Friday, August 01, 2008

Dad and me at 2 am

My Dad has been living with cancer since January of this year. By the grace of God and with a strong will to live, he's defied predictions and suppositions of medical professionals. It's been a long road for Mom and him; one that none of us in the family would willingly choose. What I am about to write should not be read as sugarcoating of the bitterness of life's end! All things considered, I'd prefer a healthy father today. Nor is it my style to put on rose-colored glasses to improve the gloomy outlook! Dying is an ugly business even when there is the assurance that 'though a man die, yet shall he live!' (John 11.25)

But there is a preciousness in love to be found in the starkness of the moments when nothing else matters that can make the pain bearable. I have observed that love from a Pastor's place many times when offering spiritual care to others. Now, I am experiencing this amazing love first-hand. The love I experience for my parents is poignant, piercing me with stabs of incredible pain, but which I would not trade away.

On Thursday 'round 2 am, I relieved Mom at Dad's bedside and found him wrestling with the spectre of his mortality, with the questions about the 'valley of the shadow of death' that we all ask as we look over the edge of time towards the unknown. I sat down and put a pillow on my lap where he laid his head - the father becoming the child of the son drawing comfort from being held and soothed. Tears silently coursed my cheeks and I listened to his soft, raspy voice as he told me stories of God's grace, ministry partners now gone ahead to Heaven, and victories won. I wept with him as we talked of unfinished plans and hopes deferred. Though he knows the Word, I shared again the promise of eternal life, of the safety of the embrace of Christ and felt him relax. In the darkness of that hour, there was a quality of love that is almost too holy to talk about. There were not just two of us in that room. There was a Third! The Holy Spirit of God stood watch alongside of us, breathing His benediction on two ordinary sinners, held in the grasp of their Father.

Only God knows if Dad has two hours, two days, two or ten years on this side of the River but, the hours we shared last night will stay with me for the rest of my life. If God should call me to walk a similar road at some point in time, I can only hope that my sons and daughters will find the same solace in an amazing kind of love that I have been blessed to find in these recent months.

Live in love, dear Believer. Don't allow the ersatz shallow 'like' of pleasant, but untested, relationships to be your only definition of love. Don't let the contemporary infatuation with sex, the bursting fireworks of physical attraction, deceive you into thinking that is all there is to love. Don't run from sorrow, hide from pain, or escape into diversions from what's real. Instead, let God take you to places where love grows in the rich soil of pain, watered by tears, producing new depth of character and where He gifts you with a love of an entirely unexpected quality. The love of the Cross of Christ, a love that grew in blood and pain, has a new kind of meaning for me. My Dad's cancer has been a kind of cross for us birthing a new kind of love. A cross will find you, dear friend. May it be a place where you are graced to know new love, too.


"Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken." O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed." (Psalm 30:4-7, NIV)

"Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help." You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever." (Psalm 30:10-12, NIV)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Serving a Sunday School Jesus?

It was a tough conversation. She was disillusioned. The picture of "Jesus" she formed growing up in church was not matching up to the experience of Jesus Christ in her adult life. In Sunday School, Jesus was a smiling Man, surrounded by happy children. He was painted in pretty pictures that showed Him doing nice things for people- feeding the hungry, healing the sick. And that is as it should be for little children, for those things are true. However, there is more to Jesus than "nice." He also allowed His friend - John, the Baptist - to be beheaded, which made many wonder about who He really was. Instead of sweeping aside the Romans who subjugated His Jewish people, He let them nail Him to a Cross. It's a long way from the Nice Man holding kids on His lap in a Galilean field to the horrific image of a bloodied Messiah crying out - "My God, why have you forsaken me?" But both images are true!

My young friend was in a faith crisis as she discovered a different face of Jesus; the Lord of Life, who did not produce miracles on demand, who allowed friends to die, and who required costly decisions of those who would follow Him. She wondered, and I admire her candor, "Is He real? Does He care? Is He there?" I could empathize with all those questions. I was there once, too. I pray that she is able to let go of the "Sunday School Jesus" and move into a deeper faith that lets her experience the mysterious romance of knowing the Lord of Glory who often refuses to do what we think He should do.

