Friday, July 08, 2005

Dealing with Disappointment?

Missed expectations, irritating circumstances, miserable people, tragedy... the list of causes for disappointment is a long one. Disappointment ranges across a wide spectrum of emotions - the awful to the merely unpleasant. Finding out that the person to whom you're married has been unfaithful is a kind of disappointment that is entirely different than discovering that you don't like the dinner you just ordered at the Olive Garden! Disappointment can turn us into angry people, or reduce us to cynicism if we do not deal with it as we should. So what to do with life's disappointments?

We can just insulate ourselves. I think I first read the following line in Peanuts, the cartoon strip - "Blessed is the man who expects nothing for he will never be disappointed!" Withdraw from life. Never take a risk by loving anyone. Never pray a prayer asking for the 'impossible.' You will save yourself some disappointment, but is that really how you want to live- safely insulated from both joy and sorrow hiding away from real life?

We must learn to forgive!
Forgiveness, in one sense, is releasing others from our demand that they act in ways we approve or like. This week, I wrestled with angry disappointment intensely for a couple of days. A person acted in a way towards me that was... well, let's just say, their actions were about as pleasant as sand in my teeth! As long as I remained in the grip of that anger, I had no peace. But, through prayer, I came to a place where I chose to forgive. The situation is not resolved, but I have released it to God's judgment. (I hope I can leave it there! Know what I mean?)

Forgiveness IS NOT telling another, "Ah, forget it. What you did or did not do doesn't matter." That's not true. When a person fails us, breaks our heart, rejects us, or harms us -- it does matter! Our disappointment is real. Trying to convince ourselves that our real emotions are not important or that they are not real, only deepens our internal conflict and anger.Forgiveness is a choice to turn to God's Spirit and seek His help in taking down Self, surrendering our pain to God and allowing Him to enter into our lives with wisdom, peace, and ultimately - here or in eternity - with justice. When we release that person who has disappointed us to God's court, we find freedom from the anger, hatred, and bitterness that often accompanies disappointment. Jesus, when teaching his followers about prayer, reminded us to pray ... Matthew 6:12 "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors....15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

We learn acceptance of circumstances beyond our control. AA taught me the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and
supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

Jesus told us to live with the humility of a child, taking each from God, deeply trusting His purposes and plans. When disappointment comes, one of the first casualties is often faith. "How could God allow this to happen to me?" Let me suggest a slightly different prayer... "Why is God allowing this to happen to me?" The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." NLT Proverbs 3:5-6

The bitterness of missed expectations is sweetened when we set our ultimate hope in the Lord! That familiar promise found in Isaiah 40:30-31 reminds us that: "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

In this broken world, full of sin and hatred, of war and terrorist threats, of uncertainty about tomorrow - we can be people of hope. No, not a naive and silly hope that will not see life as it is, but a hope that sees beyond today and trusts in God's promise to make all things right. And so we pray, ever more earnestly, "May your Kingdom come, and Your will be done - on earth, as it is in Heaven." Amen.
_________________________

Thanks for the birthday greetings! I received so many emails and appreciated the humor, the affirmation, and the love each one brought my way yesterday. God be with you and bless YOU today.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Just when you thought...

This news clip was on the AP site this morning.Pittsburgh- "James Henry Smith loved his country. He served in Vietnam and spent 25 years in the Army, Army Reserve and National Guard. But the 55-year-old Garfield man also had love for his favorite football team, the Pittsburgh Steelers -- and that led to an unusual viewing after he died from prostate cancer this week. Smith's family asked the Samuel E. Coston Funeral Home in Lincoln-Lemington to place his body not in a casket, but in a recliner that faced a television playing Steelers highlights. In Smith's hand was a remote control. He was dressed in black and gold Steelers clothing, and a team blanket was draped over one of the chair's armrests." http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/WCVB/20050706/lo_wtae/2811550

An amazing legacy, isn't it? A man whose passion in life is a professional football team and whose family chooses, as their last visual image of him, having him sitting in a recliner, holding a remote control, in front of a TV playing game highlights. I just shake my head in disbelief on that one. I hope I do a little better in the legacy department than that. How about you?

I've been a little pensive this week, today marking my 50th birthday. A half century of years brings interesting things to my life... a balding head, grandchildren, a wife who looks 20 years younger than I, being a sage to some (and a fool to some, too!), and increasing thoughts of legacy.

It's a cliché but none the less true for me: only yesterday I was a young guy, full of visions, trying to manage a small rambunctious family, and working out the implications of the will of God for my life. I am very thankful today that my regrets are few and my memories are abundantly pleasant. It is neither wisdom nor luck that has brought me to this place, but rather the goodness of the Lord. What a graceful God that directs my steps. I have not received what I deserved! I revel in His mercies, pour out my thanks for His favor, and wonder at His love.

