Be Patient With Me

The pain, stress, uncertainty of the last few days came calling for payment yesterday ‘round 5.  A tray in Bev’s hospital room jammed and that tiny ‘crisis’ triggered a flood of emotion in both of us.  A spark of impatience turned into some harsh words that led to silence;   then came the tears.  As we talked through our tears, I had a revelation of the importance of patience with others.  It’s not just us that are having a hard time. 

Thanks to the Curse of Sin there is an abundance of pain in this world, much of it carried by people who are alone, afraid, and crushed.  I am understanding Jesus’ description of the crowds who He said were "harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." (Matthew 9:36, NIV)  Sometimes that sense of helplessness makes people difficult. Love’em anyway!

About a half hour after our tears in our room, I went to the cafeteria in the hospital. The girl at the register saw my red eyes and asked if was a hard day. When I said yes, she suddenly teared up and said, “Me, too.”  Then, she told me that her grandfather had died the week before.  She cried as she showed me pictures on her cell phone.  I asked if I could give her a hug and there we stood – embracing, two people in pain.  She took time to notice a man with red eyes! I took time to listen.  That interaction – perhaps no more than 2 minutes in time – left both of us richer.

It may be that the person who is hardest to get along with at work, your spouse who is quick to say hard words, your child who acts out – might be saying, “Be patient with me, life hurts right now.” The Word says that “Love is patient, love is kind. … it is not easily angered.” (1 Cor. 13:4)  Could it be that we are not patient with each other in part because we feel some need to fix things instead of listening?  We want to rush to set things right, to explain what ought to change. Perhaps we even presume to tell another why they are hurting so badly.  Yes, there is a time to correct; but love begins with listening, entering deeply into the heart of the other person. 

People are more than their problems or their production!  We are complex creatures – full of feelings, dreams, hopes – capable of love and hate, able to feel great joy and crushing sorrow.  No one can be understood in a few moments. We need to receive and to give patience that seeks to understand.  That kind of listening says, “I love YOU, not just what you can do for me.”  Perhaps I am just late to this party.  But, I am learning from my pain. I don’t want someone to ‘fix’ my problems.  They cannot.  But, I want to be heard, for that affirms my value as a person.  I pray that I will listen better in the future.

Listen, patiently, today!  Look that person in the eye and give them the time they need.  May our actions, more than our words, cause others to see the love of Jesus.

"I pray to you, O LORD, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation. Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters.

Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me.
Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me.
Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.
Come near and rescue me; redeem me because of my foes." (Psalm 69:13-18, NIV)