Many Believers never do let go of the childish ideas about God! They persist in thinking of Him as a nice Papa, who dispenses gifts to His good children, who protects them from all pain and suffering. Wouldn't that be great, if only it were true? Timothy Stoner writes this provocative thought: "When I'm struggling to figure out God, I have to remind myself to begin with this simple premise: An infinite mind will pose a bit of a challenge for a finite little mind like mine. We should not be surprised if He doesn't fit into any of the tidy compartments we've crafted or the stereotypes our culture has conditioned us to embrace." (The God Who Smokes, Navpress, 2007) God says of Himself- "I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create calamity; I, the Lord, do all these things." (Isaiah 45:7, NKJV)

God is good, but on a different scale than we often conceive. He desires that we know Him as our one true desire, and He is more than enough. Here's the real issue. Will you and I let go of a God we have created in our image? Will we allow Him to be truly God, in all His majesty and mystery, or will we insist that He operate within our logic and play by our rules even though we don't even do that very well? If God is puzzling you today, or if you're angry with Him for not giving you what you want right now, or if your faith is shaky - ponder the wisdom of Psalm 73. This passage takes us through the mind of a man disillusioned, afraid, and angry. He saw the evil prospering while he struggled despite doing right things. He felt as though serving God was all foolishness; until he factored in eternity! In humble worship, he chooses to let himself remain without explanations for the moment, while holding onto the One who is larger than time. And he concludes, "You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You." (Psalm 73:24-25, NKJV)

Ponder this passage prayerfully, Believer. May your faith grow deep, strong, and mature.

"God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!

I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times.

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. "

(Lamentations 3:22-31, The Message)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Do Hard Things!

I avoid physical exercise. "Let's take a walk this evening," is an invitation with about as much attraction as "how about getting a flu shot?" But I also know that going for a brisk walk several evenings during the week would be beneficial to my health and my waistline! In this one area I simply refuse to do the hard thing. My aversion to perspiration has nothing to do with inability; it is not because I cannot; I simply will not. Only half-jokingly older friends tell me that I will change my attitude dramatically after my first heart attack, assuming I survive it.

Every evening I choose not to walk with my lovely wife, it is a little easier to say, "No," the next time; and in ways that are only discernable over the long term, my fitness declines. A couple of Summers ago, when I made myself get up and go with her, each evening it became easier. I actually found that my physical condition improved to the point that I did not huff and puff on the hills!

A disciplined life has many rewards. A person who knows how to budget and control spending, actually finds himself with more discretionary funds! Instead of always paying off his credit cars (and the awful interest that goes with poor stewardship practices) he is able to make more choices including more generosity. A person who regularly prays - as fervently in good seasons as in those when tragedy lurks - enjoys the benefit of current conversation with God and the comfort of meeting a true Friend. A person who makes participation at his local church a priority even when the sun shines on the golf course builds a reservoir of relationships that pays great dividends when life hits reverse (and it will, sooner or later).

The Bible is full of commands that demand much of us. Jesus says things like: "Forgive those who do you wrong! Love your enemies! Practice your generosity without telling anybody. Live for Heaven, not just for your next meal. Deal with your own sin before you try to deal with that of others. Follow me!" In the rest of the Bible we find commands such as - "Keep a tight rein on your words. Don't use filthy speech. Trust God when it's dark. Endure hardship. Give thanks always." Are these hard things? Yes. Are they possible? For the Believer who is filled with Spirit, they are! The issue is will. Will you do hard things or make an excuse why you can't? I am not, for a moment, suggesting that you or I can save ourselves from sin, but we do have a big responsibility to exert our will in the direction of godliness.

Most of us have some 'will nots' in our lives. There are things we do not do because they are difficult or unpleasant. We could do them and even know, in many cases we should be doing them, but we will not. James does not spare our feelings with regard to refusal to do God's hard things. He says that "Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins." (James 4:17, NIV)

The Coach of Heaven stands ready to help us succeed. Let's encourage one another. Let these words urge you on when you find yourself wanting to refuse God's invitation to do the hard things.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." (1 Corinthians 9:24-25, NIV)

"We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God." (Hebrews 12:9-11, The Message)

And, if you encourage me - hopefully I'll start to enjoy that evening walk with Bev!

May the Lord bless your day with good things, with joy, and with the peace of God!