Paul's words express my aim for the rest of the trip, however long that may be, God helping me by His Spirit: "I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! (I heard that amen!) But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.
... I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing:Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven."
(Philippians 3:12-14, NLT)

If my family chose to display my body after my death (which I hope they don't!) I would want to be on my knees looking upward towards Heaven! My passion is to love Him and, hopefully, to cause others to love Him, too. It would a fine legacy to be known simply as one who loved Jesus with his whole heart and who lived to please the God of Heaven.

What's legacy are you building today?
Have you set your sights high?
It's a rather unpleasant thought, but if your family chose to have your final visual presentation as the representation of your passion - what would the tableau look like?

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
Let's commit to living to the full, choosing wisely, with God's help, so that when all is summed up, we will be able to say,
"And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness that the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that great day of his return."
(2 Timothy 4:8, NLT)

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Generations

Gavin, my grandson who is 3 years old, is growing in his awareness of God. Before we ate dinner, he prayed to thank God for our food and his family. At bedtime, he makes sure to instruct Daddy about giving thanks to Jesus for specific experiences that day. He asks probing questions about how to know Jesus, too. Such interest in the things of God does a Grandfather's heart good! He is the 5th generation in the Scott family to be trained in the evangelical Christian tradition. How I pray that the training he is receiving at this tender age will take root in his little heart and mind.

I thank God that my children saw the reality of Jesus Christ in our home and that, as they matured, they chose to respond to His love and to His will. We are all- young and old - still growing in grace! I look forward to my father, now in his 7th decade, and learn from him. My sons and daughters look forward to me as a model and, now, the next generation follows on. May the chain never be broken until the coming of the Kingdom.

The oft-quoted Proverb tells us if we "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. " (Proverbs 22:6, NKJV) The Message comes a little closer to the Hebrew intention of the word, "train," saying - "Point your kids in the right direction— when they’re old they won’t be lost." (Proverbs 22:6, The Message) The word that is translated as, "train," is a word that in every other usage in the Bible is translated as "dedicate." Training implies a singular act or an event. To pass the faith along we must go far beyond just taking a child to Sunday School, or having a time - every now and then - of Bible reading at the dinner table.

If we hope that the next generation will take seriously our professed love for God, they must be able to see Him as real in our daily lives. They need to observe how our devotion shapes our attitudes in our business endeavors, our leisure time - yes, the whole of our lives. Moses reminded the people of God that true spirituality is not segregated from real life. He told them that if they wanted the next generation to know the living God they must live in a way that keeps His Presence - front and center all of the time. "Attention, Israel! God, our God! God the one and only! Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night." (Deuteronomy 6:4-8, The Message)

Talking about the Lord in our family is not a forced thing, nor does it involve 'religious' language. God's truth is the hub of the wheel of life. So, as we live, there is always reference to God's will, God's way. Much of the teaching that takes place is not formal, in the sense that we sit down with Bible and pen to 'do a lesson.' Rather, as the Scripture above references, we talk about the Lord at the table, on the deck, as we play and work.

Are you passing the faith along?
___________________________

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road,
And those who've gone before us
Line the way.
Cheering on the faithful,
Encouraging the weary,
Their lives a stirring testament
To God's sustaining grace.

O may all who come behind us
Find us faithful,
May the fire of our devotion
Light their way.
May the footprints that we leave,
Lead them to believe,
And the lives we live
Inspire them to obey.
O may all who come behind us
Find us faithful.

Surrounded by so great
A cloud of witnesses,
Let us run the race
Not only for the prize,
But as those who've gone before us.
Let us leave to those behind us,
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on thru godly lives.

After all our hopes and dreams
Have come and gone,
And our children sift thru all
We've left behind,
May the clues that they discover,
And the memories they uncover,
Become the light that leads them,
To the road we each must find.

O may all who come behind us
Find us faithful,
May the fire of our devotion
Light their way.
May the footprints that we leave,
Lead them to believe,
And the lives we live
Inspire them to obey.
O may all who come behind us
Find us faithful.

© 1987 Jonathan Mark Music ARR UBP of Gaither Copyright Management / Birdwing Music (a div. of EMI Christian Music Publishing) CCLI License No. 810055

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Interdependence!

Watching "Coach Carter," a true story of a high school basketball coach who taught his players that life is more than just being a star on the court, is a great way to spend an evening. One of the highlight moments of the movie is when the players catch the vision of being a team. One of the guys, a street punk named Cruz, was given an assignment by Carter to do an impossible amount of 'suicide' drills and push-ups, so many that it was obvious he could not possibly complete them on time and stay on the team. Just as the coach is ready to send Cruz packing, the other players step up to take part of his assignment on themselves, putting the team's welfare over their own comfort. It's a great moment that sets the tone for the rest of the movie which the Cinderella story of a inner-city school's losing team becoming a winning team as they discover discipline and achievement in other areas of life as well as the basketball court.

