My fickle heart

Yesterday around 7 AM I was praying in the sanctuary before the church services as I customarily do. Music was playing in the background and I became aware of the lyrics of the song which spoke of loving Jesus whole-heartedly because there was nothing in life that compared to knowing Him. The song said that "all I have in You is more than enough!" Nice song, but is it true for me? That's what I asked the Lord as I prayed. "Jesus, am I really content with knowing You? If I found myself going through a Job-like experience, where my family, my home, my reputation, my stuff - were stripped away from me, would I still sing, all I have in You is more than enough?" It was a difficult prayer to pray. The growing realization that there is often a gap between my expression of love and experience of devotion was not all that pleasant, either.

The Holy Spirit made me face the fact that I have a fickle heart that sings of loving Jesus, but that is also captivated by the Circuit City ad for an HD TV. I don't mean to set up an either/or situation for those of us who are followers of Christ. We don't necessarily have to choose between an HD TV set or Jesus! Sincere Christians can have nice homes, cars, and goods. We are not all called to vows of poverty or monastic lives. But we must all wrestle with the question that Jesus put to Peter there on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. As He gestured toward the fishing boats, the familiar surroundings of Peter's life, He asked - "Do you love me more than these?" (John 21:15)

The rich young man who came to Jesus asking about gaining eternal life was told - "Go and sell all that you have, then, come follow me!" The man left Jesus sad because, "he had great wealth." He loved his stuff and his status. In the moment of testing, what he loved most became evident as he choose his stuff over Jesus! The rest of the passage grips me, for I, too, am a rich man comparatively speaking. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. I say it again—it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked. Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”" (Matthew 19:23-26, NLT)

I cling to that final phrase as my hope as I deal with my fickle heart -'with God all things are possible.' I cannot save myself, nor can you. We cannot do enough to prove to ourselves the depth of our love and devotion. We can only pray that He will keep us faithful, day by day. We can only respond to the leading of the Holy Spirit in this moment, and rest in the fact that we have obeyed today. He will save us from ourselves tomorrow. Yes, I do love Him. How much? Truthfully, only God knows!

Let me encourage you to think and pray about your love for Jesus and the things of God today. I believe He is asking us - "Do you love me more than these?" Watch out! Don't compare yourself to others. God does not ask you or me, "Do you love Me more than Sam or Sally loves Me?" Each of us must examine our own heart, then we present ourselves to Him. He asks different sacrifice from each one - according to His will. And He rewards our faithful obedience to Him, not to the rules and expectations of others.
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Spirit of God
Descend upon my heart,
wean it from earth,
through all its pulses move.
Stoop to my weakness
mighty as Thou art,
and make me love Thee
as I ought to love.

Hast Thou not bid us
love Thee, God and King?
All, all Thine own --
soul, heart, and strength and mind.
I see Thy cross --
there teach my heart to cling,
O let me seek Thee
and O let me find.

Teach me to love Thee
as Thine angels love,
Only holy passion
filling all my frame.
The baptism of the
heave'n descended Dove,
My heart an altar,
and Thy love - the flame.

Title: Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart
Author: George Croly
Copyright: Public Domain