, guilt,
death—are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ. Thank God!" (1
Corinthians 15:52-58, The Message)
So, for now, until my life is over, I must deal with the
sorrow and the loss that her dying has left to me. Gradually, I suppose, the ache will lessen
and memories will recede, emerging occasionally to make me cry. I will see reflections of my Bev in our
children. I will dream of her. I will be reminded of her in a hundred ways each
day. And, I will hope, ready for that day when my own earthly tent will be
folded up and laid in the ground and my spirit will slip through a rip in time
and into the Presence of God to live in a house not made by human hands! Oh,
Glorious Day!
How Great Is Our God
The splendor of the
King,
Clothed in majesty,
Let all the earth
rejoice,
All the earth rejoice!
He wraps Himself in
light,
And darkness tries to
hide,
And trembles at His
voice,
And trembles at His
voice.
How great is our God;
Sing with me,
How great is our God;
And all will see how
great,
How great is our God!
And age to age He
stands
And time is in His
hands;
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End.
The Godhead -three in
one-
Father, Spirit, Son-
The Lion and the Lamb,
The Lion and the Lamb.
How great is our God;
Sing with me,
How great is our God;
And all will see how
great,
How great is our God!
Name above all names,
Worthy of all praise,
My heart will sing,
How great is our God!
Chris Tomlin | Ed Cash | Jesse Reeves
© 2004 sixsteps Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)
CCLI License # 810055