About a year ago, I was gung-ho for my
daily visits to the gym. I was engaged with my trainer, ready to get this old
body in shape, feeling the need to be conditioned. By mid-October, the
enthusiasm faded along with the novelty. Yes, I still knew exercise was good
for me, but the fun was worn off. Only real determination got me there. Then,
in early November, I hurt my knee during a run on the treadmill. The pain was
real and took me out of training, by doctor's orders, for at least a month. I
have not returned! The motivation to go and sweat through a work-out routine is
lost, all my best hopes for a conditioned body went slip, sliding away. Do I
know I should make a better choice? Of course. Do I think about it? Yes,
but less each day.
I wonder if my gym experience is parallel
to church attendance for some people? In nearly 4 decades of pastoral ministry,
I have seen hundreds of people show up in the congregation, get all
excited, make all the right noises, talk about how much it means to them... and
then, sometime later, go slip, sliding away. Many just disappear, without a
word, leaving me wondering why they left. Others send a note, a few even come
by my office to tell me they're leaving. The reasons are often much the same.
Some say that no one was friendly or they did not feel welcomed. Others say
they aren't being spiritually fed, which usually means they don't like the
preaching. Some point to some incident with their kids where they feel the
church did not respond well. Almost no one says, "I've just lost
interest" but I'm fairly certain that's a reality in many cases.
When someone leaves the church, I mourn.
Really, it hurts every time, even after all these years. It's personal to me.
No, it's not just about a sense of professional failure, though that's part of
it. I mourn for the leaver, too. Their choice has negative consequences. People
who are most spiritually healthy and productive maintain a strong
relationship with His Body. When a family is inconsistent in their attendance,
or when they pick up and move on, the kids will be affected in the long term,
even more than their parents are. No factor predicts an adult's choice to
regularly attend church more than being taken consistently to the same church
throughout his youth. I also know that 'leavers' almost always benefit from
pressing through their issues with the church, whatever they may be, than by
going to another church down the street. We grow into better people when we
resolve conflict, wrestle through doubt, or deal with the desire to be served.
Some of you are wondering if I have
confused church attendance with being a Christian. No, I have not. But, no one
should believe that they will ever be all that God desires them to be, that
their spiritual gifts will develop to full maturity, without being part of the
Church. Christianity is a communal experience, never just about me, always
about we. That's why the Scripture directs us to "consider how we may
spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting
together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one
another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews
10:24-25, NIV) One of the reasons I'm still not working out is that I never
made friends at the gym. I did not meet somebody there who would encourage me
when I lacked motivation, who would hold me accountable, in whom I could invest
myself. That is one of the functions of being 'in church.' Those who are
walking the highway of holiness with us laugh with us, cry with us, push us and
pull us, argue with us, and steady us.
Are you thinking about leaving your church?
Have you talked with the Lord honestly about your desire?
The better choice is to stick with it, to
bring your whole heart to it, and in more than just Sunday worship, too. Invest
time in the people that are there with you. Celebrate the connections. Will it
always be perfect? No. Pastors are people who have good weeks and bad ones,
too. Christians don't always get it right. But, together, in love, we are
always better together, than we are apart.
So, here's the word from the Word. May it
call you to Christ's Church, committed, consistent, faithful, and
steady.
"I observed yet another example of
something meaningless under the sun. This is the case of a man who is all
alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth
as he can. But then he asks himself, "Who am I working for? Why am I
giving up so much pleasure now?" It is all so meaningless and depressing.
Two people are better off than one, for
they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out
and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people
lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A
person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand
back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is
not easily broken."
(Ecclesiastes 4:7-12, NLT)
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2 comments:
I'm so glad that my post last week actually worked, but I promise not to comment every day, since the "comment approval process" makes more work for you. But while I'm here, let me thank you for your very apt analogy, comparing physical workouts at a gym to spiritual workouts at a church. Your insight that friendship could be the key to sticking with the former suggests how important the ties of friendship are to folks' relationship to the church. Jesus knew what he was doing when he said to his disciples, "I have not called you servants...but... friends." Sometimes, and for all kinds of reasons, ties of friendship in the church aren't able to be made. Other times, and again for all kinds of reasons, ties of friendship come undone and the ensuing sadness drives people away. My prayers are with them. Finally, I love being part of your online community of virtual friends who can in some measure be one in heart and mind as we read and ponder the thoughts you offer us. Thanks, Jerry.
David J.
Church can be very meaningful. Church can also be a popularity contest with winners and losers. And for the losers the deep ensuing sadness can be difficult if not impossible to overcome.
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