(Caution. The movie is not 'Christian,' and contains some themes and language that are not appropriate for younger children.)

Interdependence
is one of the keys to building a life that is truly satisfying and that reaches the potential of God's true purposes. When we realize that we are not meant to do life by ourselves; fiercely independent and protective of our personal rights, we are ready to step up to a new level of success. Few people ever really understand that fact. As simple as the idea of 'team' appears on the surface, the need for the unity of the 'team' is quickly trumped by ego, the desire for accolades, and/or personal comfort issues in almost every situation.

Interdependence is difficult for many reasons.

Sometimes the skill or success of another threatens us. Those abilities become a reason for resentment. You've likely encountered that problem when you have given your best, worked hard for a team, only to have your team-mates tell you to 'back off' from your high level of performance because they are unwilling to step and match the effort! An interdependent team lets the skills or dedication of the best member lift the others to higher planes, instead of pulling him down.

Then, too, you most likely have felt the temptation for personal glory. Who among us has not wanted to stand up and say, "Hey, how about a little credit here?" There's something about our human nature that likes our efforts to recognized. While is good and even important to recognize the contributions of the members of our team; the moment that gaining individual recognition becomes a priority, the success of the team will be be diminished.

Listen to what Paul wrote to a local church - "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me." (Philippians 1:3-7, NIV)

Paul was a 'super star' of the 1st century Church, traveling far and wide preaching and planting churches. His influence was unmatched by any other single man in the early years of Christianity, but does he hold himself higher? No. He calls these local Believers his 'partners,' and thanks God for them! Was Paul always perfect in his interdependent attitudes toward other Believers? Judge for yourself. In one revealing passage near the end of the 2nd letter to the Corinthians, (see chapters 10-13) Paul is overcome with irritation at the supposed super-spirituality of the Corinthian Believers who think themselves so superior to him that they no longer have need of his leadership. He lists his accomplishments. You can tell he is embarrassed that he feels the need to do so. Time and again he says things like, "I speak foolishly... bear with me in this folly." I wonder as he read that letter later in life, if that passage made him cringe with embarrassment? But even as he offers the proofs of his authority and spiritual maturity, Paul remains aware of of his need of others and the power of the Spirit of God!

Are you 'on the team?'
Are you playing in the symphony of grace or seeking to be the solo star?

Let this little song I learned 45 years ago in Sunday School become a theme song:
When we all pull together, pull together, pull together,
When we all pull together, how happy we'll be.
When your work, is my work, and our work, is God's work-
When we all pull together, how happy we'll be.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Living Free

The Declaration of Independence, the document drafted and circulated in these colonies that sparked the revolution, focused on the acts of the British monarch that many of the American colonials found intolerable. It was a document that re-defined the way people thought about government, appealing to the rights of the governed and rejecting the tyranny of a king. While rejecting the king's authority (which many believed came from God) the writers of the Declaration appealed to God as their source of authority and, ultimately, for the success of their cause.

As I re-read the Declaration this morning, http://www.archives.gov/national_archives_experience/charters/declaration_transcript.html - I took note of the references to God and Providence that both open and close the Declaration. Jefferson and those who assisted him in drafting it, regardless of personal devotion or lack thereof, viewed the world as belonging to God and shaped by His will. They clearly knew that their effort to establish a new government separate from the Crown, would be costly and not likely to succeed without the help of God. The last line of the Declaration says, ...for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Two centuries plus later, these United States have not out-grown the need of the protection of Divine Providence! Some may take note our powerful military, our unparalleled wealth, and our stable government and conclude that our liberties are secure, our way of life unassailable. As I gaze out on my peaceful, prosperous neighborhood, it is easy to conclude that any threats to my freedom and prosperity are remote. How wrong that conclusion would be. America remains vulnerable to threat both internal and external.

While I am not one of those who sees an imminent collapse of our nation, there are trends that are deeply troubling. Moral rot is eating away the heart of the nation! Greed, sensuality, and unbridled expressions of selfishness tear away at the nation's heart. Many believe themselves to be their own god, living primarily to satisfy their own demands, ungoverned by Divine command.

There are forces external that desire the destruction of America for reasons both political and spiritual. Our current war is not the first waged to defend our liberty, nor will it be the last.

Without the blessings and protection of God, this nation will crumble into oblivion - like other great nations before.

Today, I encourage you to pray with me that the Spirit of God will sweep over this nation.
  • Pray for individual Believers to live the kind of godly lives that causes others to hunger to know Jesus Christ.
  • Pray for Churches to become powerful catalysts of genuine spiritual transformation.
  • Pray for those who govern, that they will recognize - like the writers of the Declaration - the need for reliance on the protection of Divine Providence.
  • Finally, today, let's pray for those men and women who are under arms in the service of our government. May God bless them for their willingness to serve, keep them safe, and comfort their families.

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.
From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth— he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.

But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine." (Psalm 33:12-19, NIV)