Miley and Sex

Miley Cyrus put on quite a show at at the VMA awards on Sunday night. Her act had the press in a buzz.  This time around it wasn’t just ‘church ladies’ who were shocked. She went from entertainment to raunchy and beyond.  Lady Gaga performed as expected, with her usual sleaze compensating for her mediocre talent.  Is sex just part of a show, a way to be self-indulgent?  Does sex matter or is it just satisfying an appetite, as somebody said, “like enjoying a cheeseburger?” Adam Hamilton asks Christians to re-think the trivialization of sex.  I borrowed a a column from Ministry Matters for CWTW today.  I could say, ‘enjoy,’ but I don’t think that would be the right expression, so read on.

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The Trivialization of Sex  

Churches don’t often spend a lot of time reminding people of the beauty and importance of sexual intimacy. Conversely, society tends to trivialize and cheapen it. People talk about “hooking up” or having “friends with benefits.” From that perspective, sex becomes not the culmination of a deep, meaningful relationship, but instead merely an end in itself. It has become commonplace in our society to think that after a first or second date, a couple might sleep together. This trivialization of sex, far from liberating us, robs sexual intimacy of its power. The Bible uses an interesting euphemism for sex: to know. So when Adam was intimate with Eve the text says, "Then Adam knew his wife…" (Genesis 4:1) Some have thought the Bible a bit odd in its concern that one not reveal their "nakedness" to another.

But here was the idea. When you have shared your body with another, you have shared what others cannot see or experience. You are knowing one another. Here's the challenge with hooking up or friends with benefits: We’re simply not ready to reveal our innermost selves to another human being after one or two dates; the bonding that happens is premature. And when we pull away from one person and bond quickly with another and another, sexual intimacy eventually no longer bonds us, biochemically or emotionally, to our partner.

Are you a bad person if you’ve been with someone before you were married? No, of course not, you are human. We long for intimate touch and companionship. It requires extraordinary restraint and self-discipline not to experience sex before marriage. But it is a biblical ideal that many people choose to pursue. I was one of them and I continue to be grateful that the one person I've ever been intimate with is Avon, and the first time we were intimate was on our wedding night.

Within this ideal, a beautiful human story unfolds. You make a covenant with another human being, in sickness and in health, no matter what happens: “I am with you. I will love you and remain by your side. When you are old, when you start to sag and wrinkle, when you are not as physically beautiful as you are today, I will be there.” Then, after the two of you make this pledge, with your hearts pounding, you see each other naked, you embrace, and you become one flesh. It may be awkward and strange that first time, and you may not get it quite right, but somehow you figure it out together, and the intimate journey begins.

Sex has far more meaning than our society supposes. I invite you, even if you have been intimate with another in the past, to reclaim the idea that sex is purposeful and meaningful, and it isn’t something to be trivialized.

excerpt from: Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment by Adam Hamilton. Copyright©2013 by Abingdon Press.

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Thank you, Adam.  We need to do better than to just forbid intimacy or scold the Miley Cyrus types.  Christian, regardless of our age – 16 or 76 – we need to give thanks for our sexuality, celebrate what it means to be “male” or “female” and protect our minds and hearts from cheap, raunchy, or lewd expressions.  This will help us to give dignity to people as God planned, keep us from turning others into objects we desire only for the pleasure they could provide us, and help us to love in the way Jesus desires.

Here’s a word from the Word. I quote from The Message as that translation allows us to see impact of this Spirit-inspired wisdom on our age.

"There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.”

There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works.

So let people see God in and through your body. Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out." (1 Corinthians 6:16-7:4, The Message)

“So let people see God in and through your body.”  There’s a thought to ponder all day!